Canada is going to ban single-use plastics.
And this is a really bold step and a necessary one.
But is the U.S. capable of such action?
Well, Ronny Chieng filed this report
from the front lines of the plastic wars.
Here in America, we use straws for everything:
drinking, snorting cocaine...
Okay. Just those two things. But still, that's not nothing.
Yet recently, local governments across the nation
have been challenging our God-given right to bear straws.
Straws represent only .02%
of the nine million tons
of plastic waste that is estimated.
People would like to keep the plastic straw, just saying.
CHIENG: Conservative Big Bird actually has a point here.
So I headed to Washington, D.C.,
the latest city to ban straws,
to meet Lillian, an environmental inspector.
Her actual job is to go into local businesses
and make sure they're not using plastic straws.
That's right, she's a straw cop.
So what do you hope to accomplish
by banning something that's like,
0.000000000-z-z-z-z-z-01%
of our trash?
You know, that's good question.
Um, it's a perfect symbol for our-our overuse
and dependence on single-use plastics,
-and they're fair play. -So what am I supposed to do?
If I don't use straws what do you want me to do?
Do you want me to do this?
Yes, absolutely. That's what I would love.
CHIENG: Lillian explained that over 40%
of all plastic manufacturing is single use,
throwaway items that will take somewhere between
450 years and forever to disappear.
But still, why are people suddenly so angry about straws?
Why do you hate straws so much?
What did straws ever do to you?
I think that really started with the straw video,
the plastic straw getting stuck up the sea turtle's nose.
It has over 35 million views on YouTube.
CHIENG: Wait, this is all because of a dumb viral video?
Look, I've seen a lot of shit on YouTube.
How bad could this be?
Turns out really (bleep) bad.
(Chieng groaning)
Okay, okay. I'm done. No more straws.
But the video did leave me with one burning question:
If I stick a straw up my nose,
I could get 35 million views on YouTube?
I can't guarantee that.
You know, people might not connect
-with seeing a person, -(grunting)
-a full-grown adult, -(grunting)
with a straw up their nose
the same way they connect with a sea turtle.
-(groaning) -I wouldn't go further.
(grunts) Nope. Nope, that's stuck.
Nope-- I'm...
Uh...
Okay, so, uh, tell me what you do on a day-to-day basis.
Turns out that turtle was not faking it.
We actually go out and do some random inspections,
-and we talk to business owners -(coughing)
about the new rules,
-and how to come into compliance with them. -Whoa.
(panting)
That sounds great.
It was time for me to hit the streets
and shadow Lillian on an actual straw raid.
First step, case the joint.
Clear, clear, clear, clear, clear, clear, clear.
All right, clear.
So once we enter a business,
usually we kind of take a look around, right.
We want to see if we can see any straws.
Straw racial profiling, yep.
Yeah, I mean, we're looking at the straws, you know,
What race is, uh, more likely to use straws?
definitely not the people.
CHIENG: Next, look for contraband.
Great. Okay. That's excellent.
-So these are absolutely in compliance. -Paper straws.
CHIENG: Turns out, this guy was clean,
at least for today.
But I knew things were about to get real
when we hit the mother lode--
a coffee shop with enough plastic nose candy
to take down Nemo's whole goddamn reef.
-But it looks like these are plastic, right? -Yeah.
So you are currently out of compliance.
CHIENG: That's right. You're busted.
And now the straw cops are gonna make you pay.
-Right now we haven't switched yet, -Okay. Mm-hmm.
-but we are in the process of switching. -Oh, whenever.
Oh, really? Th-That's convenient.
Just happen to be switching when we walk in. Okay.
-I'm sorry. -Um...
-So what I'm gonna do today -I got it.
is I'm just gonna give you a warning letter of sorts.
-Okay. -Wait. What do you mean, "warning letter"?
So Lillian just walks around warning businesses?
That's it. I'm taking the lead on this investigation.
Hut!
Straw, straw, straw, straw.
We've got a straw over here.
Are you crazy? Gonna pull out a straw
-in front of a straw cop? -Sorry.
-Is this yours, sir? Who's straw is this? -Mine.
Straw! Straw over here.
Sorry, false alarm.
It's fine. It's paper.
♪ ♪
Dispatch, uh, we are entering premises, over.
See that guy over there
in the black hoodie.
I'm just gonna go ask him a few questions.
Oh, oh. He's going. He's going. Go, go, go, go, go.
Straw police! Straw police!
Drop the (bleep) straw!
Get on the ground, mother (bleep).
But despite the successful raid, Lillian wasn't happy.
Yeah, that was absolutely useless
in getting people to come into compliance.
Well, let's agree to disagree.
Yeah, it takes a lot of time and energy,
and those one-on-one conversations
to really enact real change.
CHIENG: Okay, change people's minds
through constructive conversations. I can do that.
Do you know how many (bleep) turtles are dying in the ocean
'cause they have straws up their nose?
Why? Because mother (bleep) can't seem
to drink from cups without straws.
Just put the cup to your mouth!
Just put the cup to your mouth, that's it.
You don't need a middleman.
Do you know how much damage this could do to an dolphin's anus.
An oyster could eat this and suffocate to death.
It's like you guys don't even care.
Sir, you need to go before I call the police.
Yo, you can't call the police, we are the police.
-Guys! Guys! Guys! -We are the police.
We are the police. Show her your badge.
-No, we're not the police. -Show her your badge.
-Yeah, we're not the police. -Show her your badge now.
She has a badge. Show her the badge.
CHIENG: After a successful conversation,
we voluntarily left the restaurant.
I come back, I see any plastic straws in here,
I'm burning this whole (bleep) place to the ground.
And, hey, if a restaurant can ban me
just for doing my job,
how hard can it be
to ban straws?
(cheers and applause)
Ronny Chieng, everybody.