- Bill and Melinda just announced their divorce
after 27 years of marriage.
In this video we're going to take a look at what Bible says about divorce,
and some signs of divorce or reasons people get divorced.
Before we go any further,
I want to welcome you to my channel,
if this is your first time, welcome,
click on the subscribe button,
and then click on the bell so you can get notified any time we post videos.
We stream every Thursday at 7:00 pm Pacific Time.
We would love for you to join us for our live stream every week.
So Bill and Melinda Gates filed for divorce,
even though we don't know exactly what reasons that they filed for the divorce,
but what's shocking is the fact that they've been married for 27 years.
They seem like in the context of the world and the culture,
like an exemplary couple.
Just not long ago,
Jeff Bezos, who's also was the richest person in the world,
with his wife MacKenzie, filed for divorce after 25 years of marriage
due to infidelity on Jeff Bezo's part.
And we see this commonly with the culture
where people get married,
celebrities, politicians and rich people and sometimes even Christian pastors.
And they file for divorce,
and they call it a quits on marriage,
sometimes it's because of adultery,
sometimes because of other things.
What does the Bible say about divorce?
See, in the law of Moses found in Deuteronomy 24:1-4,
as well as in Deuteronomy chapter 22 verses 19 and verses 29,
we see that God allowed or permitted divorce.
In fact, the Jewish teachers had these two main school of thought.
The first school of thought believed that
only due to a moral cause can a man divorce his wife.
And then there was other school of thought that believed
that you can divorce your wife for absolutely no reason;
Like bad breathe, snoring, running sore or
she was burning your food when you were cooking
and you can divorce her pretty much.
And so there was one school of thought
that believed she has to or he has to commit a moral sin,
immorality, cheating, adultery;
and the other school of thought believed that you have to pretty much do anything
and just divorce her for no reason.
And when the question was asked,
during the time of Jesus,
this was a very controversial topic
because on both sides of the religion of the Jewish people,
there were people there.
And so Jesus, He didn't take none of their sides.
In fact, He says even on the side where adultery was the reason,
where divorce was permitted,
He said even there,
He said the reason why God permitted divorce
was because of men's hardness of heart.
He said but in the beginning it was not so.
Meaning God's original intent was for people to be together all their life
and grow old together,
raise their children,
And we see the statistics;
when children come out of broken families,
it's devastating.
The relationships that then they have are also very difficult to maintain.
It takes a toll on finances,
it takes a toll on education,
it takes the toll on our society.
That's one of the reasons why Malachi says, "God hates divorce."
He doesn't hate divorced people.
He just hates what divorce does to people.
Because God loves people therefore He hates divorce.
The same way God hates cancer.
He doesn't hate people who have cancer.
He hates cancer because of what cancer does to people.
God hates death because of what death does to people.
God never created divorce,
God never created death and God never created sickness.
But...
in the Scriptures we see that there are clear two reasons
that divorce is permitted.
A lot of marriage counselors,
Christian ones,
will add a third reason and I'll mention it
but two main ones that we see;
number one is adultery,
Jesus mentioned that in Matthew 19:9
He says, " I say to you, whoever divorces his wife
"except for sexual immorality,
"and marries another, commits adultery;
and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
And so, I mean, Jesus sets the standard really high.
I mean think about it;
not only He says that if you divorce your wife because of immorality,
and you marry someone else, you're committing adultery.
That's what Jesus says.
This is the grace guy. This is Jesus.
Now Jesus does not in any way says that this sin of adultery
of marrying somebody when you got divorced is unforgivable sin.
But in the eyes of the gospels, we see that that's a sin.
And this may come as a shock to many people.
And even when Jesus says you're permitted to divorce,
it's with a goal so you can reconcile not to get remarried.
And so, it's pretty strict.
Really strict.
In fact, this was so strict,
that disciples says it's better not to get married.
So Jesus's standards are extremely high.
Now apostle Paul also gives us another reason for divorce.
And that is when abandonment happens.
In 1 Corinthians 7:14-15,
it says, "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,
"and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;
"otherwise your children would be unclean,
"for they are now holy.
"If the unbeliever departs, let him depart;
"a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.
For God has called us to peace."
In other words, Paul is saying,
if an unbelieving brother or sister abandons their spouse
because their spouse became a believer
and they cannot, you know, live in peace with that person,
then the brother and sister is not in bondage to that relationship anymore.
And the third reason for divorce;
and there's different Scriptures that are kind of twisted slightly about abuse.
Where you can divorce somebody because of abuse.
Now, please hear my heart.
If you're in abusive relationship,
if you are in a sexually abusive, physical abusive relationship,
I am not in any way advocating for you to stay with that person.
As a pastor, my first advice would be to separate.
My first advice would be to call police,
notify the authorities. Okay?
But we don't see a clear instruction in the New Testament
where abuse is the ground for divorce.
Plus today abuse can be anything.
He raised his voice,
you know, I felt emotionally abused,
and I felt this and that.
And so a lot of people use that vaguely in our culture
to justify the behavior of divorce.
Now,
I'm fortunate to grow up in a family where I've seen my mom and my dad
for over 35 years, been married, happily married.
My great-grandpa, my grandpa, on both sides married, all their life.
My grandma has 16 children.
And most of my views concerning marriage and divorce
doesn't just come from the Bible,
it comes because I've seen the blessedness of great marriage.
I am not here to judge anybody who's maybe went through divorce,
who's currently going through that,
but I'm here to share with you
concerning what the Scripture teaches us.
And in the conclusion of this video,
I want to share with you seven signs of divorce.
A lot of people who are getting married are honestly already set up for divorce.
You may say, "How could that be?
They got married at the church, pastor married them."
These are few simple signs- seven signs.
Sign number one,
is when you lack premarital preparation.
Many people go into marriage already destroyed.
Their marriage is destroyed.
Why?
Because they don't lay a proper preparation for their marriage.
Preparation, pre-marriage counseling.
Going to counseling,
going through books, materials,
lowers your expectation and raises your preparation.
People who don't take pre-marriage classes have a higher chance of divorce.
The second sign of divorce is coming from a broken family
or from a divorced home.
Like everything else, divorce is generational.
And many times, it's a curse that runs through a generation.
If that maybe is your case, you're not hopeless.
But you have to be conscious,
and you have to be real concerning the fact
that perhaps the desires to divorce,
the circumstances that are pushing you to divorce
are nothing short than a generational curse
that wants to continue in your family tree.
You have to stop it.
You have to come against it.
You may not be able to change the past,
but you can change the future.
Number three,
the sign of divorce,
is living together before marriage.
One statistic says divorce rates between couples who are married
is between 40% - 50%.
But divorce rates between couples that are living together
before they get married is about 70%.
Meaning if you're cohabitating,
your chance of succeeding in marriage is about 30%.
I understand girls will agree to cohabitate because guys promise commitment.
And guys love to cohabitate because they pretty much
get all the benefits of marriage without the commitment of marriage.
But Bible is against cohabitation.
It's sex before marriage and the Scripture calls it fornication.
And it's one of the signs that divorce comes through.
And one of the open doors to the curse of divorce.
Number four is weak spiritual foundation.
When you don't have a foundation in your marriage,
that is strong,
you begin to draw your identity from work,
you begin to draw your identity from your spouse
and you will cripple your relationship.
If the foundation of your marriage is not God,
if the foundation of your marriage is not freedom from curses and demons,
your marriage--
you can build a great marriage,
all it takes is a storm, rain and the flood
and everything will collapse.
Because the wise man build his house on the rock.
Your marriage must be built on deliverance,
on your commitment to Christ,
on sharing not only bodies but faith, vision and same mission for life.
Number five cause of divorce is poor relational support.
It's when you don't have people around you who are champions for marriage.
The moment young people get married,
and all their friends are single or divorced,
it's a recipe for disaster.
If you want to stay married,
happily married,
surround yourself by married people.
Divorce and adultery runs in groups.
There are groups where divorce and adultery
is the main common thing that unites them.
And if you are that person who is not divorced,
and who don't have adultery,
but you are in the group of people who are divorced,
the demon of adultery,
the curse of divorce,
has already marked you.
You have got to change your group immediately.
And surround yourself with a support group of people that are happily married
and who champion the cause of marriages.
Number six sign of divorce
is chronic criticism, negativity, anger and unresolved conflicts.
We all go through struggles as married couples.
But the moment your criticism, negativity, anger,
becomes chronic,
it becomes radioactive.
You're not just reactive,
you're not just proactive concerning the issues,
you're radioactive.
Meaning, you blow up.
It's chronic.
It's deadly.
You are in danger of heading into divorce.
And number seven,
and this is a huge one.
This is why I believe many people in the culture
including Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos,
and more and more divorces are showing up,
are being divorced.
It's because culture and some people in the church,
don't have a scriptural view of what marriage is.
What do I mean by that?
Many people in the culture view marriage as a contract not as a covenant.
Marriage is not a contract.
What is a contract?
It's pretty much an agreement between two parties,
trying to preserve their interests,
limit their responsibilities.
It's written with a time,
it's written by ink,
and it has an expiration.
And the person gives a portion of who they are to the other person.
A covenant is different.
In the covenant,
you guard the other person's interests.
You limit your interests and you increase your responsibilities.
Covenants are always made in blood.
Covenants are forever.
And covenants, they are the ones that bond people.
God has covenant with His people.
It's made in blood.
That's why on a wedding night,
a lot of times, you know, when a young woman is a virgin,
there is spitting of blood that happens during a sexual intercourse.
Why is that?
Doctors who study this topic and the human body
they say that there's no reason for that layer of skin to be in the woman's body,
except for no reason.
I believe God allowed that so that there's a covenant that's made
during the first intercourse in marriage
thus sealing this relationship into a covenant
instead of just a contract that you draw with a pen.
And so, whatever your view is of Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos,
as Christians, we're called to have happy marriages,
we are called to have marriages that last,
and marriages that are a little bit of heaven on earth.
I'm not talking about abusive,
I'm not talking about tolerating each other,
I'm not talking about enduring.
I'm talking about enjoying each other.
And I'm talking about being a reflection
of the union of Jesus and His bride the church.
What do you think about divorce?
Are you grown up in a divorced family?
How has that affected your life?
Why do you think God is against divorce?
Drop that in the comments below.
I would love to hear your response.
Don't forget to like this video, subscribe to this channel,
and stay engaged.
We'll see you on Thursday during the stream,
or when we upload the next video.