It gets in the way of almost everything that we do. How do you change negative
thinking? In today's video, we're moving past all of the trite fluffy answers
that you've heard to this and we're getting down to the science. I am so
happy you figured out that it's even a choice. For you to come to this video and
ask the question "How do you change negative thinking?" implies something.
Check it out. You understand that it can be changed.
That's huge. Because most people don't even realize
that. They don't see it as a choice. We're starting with something that I call
metacognition. You've heard me mention it if you've been here on the channel very
long. Metacognition is thinking about thinking. That's a higher level. Notice
that you can do this. That is HUGE. It's very important because in thinking
about your own thinking, you create a little space. And in that space is where
choice exists. Until we see it as a choice, it's not. Negative thinking gets
in our way all of the time. Notice that you're doing it. And that will put you on
the path to changing it. Here's a little exercise that you can do to enhance your
ability to engage in that metacognition. Take a moment to just clear your mind. I
know. That's easier said than done because it's pretty noisy in there. But
if you could just clear your mind for a moment and have no thoughts going
on at all for just a moment and then ask yourself this question:
"I wonder what thought I'll have next." And then just notice what happens. Become an
observer of your own thoughts. It's really interesting. I do this exercise
with some of my clients at the office. If I'm coaching someone around
metacognition and I'll take them through this. "I wonder what thought I'll have
next." And the first time you try that it's like, "Oh, that was weird. I don't know
what I was supposed to think." Well, you're not supposed to think anything. Just
clear your mind and see what happens. "I wonder what thought I'll have next." And
then watch and see what happens. The interesting thing that most of my
clients notice is that there's a brief period here. Sometimes it's brief,
sometimes it's a little longer where it's quiet in there.
It's quiet in there. What? Because usually it's really noisy in there. "All of these
negative thoughts or all of these stressful things that I keep thinking of."
Well, when you take the time to observe your thinking, you'll find that there's a
little bit of peace in there naturally. And then you wait around for that next
thought to come. That's a powerful exercise. Just try it a few times and see
what happens. This brings up a really interesting issue. Do you have to think
what you've been thinking? Wow! When you start to observe your thoughts,
this question becomes relevant. And before you think about your thinking,
you're just rolling with whatever you're thinking. And either your thoughts will
drive you or you will drive your thoughts. Let's get on the driving end of
that thing so that we can actually impact what kind of thoughts were going
to have. So, that question: "Do I have to keep thinking these negative things?"
Interesting question. And until you ask that question, you're going to continue
rolling with whatever you're used to. This is because of a concept that I call
neural pathways. Neural pathways are like your brain's autopilot cruise control.
And you'll continue to do whatever you've practiced unless you make an
intentional choice to do something else. And that's where we're going next. There
are actually 2 important processes that will help to put you in control
over your thinking more than you have been in the past and get rid of the
negative thinking replace it with positive thinking. And there's 2 levels
where we do this. Evaluation and creation. Think of it as judgment and
prediction. Your thoughts are constantly judging your circumstances. Just notice
it, okay? You don't have to turn it off. I don't think you really can. But notice
that you judge yourself, your family, your spouse, your co-workers, your
circumstances, your finances. You're constantly judging. You're judging me!
It's all right. I'm judging you. We can't turn it off. It's part of what our mind
does. Just notice that it's happening. Now, that judgment can be either positive or
negative. Here's a trick question for you: How you doing? All right. Now, I said it
was a trick question but notice that you have an answer to that. Are you doing
well? Are you doing poorly? How are you going to judge how you're doing? I called
that a trick question because whatever you decide about how you're doing is a
judgment. And notice this: It could always be better, right? And when you compare how
you're doing to something better, how do you feel about how you're doing? Pretty
bad. On the other hand, if you compare how you're doing to something worse then how
do you feel about how you're doing? Well, feel pretty good about it compared to
something worse. Just notice that you're doing it. And I'm not here to tell you
how to think. I don't have that kind of authority. I just want you to see that
you are. So, notice that you're making a judgment. You with me? Do you have to
judge it negatively? Do you have to judge it positively? No, that's up to you. That's
where your choice is. You don't always get to decide what it is, okay? Have you
noticed some things just happen? But you always get to decide or choose how you
judge it compared to something better or compared to something worse. Just notice
it. Positive judgment brings about positive energy. And we're going to need
for the next step. I told you that there's 2 phases to this --evaluation
and creation. Or judgment and prediction. So, the next part of our thinking that
we're going to rid of negativity is prediction. Do you know what's going to
happen? How are you doing next week? You don't know. You've got something to do
with it. Please don't forget that. But you don't know. So, all you can do is predict
it in your thoughts or your imagination. How do you feel when you predict or
expect or anticipate that what's coming for you is worse than what you've
already got? That my friends is anxiety. There's like 3 decades of clinical
experience in a nutshell. Anxiety is when we imagine or predict that what's coming
is worse than what we've already got. It creates some feelings. Just notice that.
How do you feel when you imagine because you don't know. Or predict or expect that
what's coming is even better than what you've already got? How do you feel? That
is hope. We set ourselves up for prediction by how we judge where we are
in the first place. So, positivity is all about choosing how we are doing those
2 processes. Judgment and prediction. Evaluation and creation. They're both
going on all the time in our mind. And we have some power to direct that. To steer
it in a direction that's positive. We all want to be more positive. I think it's
important to understand what negative thinking does to our brain. Watch that
video next. I think it's going to be very eye-opening. And if you're ready to move
forward with more of your positive thinking, spend more time on the positive
personal development playlist right here on the channel. We've got you covered.