- Man, oh man.
Have you ever heard of wikiFeet?
- No.
Wait, what is it? wikiFeet?
- Yeah.
It's like this site where people upload pics of feet.
- Oh God, like in a fetish way?
- Yeah I guess.
- Uh.
- I mean, whatever you're into.
- Oh no, for sure.
- I don't wanna yuck their yum.
- No, no, no of course not. - Anyway, so I have a profile.
- You, you made a profile?
- No, I didn't make one.
No, no, no, so that's the thing.
Like somebody else makes a profile for you
and then I guess they just like, upload photos of your feet
when they find them?
- Oh, that feels weird.
- Yeah, right. It is.
Well it's like, I don't wanna judge what you're into,
but that fact that you're like, combing through my videos
and photos so you can take a screenshot of my feet,
like that feels a little-
- Violating? Objectifying?
- Yeah. - [Jill] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Mmm. Wow.
Yeah, no. I- I didn't even know that existed.
- Yeah, no, I didn't either
and then a friend told me about it so I just googled.
- Whoa, hold up. I- I have a profile.
- On wikiFeet?
- Yeah, look.
- Crazy.
- Wait, how the hell did they get some of these pics?
- I don't know they just do.
- Okay wait, wait.
So what are the stars at the top?
- Oh, that's like your rating,
like people will rate your feet.
- Oh okay.
Oh! 4.8 stars.
- What?
- Yeah, see like its, its not quite five but it's close.
What's yours?
- Oh yeah, mine's, mine's pretty close, its er-
- Oh yeah, looks like, like a 4.5.
- It's a 4.6.
- Hmm. I don't think so.
- Well it depends which angle,
like you're coming from that angle
but if you look from this angle it's a 4.6.
- Yeah, no, yeah. Yeah sure.
- Well you um, I just, I just noticed this
but you have way less photos on yours
and then that would make sense that,
why you would have a higher rating, I think.
- Wait, why does that make a difference?
- Well because the margins are off.
Right, 'cause you like,
you don't have like an accurate sample size.
You only have a-
- Yeah but,
almost 100% of people think my pics are five out of five.
- Right okay but,
it's just that, okay.
It's like a google restaurant review, right?
Would you rather go to a restaurant that has 4.7
and two reviews or 4.7 and 1500 reviews?
- Yeah but, you're not even a 4.7.
- Okay, well I could be a 4.7
but I don't post like obvious close-up toe pics like you do.
- Why does that feel like an insult?
- Well I just like, I can't post like,
a zoomed in close-up photo of my toes.
Like that would be too suggestive.
Like people would go crazy.
I have to be more subtle than that.
- So, you're saying that I post like skanky toe pics?
- No I mean, well,
come one Jill, you know you do.
Okay, "I'm Jill, I just had a pedicure
with like white nail polish, let me,
let me take a zoomed in photo of my toes,"
like come on.
- Okay, well you're clearly jealous
I have nicer feet than you.
- I am not jealous.
I am not jealous.
I could not be jealous of that gigantic corn.
- Really?
You're going to say that to me with those bunions?
- I'm sure that there are people
who would just love to suck on these bunions.
- Okay well, give me a call when you find them,
'cause where I'm standing, the people have spoken.
Miss 4.5.
- Okay, it is 4.6 to you and you have like zero photos
so get your numbers up you gigantic corn creep.
- Bunion bitch.
- Crusty callus face.
- Ingrown toenail.
- You smell like an athlete's foot.
- You plantars wart.
(both gasp)
- You know I struggled with that.
You know that that-
- I'm sorry. Oh God.
That's your trigger, that's your trigger.
That was too far.
- A little. Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
- Um.
It's okay.
Um, I'm sorry too.
- I don't want wikiFeet to tear us apart.
- Me neither.
We have to stick together.
- I agree.
- Come here.
- That was good.
- Oh my God, Boris Johnson has wikiFeet
and he has five out of five stars!
- What the fuck!?
(both gasp)
- [Together] Oh.
- He actually has really nice feet.
- Really nice feet.
- Wow, this little piggy went to the market.
- Zoom in. - Yeah.
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