- Hello. - And welcome
to another episode of Ask, no,
this is not "Ask Your Lesbian Mums".
- Episode of - "Baking Bad"
- In which, I Jessica, a girl who loves to bake,
attempts to convince Claudia, my beautiful wife
who doesn't really love to bake,
that baking's actually super fun!
- And in this particular episode, it's particularly useful
because we're making lactation cookies.
(upbeat music)
(Jessica laughs)
Lactation is not a great word.
- Booby cookies?
Milk cookies.
Lactation cookies were recommended to me
by my close friend who's had her-
- Second baby.
- Her second baby.
- Hi Natalie.
- I think the main ingredients to promote lactation,
I don't know if there's any truth in it,
is oats, flaxseed, almond butter, that kinda stuff.
Oh, brewer's yeast, which I'm really hoping
is just normal yeast, I wasn't really sure
what brewer's yeast was. - We Googled this,
we couldn't work it out.
Basically, when you are breastfeeding,
you apparently have to eat 600 calories extra every day.
- Apparently I will feel hunger like I've never
felt hunger before, which I'm quite alarmed by.
- Boy, does she eat.
- What I'm alarmed by most is we've just had
our house renovated, and our bedroom now
is on the second floor, so that is two flights of stairs
away from the kitchen, and I'm like,
"What?
"I'm going to be hungry like I've never been hungry before,
"and an extra flight of stairs away from the kitchen!"
- The first time my mother met you,
one of the first things she said was,
"How is she still easting?"
(Jessica laughs)
The very first day she spoke with you,
you managed to eat a ridiculous amount of food.
We had a full English breakfast-
- We had a full English, then I got Cornish pasty
as a snack, a mid-morning snack.
- A full Cornish pasty, it was this big, as a snack.
- Then we went out for dinner, oh no wait-
- And at lunch was a massive pizza.
- Yeah, and I ate all of it.
- Then you had three scoops of ice cream
with a waffle cone.
- And I don't remember what we had for dinner
I think dinner was small.
- Then you had a waffle, and then no, you had a steak?
- Did I?
- And my mum is like, "Where is she putting this food?"
- That's what happens when I'm on holiday,
'cause we went to visit them in Cornwall,
and that, to me, is a bit like a holiday,
and when I'm on holiday I'm like,
"Oh, I'm so relaxed!"
(both laugh)
That was not even hungry, so I'm a bit alarmed.
- I'm so afraid!
- At what's coming.
So, we're gonna make a big batch of cookies in advance
that we can put in the freezer,
our whole freezer's gonna be filled with these cookies,
(Jessica laughs)
and I will be like, "Jessica, go get me those cookies!"
- But wait, do we freeze the uncooked dough?
- Uh?
- And then I bake it for you?
- Yeah. - Or do we freeze?
- Yeah, I want freshly baked cookies,
I don't want defrosted cookies.
- Sorry, okay.
- I mean, I don't know, I mean, I'll check on the recipe,
but I would imagine that's what you do.
- "Jessica, cookies!" (heavy rock music)
I'll be down here rolling them out like,
"They're coming!"
- We could create a pulley system through our skylight.
(Jessica laughs) - Oh yeah.
- "Here they are, here's the next batch!"
So, let's have a look at this recipe.
Three cups of old-fashioned oats.
So, I went for this, what I thought looked like
quite old packaging.
(Jessica laughs)
We need one-and-a-half cups, we should be
measuring stuff out whilst, I'm not just telling you
this for fun!
- Do you want me to just put it in a bowl?
- In a large bowl, whisk together oats, flour,
yeast, flaxseed, baking powder, cinnamon and salt.
- Pregnancy has been very physical for me.
- I need one-and-a-half cups of flour.
- She's not using lactose-free butter, however.
- No, or sugar-free.
- Despite her lactose issues.
- I'm gonna make it full fat, because I feel
like I will be needing that.
I need five tablespoons of yeast.
That is excessive.
Apparently it only makes 22 cookies.
- How big is a cookie?
Yeah, an American cookie is like this,
like this, it's a proper.
But a biscuit's like this.
- Five tablespoons ground flaxseed,
so I bought this cold-milled flaxseed
with chia seed, apple, and cinnamon.
Oh, so it tells me to add cinnamon,
but smell this, it's quite-
- Are you sure that we're all adding this,
okay, fine. - There's quite a lot
of cinnamon in this already, so I don't think
we need more cinnamon.
- Honey, exactly how much of that is flaxseed,
and how much is the other ingredients.
- I think it'd be nice.
Through this pregnancy I've noticed,
I'll literally read something, and then within
one second of reading it, I've forgotten.
So if it's a really long sentence, I'm a bit screwed.
- It's kind of hilarious, my wife has been experiencing-
- Memory loss. - Brain fog,
memory loss, chronic fatigue, hyper-mobility.
- I'll be like, "I'm just gonna go get this thing,"
and halfway up the stairs I'm like,
"What?"
- "Why am I even here?"
- And then it's like, "Ugh, but I'm so tired,
"my legs hurt.
"I'm gonna sit down."
And then all I've done is gone halfway up the stairs
and sat down, and I can't remember why I was there,
what I was doin'.
- Yeah, yeah, I mean, you stand up, your feet go flat,
and you're like, "Why though?"
(Both laugh)
- I'm not like, "Why! (hard rock music)
"Why?"
I luckily still can remember I'm pregnant.
(Jessica laughs)
But half a teaspoon, you could be doing
the wet things darling, in the mixing bowl.
Well, you're the one in charge of this episode.
- Oh, okay.
No, no, "In the bowl of your electric mixer,
"beat the butter and coconut oil."
Our mini scale, fabulous!
Fabulous darling - Clara gave us that one.
- Oh, Clara and Evelina gave us this scale,
when they deserted the island, ran back to mainland.
- To remind us how empty and light we felt without them.
(Jessica cries)
That's not right, lightness implies-
- I understand it.
(Claudia laughs) - Yeah, that's maybe
a good thing, not that they were a heavy burden.
- It's okay, I get it, it's fine.
- Okay, I'll stop talking.
(Claudia laughs) - Everyone gets it,
we're bereft without them.
- How do you weigh- - And if you completely
missed that, Cara and Evelina were our really good friends
and then they went to go live in Spain,
because Clara's from Spain.
And then like Brexit, and COVID, and a variety
of other reasons, and they wanna have a baby,
which is, you know, fab but also, sadness.
- Right, back to my recipe.
(gentle jazz music)
For some reason it says "Whisk together these ingredients,"
but I don't think you can really whisk
dry ingredients together.
- Who is whisking rolled oats?
- You're meant to be beating the butter
and coconut oil on medium speed until creamy.
Four tablespoons of coconut oil.
(boings)
- [Jessica] Hey!
(Both laugh) - I can't.
It's too much for my brain!
Multitasking.
Mix until creamy, I don't know how many times
I've said that, sorry.
(mixer whirs)
(gentle jazz music)
One-and-a-half cups. (bag slams)
Well, did you know, this is one kilo,
and the baby, apparently, is about two kilos right now.
- Yeah!
- So, there are like two of those, in me,
well, not two of those, one, but a cumulative would be
that two of the weights of those.
I'd fill it up a bit though, whoa!
(Jessica laughs) - Okay, whoo!
- And beat on medium to high speed until fluffy.
Okay!
(mixer whirs)
That just goes on for four to five minutes.
Oh, we need an egg and an egg yolk.
- I love making stuff so much, it is so fun!
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- Right, what's next darling?
- Why are you asking me?
You walked off to go look at the recipe.
- Did I put sugar in?
Yeah, well, I measured it out, didn't I?
- You put the sugar in, the sugar happened.
- Yes, definitely happened.
Two teaspoons of vanilla extract.
- Two teaspoons, Jesus, that's more like a lot.
- And then, ooh the best bit,
one-and-a-half cups of chocolate chips or chunks.
I've only got not even a cup's worth.
- Oh yeah, just go ahead, break up some actual chocolate,
see what happens.
Put the chocolate in.
(mixes whirs)
Successful.
You know, there's a new "Fast and Furious" movie
coming out this summer.
- Is there?
- Yes!
- Yeah, it says, "Feel free to add one to two tablespoons
"of almond butter," so let's do that.
- To my eye, this looks a little dry.
- Okay. - As a mixture.
- It says, "Use ice cream scoop."
- Hey, we have an ice cream scoop.
- To make regular sizes and put it on a baking sheet,
and then you either put that in the oven,
for 10 to 14 minutes, if you want them now,
or you freeze them on the baking sheet,
and once they're in the frozen shape,
then you can put them in a Ziploc bag,
and then when you want to have them,
you can take individual ones out and cook them
for 12 minutes.
- Well, fabulous, let's do that.
(mixer whirs)
(upbeat jazz music)
- I think that's fairly well mixed.
(upbeat jazz music)
(paper crunches)
(upbeat jazz music)
- Okay, so, we made the cookies, put them in the oven,
and then-
- And the timer went off at the correct time
that it says that you should correct them for,
10 to 12 minutes, what did you set it as?
10 or 12 minutes?
- 12 minutes. - 12, so she went
for the longer side.
Then she decided to take it out and poke it-
- Well, to be fair, so I opened the door,
and then I poked my finger in it,
because I wanted to see whether it was done,
and my finger just sunk right in,
it just went- - And I said to her,
"That's what cookies do, they're soft."
- It sunk right in. - No one likes
an overdone cookie.
Anyway- - I don't think I've eaten
a cookie since I was five.
- You just saw me eat one.
- So I put it back in the oven-
- She left it in. - Was just gonna leave it
for two more minutes.
- And then she'll argue that she was then helping me
with some technical issues.
- I will!
Because Claudia was like, "Jessica, how do I do this?"
But then instead of two minutes, it took-
- And then I was like, "Didn't that timer
"go off ages ago?"
She's like, "Yeah."
I was like, "It was literally probably about
"six minutes later."
Anyway, they were probably in there for like 20 minutes.
(cookie snaps)
That is a biscuit. (Jessica laughs)
You're meant to be able to see the chocolate chips,
and they're meant to be all gooey!
- I'm so sorry darling.
I mean, I guess it's called "Baking Bad"
for a reason, right?
(cookie snaps)
(cookie crunches)
The flavor's there, but it's incredibly dry.
(Jessica laughs)
When you cook the next batch,
just follow the actual instructions.
- It's fine, it's fine, we've got plenty of dough,
nicely frozen, and when you become a rabidly hungry monster-
- I'm warning you. - Who's breastfeeding a child,
screaming at me that you need calories-
- You've got it right. - Which she already did
before pregnancy. - Otherwise, I will
knock you out with these cookies.
(both laugh)
What is this?
A really nice cookie, in my opinion,
it's still the same color as cookie dough.
- What?
- Ugh!
- So thanks for joining us for another episode
of "Baking Bad", where at least we discovered the problem
with our baking quite quickly.
- I don't know why you're putting me in this,
it was all your fault.
(Jessica laughs)
- It was my fault, I will accept full
and total responsibility for this one.
It's totally on me.
However, if you would like to learn
some actually good skills that you can perhaps
actually use in your life, for useful things,
then I really do suggest that you click
the top link in my description and go visit Skillshare,
where the first 1,000 people to click the link
will get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership,
oh my goodness.
That does indeed sound good.
And for everyone else, it's just $10 a month,
really actually not that bad when you come
to skill building, like a sim,
I'd like to skill build like a sim,
I think it'd just be easier that way,
you know, if you could get a good track of your progress.
Again, thank you so much for watching.
Remember to subscribe if you haven't already,
that's just the little red button down there below,
you'll see a join one next to it.
(Jessica gasps)
If you click join, you'll find out how you can become
a part of the Kellgren-Fozard Club,
which is a special members only club
where you get access to behind the scenes videos
and a whole load of lovely other little goodies,
and I really do appreciate my KF Clubbies so, so much,
because you guys are going to be my maternity leave,
so I can actually look after this one,
because funny enough, YouTube does not
offer maternity leave.
Wow, amazing.
So I can look after my little wife and kiddo.
- And apparently not bake. - And make my cookies.
- Okay, I will make these cookies,
and I will make so many of them,
some of them have got to be good.
- Until next time.
- See you in our next video.
(Jessica smooches)
- Bye! - Bye.
Today's Kellgren-Fozard Club question comes from Anna,
"As soon as you're allowed to fly, will you go and visit
"Evelina and Clara?"
Yes, we are hoping that they will be able
to come and stay with us first,
while the baby is still quite little,
and then we'll go and visit them when the baby
is a few months old and we're a bit more
confident with trips.
You know, we'll start with cafes first probably.