Have a seat.
Thanks for being here today.
I want to talk to you about the universe,
and how we're all connected.
And I know you're thinking to yourself, Ellen, are you high?
Yes, but that's beside the point.
Have you ever been thinking about something, and then
someone mentions the exact same thing you were just
thinking about?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm talking about like when you--
I'm not talking about, like, silly things.
I'm talking, like, serious things.
Not like when you're thinking about a crock pot,
and then you see on your phone an ad for a crock pot.
That's the CIA using Alexa to spy on you.
I mean, when you have the same thoughts as someone else.
Portia and I have the same thoughts all the time.
We're becoming the same person.
I think it happens when you spend enough time with one
another or you're lesbians.
But the other day, I had this song lyric
that was stuck in my head.
It's everybody's changing, but I still feel the same.
It's a song by Keane.
And it's a random song and that's an older song.
Hadn't listened to it in forever, but I heard it.
So it's stuck in my head.
And then I'm at work a few days later--
actually, the next morning.
So she was still in Montecito.
I'm here.
And I'm in a meeting.
And I'm totally paying attention to Instagram.
So I had my phone.
And suddenly a text comes in from Portia.
And she says, who sings that song everybody's changing
and I still feel the same?
[CROWD GASPS]
I know.
You can imagine my mind was blown.
And it happens all the time to us.
It's crazier that I looked up the lyrics,
and it's actually everybody's changing
but I don't feel the same.
So we both had the same song with the same wrong lyrics.
And we both then talked about it and said,
it's actually but I-- anyway, we both were like,
oh, yeah, it was a wrong lyric.
Anyway, we have so much fun together, her and I.
So I did some googling.
And this is another meeting I was in.
And it turns out there's something
called brain coupling, which means you can literally
be on the same wavelength as somebody else
when you connect with someone.
And I feel like I have connections with us.
When we're in the audience, when you're in the audience,
and I'm here, and we're doing this show,
I feel like I could connect with people.
And so I'm going to--
you're looking at-- you in the-- yeah.
You looking at-- no, no.
You.
Yes.
What's your name?
Ariana.
I knew you were going to say that.
OK.
Ariana.
The way you were looking at me just now,
you were really intent, looking at me.
Not that everybody wasn't, but you were just really looking
at me like, I know you're going to pick me.
Right?
Did you know I was going to pick you?
No.
Yes, you did.
You did.
OK.
First of all, are you a lesbian?
No.
OK.
It's still going to work.
It's still-- it's fine.
OK.
All right.
So I'm going to think of a soup, and you're
going to think of a soup.
OK?
All right.
On the count of three, let's say a soup.
One, two, three, vegetable.
Chicken noodle soup.
It's OK.
Well, you're not a lesbian.
I'll pick somebody else.
OK.
Do you want to play?
OK.
What's your name?
Ariana.
[LAUGHTER]
Her name is Ariana.
And I pick you, and your name is Ariana?
Is everybody here named Ariana?
Wow.
That's crazy.
That's not a common name, is it?
No.
Wow.
Where do you live, Ariana?
In Garden Grove.
Garden Grove.
Where do you live?
LA.
And what do you do?
I'm a speech therapist.
Speech therapist.
What do you do?
I'm a nurse assistant.
But you talk, right?
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
Wow, that's crazy.
All right.
That's really crazy.
All right.
Now, let's think of a color.
OK?
All right.
On the count of three.
One, two, three, blue.
Purple.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
Let's find somebody else?
I'm going to go over on this side over here.
Let's see.
The woman here with whichever where I'm pointing,
in that area.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
You.
OK.
What's your name?
Not Ariana, Emily.
Emily.
OK.
This might work, then.
I think it's the Ariana stuff.
I'm going to think of a number.
OK?
Between one and three.
All right.
Ready?
One, two, three.
Three.
Two.
[LAUGHTER]
Why would you ruin it?
Wait, did it include one and three?
I said between one and three.
[LAUGHTER]