Now a little fun fact that you may not know about me
is that my mother, Ann LoDolce,
happens to be a divorce attorney
and maybe you've seen her on the channel before
and yes, I know the irony is very real.
I happen to be a dating coach,
getting people into relationships
and my mother happens to be a divorce attorney,
getting people out of them.
So while most children would grow up,
sitting at the family table,
talking about the most mundane parts of their life,
we would be talking about child custody and be having
nuanced debates about alimony and child support.
I would usually be losing these debates
and now as a dating coach, I'm finding that a lot of you
sexy single ladies are starting to date
one of these divorced men and now I'm gonna bring
my knowledge of being a dating coach as well as
my mother's experience of being a divorce attorney
and combine this into one epic video about dating
and divorced men just for all you sexy single Ladies.
Let's go.
Hey there, Adam LoDolce from SexyConfidence.com
where I help you create your love story and if you want
more videos about dating divorced men and you want me
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So here's one question I got
from one of my email subscribers.
Let me read it for you, Adam, I absolutely love your videos
and the brutal honesty with which you answer questions.
You are very welcome.
Any words of wisdom on dating men who are separated
or going through a divorce, red flags to watch out for?
How do I know if he's genuinely interested in commitment
or just using me to get over his ex?
Well, RJ I feel your pain and this is very common
with a lot of my Love Accelerator clients
and this especially rings true
when people go too little of step number two,
which is creating your love vision.
This is a process we go through where you wanna get
crystal clear about what it is you want
for future relationships and I find that a lot of my clients
wanna say that they'll never get involved
with a man who's gone through a divorce and at that moment,
I tend to push back a little bit
because I don't want you to push away all divorced men,
I just want you to push away certain divorce men
who have these red flags.
So let's jump into the seven red flags
to look out for when dating a divorced man.
Number one is if he's using the word separated,
that means he's still married.
Do not allow yourself to get emotionally involved
through the man who's only separated.
He needs to work out the logistical ending of his marriage
before he jumps into anything really serious moving forward.
I can't tell you how many women get sucked
into a relationship many times is just a rebound
with a separated man, only to find out
that he's still married and actually working
on his relationship or that he's going to remain married
but still separated for many years to follow
and he never plans on getting remarried.
So anytime you hear the word separated, I want you to
translate that into I'm not available for anything serious.
The second red flag is when a divorced man
wants to immediately jump into
a very serious relationship right away.
Another pattern I noticed with divorced men
is that because they were married previously,
they are only comfortable with relationships
that are very, very serious very quickly.
Like they are not comfortable with the dating process
of just getting to know each other a little bit and this is
where I really want you to be pacing their relationship.
Slow it down, make sure that you don't jump in too quickly.
Even if he is pushing hard to spend a lot of time together,
maybe even move in together, make sure you slow him down
a little bit, so that you have that time to actually get
to know each other and see if this is actually
a good compatible fit.
Red flag number three is that
he has a negative attitude towards love.
My mother has always said that divorce is truly
one of the most traumatic things
you will ever go through in your life
and it's not uncommon for someone to come out of a divorce
with a negative attitude towards love and thinking,
I don't wanna ever go through that ever again.
So don't be surprised if he's in the head space
where he never wants to get married again
and if he says that you need to take him for his word.
Don't be surprised if he's just in a head space
where he's not able to trust you, he's not able to actually
open his heart to you because he is still feeling
the baggage from his past relationship.
The fourth red flag is that he has no custody
of his children whatsoever.
Now, if he has zero custody of his children,
it doesn't guarantee that there's a major problem there,
it's just a red flag because you're going to wanna explore
what's really going on here.
Typically, if he's a good guy or a good dad,
there's at least shared custody in the relationship
in the raising of his children
and if he has little involvement in his children's life
or certainly no involvement in his children's life,
maybe there's something deep and dark about him
that you don't know about quite yet.
Typically, the relationship that someone has
with their children is very congruent with the relationship
they'll have with other people in their life
but divorces are complicated and they are messy.
So you really wanna find out what actually went on there,
so you can actually have a clear picture of this guy.
Red Flag number five is that he's depressed
or has low self-esteem.
Like I said earlier, divorce is traumatic
and it can absolutely destroy your self-esteem.
It can make you feel like you are not worthy
for a relationship, especially if there's infidelity
in the relationship on the woman side but just remember,
it's not your job to fix this man.
It's not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place
in his love life, he needs to find that path on his own
and I want you to avoid wasting too much time
trying to rehabilitate this guy
when you could be keeping your options open to other people.
Red flag number six is that his ex wife
is still a huge part of his life.
Now I get it, if he has children with his ex wife,
they need to make sure they have an active relationship
and maybe even a cordial friendship but if you're finding
that his ex wife is a constant part of his life.
He's texting her on a constant basis.
He's always seeing her more than probably
would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open.
It is still possible that he might be trying to win her back
and then finally red flag number seven is that you're just
not feeling any type of emotional connection with this guy.
Sometimes when a man goes through a divorce,
he just becomes so emotionally broken,
that he's just not available
to be able to connect with a woman.
And if you're at a point in your life where you are ready
for a good healthy long-term relationship,
you need to only make yourself available
to emotionally available men.
Now, those are the biggest red flags I really want you
to be looking for when you're dating a divorced man
and if you don't see any of those red flags,
then great, go for it.
Just because a man was divorced
doesn't mean he's disabled for relationships
and in fact, he actually may have learned a lot
from that first marriage and he can bring those learnings
to a future marriage.
He may be at a point in his life where he has more clarity
than he's ever had in his entire life about what he wants
in a relationship and in a woman and if you're out there
dating and meeting lots of men and you want some coaching
on how to really navigate today's dating scene,
I definitely recommend you check out
our Love Accelerator coaching program.
If you head on over to SexyConfidence.com/Coaching,
you'll be able to learn all about our coaching process
and how we apply the little love steps to your love life
to help you go from being single to a healthy relationship.
And when you're there, you'll have the ability to apply it
to speak to myself or someone on my team
who's going to really strategize with you your love life
and whether or not we can really help you and finally,
I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.
Have you ever been dating a divorced guy
and seen any of these red flags in this video?
Leave a comment below, let me know what happened.
Thank you so much for watching and I'll speak to you,
you sexy single lady next week, bye bye.