Hey YouTube, Brad Browning here.
I’m a relationship coach from western Canada and today I’m going to share with you some
subtle signs that your marriage is falling apart.
The thing is, when problems start to creep into a marriage, they’re not always obvious.
Though most people think of screaming matches or divorce threats, there are actually many
more subtle signs to be weary of.
Before I go ahead and share with you the top eight things to look for, I’d like to take
a moment to tell you about a helpful online quiz that will let you know your odds for
saving your marriage, and will also give you advice for what you should do next.
To take the quiz go to www.marriageguy.com/quiz.
Now, let’s get started.
1.
Your focus has switched from “us” to “I”
When you and your spouse first got together you were probably in the “us” mindset.
You made plans together and worked around one another’s schedules.
While it’s normal for the “honeymoon” stage to end and for spouses to slip into
their own personal routines, if your collective mindset has switched from “us” to “I”
then it’s a sure sign that your marriage has some underlying issues.
2.
Your spouse is not to your go-to person
There was likely a time when your spouse was the person you went to for everything.
Whether it was someone to vent to, or someone to share your daily stories with, he or she
was THAT person for you.
If either of you have started turning to others then it could be because your communication
is lacking.
Remember, it takes openness and honesty for your marriage to be healthy and go the distance.
If this isn’t happening then it could be a sign that your love life is in trouble.
3.
You’re comparing your spouse to others
If you find yourself comparing your spouse to others, or wishing they were more like
someone else, then it’s a sure sign that you’re not totally happy in your marriage.
Even if it’s hypothetical, once these kind of thoughts some creeping in it’s time to
take a step back and look for whatever issues are causing you to feel this way.
4.
You’re living separate lives
He goes out with his buddies every night after work.
She spends her weekends hanging with her lady friends.
If you and your spouse are living two completely separate lives then it’s a sure sign that
your marriage isn’t in a healthy place.
While it’s important that you and your spouse have your own things on the go, it’s also
important that your individual lives don’t overtake your life as a married couple.
5.
You’re wondering “what if”
Contemplating what your life would be life if you made different decisions is normal.
However, if you’re constantly asking yourself what life without your spouse would be like,
then it’s a sign that something is up.
Happily married couples can’t imagine life without their partner, which is why this is
a warning that something isn’t right.
To find out how deep your marital issues run visit www.marriageguy.com/quiz and take the
free online test.
Based on your results, you’ll also receive feedback for what you should be doing to turn
your marriage around.
Again, the URL is www.marriageguy.com/quiz.
6.
You’re keeping score
Have you or your spouse been keeping tabs on who does what?
Say for instance, one of you is making more of an effort to spend time together, or is
trying harder to make the other happy.
Or, on the other hand, maybe one of you has been noting all the things the other does
“wrong.”
When marriages become a tally of who the better spouse is, then it may be a way for that spouse
to convince themselves that you shouldn’t be together.
After all, marriage is about teamwork, not rivalry.
7.
You’re roommates, not lovers
While it’s important to be friends with your spouse, if your relationship feels more
like a friendship then a marriage it’s a sign that something is missing.
Yes, it’s great to be able to order in a pizza and watch Netflix together, but unless
there’s some sort of deeper bond then it may be time to take a step back and evaluate
your relationship.
A good sign to look for here is if you and your spouse have to put on an act and pretend
to be a happy, loving family around others.
If you’re faking it, then that’s a huge red flag that your marriage is in trouble.
8.
You’re not fighting… or loving.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this video, often times couples don’t realize that their
marriage has issues if they haven’t been arguing or fighting.
The truth is though, that even if you and your spouse are getting along swimmingly,
if you’re not loving each other then your marriage may be falling apart.
What’s worse is if you’re not fighting because you’re bottling up your emotions.
When this happens resentment starts to build and before you know it you’re a firecracker
just waiting to be lit.
That’s why it’s so important to take the time to check in with your emotions and remember,
just because all appears well on the outside, doesn’t mean it really is...
Well, that just about does it for this video, as always, thanks so much for watching.
If you have any questions about what I’ve covered here feel free to post those in the
comments section below, I always love hearing from you guys.
Also, if you like what you learned here and would like to show your support for my channel
you can do so by subscribing and checking out more of my relationship advice videos.
So, until next time take care and all the best!