Heya playa, have you ever been in a conversation with someone that you
like and you wanted to take it up a notch and make it more intimate
but you didn't really know how without coming off kind of weird and awkward?
Don't worry, in this video, I'm gonna walk you through exactly what to say and do to make that
conversation a bit more spicy, a bit more fun, and a bit more intimate between you and your crush.
What is it like to be more intimate in a conversation though?
Does that mean being a lot more flirty?
A lot more sexual in what you send them and say?
Or just sharing your feelings a whole lot more?
Intimacy is kind of a mix of all of those things.
When you're talking to someone that you like, you want there to be a high level of intimacy.
You want that person to see you in a romantic light, to want to explore those areas with you,
to grow and learn, to see how you guys are compatible and how you really connect.
And I think the most common mistake that people tend to make is they focus
way too heavily on the sexual part.
Whether that's sending sexy photos, sending sexy messages,
or just describing things in great sexual detail.
"So, when I meet you later at your place what do you want to do?"
"Well I figured we can *BLEEP* and then I can *BLEEP* and then we can *BLEEP*" and then *BLEEP*"
"Oh wow"
I totally get it, you want to be physically intimate with this person and you're super
horny but sending incredibly sexualized messages like that is actually going to be a turn-off.
What you're doing is you're showing them that you only see them for a sum of their body parts.
You want to be physically intimate with them but you're kind of negating
the rest of who they are and what they bring to the table.
And there's definitely a time and place for messages like that,
it's just not at the very beginning when you're starting to get closer to that person.
Here's what I recommend.
If you want to build intimacy with the person that you like,
let it be a gradual story that builds up rather than a to-do list where you check things off.
When you look at things like a to-do list, every step along the process is its own individual task.
I want to hold her hand, I want to hug her, I want to kiss her, I want to make out with her,
and every step of the way all you're focused on doing is that physical thing.
And that really comes across in how you interact with them,
it becomes more mechanical and less authentic.
But if you focus on building out a story in your interaction,
what they start to see is that the two of you are on this journey together.
You're discovering things, you're learning, you're growing,
you're working up towards these bigger moments that both of you can enjoy.
"I had so much fun hanging out with you this weekend, I can't wait to see you again."
"Same here, I really felt the chemistry between us and I gotta say I don't know
if I'll be able to keep myself from kissing you next time I see you.
"Woah"
Role-playing can definitely help you build out that intimacy story.
Let them join you on the narrative of what you're looking forward to the next time you see them.
Get them hyped up, get them excited,
and discover what it is that they're looking forward to as well.
Another key piece to recognize when you're trying
to build that sexual intimacy is that less is often more.
You can write out a whole paragraph explaining why you think they're hot,
what you want to do to them, why you think their body's banging or you can use a few
emojis to kind of convey that same feeling and leave it more open-ended for them to interpret.
"This lighting makes me look smaller,
you know what instead I'm going to send her a picture of my bicep. Let's flex this bad boy."
"Oh my god, that's so hot. Have you been working out?
I so want to touch your arms next time I see you."
A little piece of advice here guys, don't send girls dick pics.
They don't like them, they find it weird and creepy
plus it doesn't help you build that intimacy story.
You're being so incredibly graphic in sending that picture you're just conveying the message:
"Hey, look at my schlong. I like my schlong. Do you like my schlong?"
And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention here that consent matters.
It can be tricky to navigate these waters as you're getting closer to
a girl you want to build that intimacy but you might be afraid that there might
be some backlash if you cross the line or do something that's really inappropriate.
I know there's a lot of guys out there that are worried about that.
There's this insane pressure in society for you to step up
and make the first move because you're the man
And sometimes when you do, it actually backfires on you so
the best way to protect yourself and to create an environment where the two of you
are on the same flow is to really focus on that consent piece.
And it doesn't have to be all weird and super technical,
you could just simply convey it in a text message when you're talking to them like this.
"Oh, my God what do you mean you're going to kiss
me the next time you see me? We barely know each other."
"I know, I just can't help it. Your face is so kissable so the next time we're hanging
out if we're just vibing along I might just have to go for one, is that cool with you?"
"Oh my god you're so crazy, I mean yeah. I guess."
You want this process to be enjoyable for the both of you, don't you?
So start taking those small steps.
Remember, everyone is at different stages so if that person is not used to messaging like this,
recognize their pace and start working at that level.
As you start to build out that intimacy story and the two of you start to exchange
more fun and flirty messages and pictures with each other, you're gonna get a real
sense really quickly of where they stand and how comfortable they are with you.
Now if you're curious about how to do things like go for the first kiss or make the first move,
check out the videos listed over here on the side.
Those are gonna help you out as well.
On that note guys, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.