Florida- 27th state of the United States, with a population of 21.48 million. It's nickname is
the Sunshine State, but in truth, Florida is far more popular for the insanity of its inhabitants
than for its warm sunlit beaches. Odds are even if you aren't from the United States, you've heard
your fair share of insane Florida Man stories, and we've done our best to round up some of the
truly craziest examples of why Florida should maybe be turned into a giant alligator preserve.
Florida Man Doesn't Get Straw, Attacks McDonald's Employee
In 2018 most of the world woke up to the humongous waste of plastic that is drinking straws,
and decided that enough sea turtles had been murdered in their name. Plastic drinking straw
bans went into effect across the United States, with various levels of enforcement. In Florida,
the law required individuals to ask for a straw, but when Daniel Taylor went to reach
for a straw in the condiment bar, he flew into a rage upon discovering there were none to be had.
An employee explained that customers now had to ask for straws, only for Taylor to respond
by grabbing the employee by the shirt and dragging her onto the counter.
After getting punched in the face, Taylor left the restaurant, only to return later
and make his displeasure over the new straw law known by kicking an employee in the stomach.
Taylor would go on to get arrested and charged with two counts of battery.
Florida Man Wears F The Cops Shirt To Court, Wins Case
In 2014 a Florida man was pulled over by a State Trooper and ticketed for a sticker that
the trooper claims was obstructing view of the license plate. The man
claimed that he was simply being harassed for recording cops forcing people to move
their parked cars at a popular pullover spot by Highway 27 for no good reason.
The man fought his ticket as he had promised the issuing officer that he'd do,
but turned heads when he showed up to court with a t-shirt reading
F The Police- with the entire F word spelled out. Incredibly the judge ruled in favor of the man,
stating that the cops had not met the burden of proof required to ticket the man.
Florida Man Uses Private Plane To Draw Giant Penis On Radar
This next story is pretty self-explanatory. Aviation fans checking the website FlightRadar24,
where civilians can track the flight paths of airplanes all over the world,
were shocked to discover a pilot in a private plane flying a track that on radar looked like
a giant penis. Some speculated that it all might have been a giant coincidence,
but the track is far too perfectly a penis for it to be anything but purposeful
Florida Man Charged With Assault With Deadly Weapon After Throwing
Alligator Through Wendy's Drive-Thru Window
Ok, here's another one that's pretty self-explanatory. In 2016 Joshua
James found an alligator on the side of the road,
because Florida is basically the Australia of the United States only less dangerous.
Apparently unhappy with his drive-thru experience at a local Wendy's, James made his
displeasure known by throwing the live alligator through the window and into the restaurant.
After being arrested, James was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon-
the weapon being of course the airborne alligator. He also picked
up lesser charges for illegally killing, possessing, or capturing an alligator,
as well as second-degree larceny petit theft for the soft drink he didn't pay for.
After a court appearance, James was told to limit his contact with animals to his mother's dog,
undergo a mental health evaluation, and avoid possessing any weapons.
To include other throwable reptiles we're assuming.
Floridians Warned Not To Shoot Guns At Hurricane Irma
It started as a joke on Facebook, a public event
asking people to shoot their guns at hurricane Irma in order to stop the storm in its tracks.
The event drew so much attention from all across the state however that authorities
felt a desperate need to step in and beg people to act sane for a change. The Pasco
County Sheriff's office was forced to tweet the following: “To clarify, DO NOT shoot
weapons at Irma. You won't make it turn around and it will have very dangerous side effects.”
We get that the whole thing had become a viral joke,
but just how bad is Florida's science education that a Sheriff's department
felt the need to explain that bullets don't make hurricanes turn around?
Florida Man Wears Clear Plastic Bag As Disguise To Rob Gamestop
Ok, this next one proves that even if you don't live in Florida, you're not safe from
Florida Man. In 2018 Kerry Hammond crossed the Georgia border and attempted to rob a Gamestop.
How did he disguise his identity in order to pull off the crime of the century? Hammond
decided to throw a plastic water bottle wrapper over his head and call it a day. The best part:
he wore it so that his face was looking out through the clear sides of the packaging,
giving security cameras a perfect shot of his face.
Needless to say Hammond was arrested shortly after his theft. (
Florida Man Arrested For Breaking Into Jail To Hangout With Friends
Friends are a great thing, we here at the infographics consider all of you
our friends. If you get thrown in jail and expect us to miss you bad enough to come break you out,
you can forget about it though.
Perhaps feeling the spirit of the season, 24 year old Patrick Rempe
just wanted to visit with his friends for the holidays- forget trying to break them out,
Rempe just wanted to hang out. When he was refused entry at the main door, Rempe rammed
his car into it repeatedly, and failing that, decided to climb one of two exterior fences.
Upon reaching the top of the fence though, Rempe became entangled in the barbed wire,
and as officers dragged him down- very painfully we might add- Rempe decided to thank them by
getting into a fistfight. Rempe ultimately would get his wish as he was charged with aggravated
assault and battery on a law enforcement officer, three counts of felony criminal mischief, leaving
the scene of a crash with property damage, and surprise surprise, driving under the influence.
What influence though? Well, turns out Rempe was motivated less by holiday
spirit and more by the synthetic and extremely dangerous drug, Flakka.
Florida Man Denies Drinking While Driving, Says Only Drank At Stop Signs
By now we've established that Florida is basically
the United State's alcoholic uncle with an undiagnosed mental disorder.
At least when America's drunk uncle imbibes, he does so responsibly though.
After hitting the bumper of the lady in front of him at a McDonald's drive-thru several times,
police pulled over Earle Gustavas Stevens on suspicion of drunk driving. Police found
Stevens marinating in liquor, with a bottle of Jim Beam sitting next to him on the passenger's seat.
As he was being arrested for drunk driving, Stevens protested that he had in fact
not been drinking and driving, as he had only drunk his Jim Beam at red lights and stop signs.
Despite Steven's obvious concern for the letter of the law,
he was inevitably arrested and charged with a DUI.
Florida Man Arrested After Assaulting Girlfriend With Cooked Chicken
In 2018 23 year old Juwan Brown got into a fight with his live-in girlfriend. In the heat of the
moment, Brown stepped on his girlfriend's foot on purpose, prompting her to push him away. In
retaliation, Brown turned to the only weapon within reach- a piece of cooked chicken. The
thrown piece of chicken hit the girlfriend on the face, and shortly after police were called.
Brown would be freed on bond and ordered to have no contact with the defendant,
but our favorite part of this story- other than, you know,
assault with chicken- is the statement that police released after the incident:
“We do not have information on the way the piece of chicken was prepared.”
Oh Florida, never stop being you.
Florida Man With No Arms Stabs Tourist
In 2018 Jonathan Crenshaw, a homeless man with no arms known for his artwork that he creates
with his feet, was approached by 22-year old Cesar Coronado. Details are sketchy,
with both Coronado and his girlfriend claiming that upon stopping to ask Crenshaw for directions,
Coronado was immediately stabbed with a pair of scissors held in Crenshaw's feet.
For his part, Crenshaw denies that he instigated the incident,
instead claiming that Coronado had attacked him first. Crenshaw,
who has a violent history with police, was later arrested and charged with aggravated battery.
Florida Man Arrested For Practicing Karate On Swans
At 9:30 AM on April 26th, 2018, Rocco Joseph Mantella was spotted by witnesses engaging
in an early morning workout. As an avid karate fan, Mantella began his morning workout routine
by chasing swans and then kicking them in the face. A witness would claim that he spotted
Mantella practicing karate by kicking one swan in the head, and then another on the butt.
It seems that when he ran out of swans to spar with, Mantella turned his attention onto
a sleeping duck, which he also karate kicked. Police were promptly called and perhaps most
surprisingly of all, Mantella was arrested and found to not be under the influence of any drugs,
though he was charged with cruelty to animals.
Florida Man Attacks Homeless Man, Tries To Eat His Face
It was the zombie-like attack that kicked off the bath salts global scare,
and where else would it have happened but Florida? No, seriously, this is the only
place where this level of insanity could have possibly manifested and warned the
world of a new drug craze that threatened to turn its users into cannibal zombies.
On the morning of May 26th, 2012, 31 year old Rudy Eugene was driving into Miami Beach for the Urban
Beach Week festival when his car broke down. After spending a half hour by his disabled vehicle,
Eugene ditched the car and walked along the highway on foot. Apparently high on
numerous unidentified substances- the only positive identification being marijuana-
Eugene began to remove his clothing as he walked, eventually ending up naked
save for his shoes and a bible. The bible and shoes however would quickly be discarded,
and shortly afterwards Eugene ran into 65 year old homeless man Ronald Poppo.
According to Poppo, Eugene was friendly at first,
knowing Poppo from the work that he had done with the homeless community earlier that year.
However, the now naked Eugene suddenly accused Poppo of having stolen his bible
and launched a vicious attack against him. In the course of the attack Eugene would tear
off Poppos pants and then proceed to gouge out his eyes and bite off 75-80% of Poppo's face.
Upon being warned by police to stop his attack, Eugene simply growled at the responding officer
and began to bite at Poppo again, continuing his attack even after being shot. Eventually after
being shot four more times the police were able to pull Eugene off the mangled Poppo.
A toxicology report revealed very little other than marijuana in Eugene's system,
though a prominent toxicologist warned that the test administered wasn't looking for very
many potential drugs that Eugene could have been imbibing. With the zombie-like psychotic
behavior reminiscent of individuals high on bath salts, it's thought that this may
have been behind Eugene's psychotic break and subsequent cannibal attack.
Either way if it was going to happen anywhere, it was definitely going to be in Florida.
And there you have it, a definite list of all the reasons that Florida is America's
mentally deranged alcoholic uncle- super fun to hear stories about,
but an absolute nightmare at family gatherings. And presidential elections.
Now watch insane ways people have faked their own death, or check out this other video instead!