-Good evening. I'm Seth Meyers
and this is "Late Night."
On a Thursday, no less!
Let's get to the news.
In a new interview, President Biden defended
his handling of the U.S. troop withdrawal from Afghanistan
and said, "I don't think it was a failure."
But he said it the same way
you would compliment your friend's play.
I thought it was pretty good!
[ Laughter ] Officials from the Treasury Department
are reportedly trying to prevent the Taliban
from accessing the International Monetary Fund.
Well, have you tried one of those things
where they have to click on all the fire hydrants?
I can never do 'em.
[ Laughter ] President Biden announced yesterday
that nursing homes must require their staff
to be vaccinated against the coronavirus
or, more accurately, President Biden
announced yesterday that nursing homes
weren't already doing that?!
[ Laughter ]
The John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act
that Democrats unveiled this week
is expected to be passed by the House.
Oh, sure, it'll get through the House,
but can it get through Manchin? ["mansion"]
[ Laughter ] A rare pun from Baze!
[ Laughter ]
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo
has filed retirement papers with the state
so he can receive his $50,000 annual pension.
For his part, Cuomo claims it's not a cash grab,
but, rather, a friendly cash embrace.
[ As Cuomo ] I'm Italian.
[ Laughter ] The new host of "Jeopardy!", Mike Richards,
apologized yesterday for sexist comments he made on a podcast.
At this rate, he's going to be the first "Jeopardy!" host
to actually invoke double jeopardy.
"Objection, I-I already got in trouble for that one.
What? Oh, sorry.
What is objection?"
[ Laughter ]
Facebook today launched a test
of its new virtual reality remote work app,
where employees can hold meetings
using an Oculus Quest 2 headset.
It's great, if the only thing you hate about Zoom meetings is
that they aren't strapped to your face.
[ Laughter ] A rare photograph
of women's rights activist Susan B. Anthony
is set to go up for auction next month in New York.
It's rare because it's a photo of her
kissing another girl to get free drinks.
[ Laughter ]
Tell people.
Finally, according to a new survey,
70% of Americans would give up their smartphones for their pets
and certain pets make you do that.
And that, you guys, was a monologue.