I look at old photos of myself at like ... 11 when my mom finally let me wear eye shadow and
lip gloss, or at 19 my college dorm shower caddy full of natural hair products just tryna figure
out what to do with what was on my head before class the next morning. Or even my entire 20s
when I tried to see just how far carrying a camera could take me.
Some things, arguably most things, you just have to try out in public. Where people can see you.
Take it for a spin. See how it feels.
I think a lot of the fear we hold is tied to that. Because people are butts.
And nobody wants to be seen trying.
I don't wanna exercise with people with smaller boobs than me.
We not jump roping together fam. I feel like you showin' off.
Or when it's finally your turn to prepare that family recipe and yo granny and yo aunties take that first bite and you're just
sitting there waiting with bated breath for that generational co-sign.
It's vulnerable to try.
Funny enough, though, it's the people willing to look ridiculous
that tend to get exactly what they want out of life. Or at least live with some sense of inner
peace that the rest of us don't got.
I first saw the phrase "don't be afraid to be seen trying" on a card in an Etsy shop and I bought it immediately.
I had never seen it said like that before.
And it made me feel like, "Oh. I don't have to banish myself to some sort of hidden metamorphosis only emerging as a finally respected, fully realized Butterly."
Realistically, most of us are more like baby giraffes. Out in the open, okay. Exposed.
Real wobbly. Okay, kinda bow-legged. But we gon' get there eventually.
And to make matters worster (laughs). To make life even harder, we seem to get a lot of
mixed messages from society around the concept of effort. We praise who we perceive to have natural
talent. We love a prodigy. But we also love us a rags to riches story.
You gotta beat some type of odds, okay. Don't get cocky. But if you are not excellent at all times,
we will embarrass you. We will roast you. But if you didn't struggle to get where you are,
unrelatable. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much.
And I've caught myself hesitating to make certain decisions in life because I don't want it to look like I don't know what I'm doing.
Look like.
Building a life for yourself that's inching closer and closer to a life you actually wanna live
requires that someone, somewhere, sometime might actually witness you trying to live it.
Yes, people might see you suck at dating, that you're posting your cash app on social media
because you can't afford rent and you tryna see who tryna come up off this Black Lives Matter money.
Yes, people might see that nobody came to your first event, or that you can't run one mile.
And yes, they might even notice that you don't know how to anchor your braid down to your root
so your fresh set of twists automatically look two weeks old. Some of those people might even
say something mean to you about it. But, say it with me, those people are butts.
Look, 2020 has done a number on us. As we move towards the end of the year and into the new year, I just wanna
hop on and remind myself through telling y'all: prioritize yourself and your community over the
people who may be watching from the sidelines of your life, okay, talkin' that yap yap.
You know when people watch sports and you have an actual athlete playing the sport, meanwhile,
all of us civilians be in the stands talkin' bout "Oh! Come on! Why don't you just shoot the
three? Take the shot!" Meanwhile, we can't run a mile without being kinda winded.
I end with this quote. "I don't see how you can hate from outside of the club. You can't even get in."
(Narrator) Let's go!
(Evelyn) Shout-out to Audible for sponsoring today's pep talk, today's video.
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Visit audible.com/evelyn or text EVELYN to 500-500. You know I had to go ahead and put
Barack Obama's newest memoir "A Promised Land" on my list. I wanna listen to him talk about
how he tried, okay. How he failed, and what it all means from his perspective.
And he narrates his own audiobook which just adds to the experience, okay, my fellow Americans.
Again, if you wanna get started on your 30-day trial membership, visit audible.com/evelyn or text EVELYN to 500-500.
In the comments below, be nice to yourself. Say something nice to yourself.
And I will see you on the internet somewhere. Bye!