- FOUR MILLION OF YOU HAVE SEEN OUR FIRST GUEST'S REACTION
TO GETTING HER WISDOM TEETH REMOVED.
TAKE A LOOK AT HER.
- I WANTED TO LOOK LIKE NICKI MINAJ WHEN I WOKE UP.
- YOU WANTED TO LOOK LIKE NICKI MINAJ?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- I JUST WANTED TO BE HER WHEN I WOKE UP.
I JUST WANTED TO HAVE HER BUTT.
AND HER FACE.
- WAIT.
- I JUST WANTED TO BE NICKI MINAJ WHEN I WOKE UP.
- BUT YOU GOT YOUR TEETH DONE.
- BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOOK LIKE NICKI MINAJ WHEN I WOKE UP.
- YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA LOOK LIKE NICKI MIN--
- I PAID A LOT OF MONEY.
- AND THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA DO?
- YEAH. - AW, MAN, I'M SORRY.
- AND I'M STILL WHITE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? - WHAT?
- ELLEN DEGENERES.
- YOU WANTED TO BE HER, TOO?
- NO, I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH HER.
- YOU WANNA MEET HER?
- NO, I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH HER.
- OKAY.
- I LOVE ELLEN.
- I DO, TOO.
- ELLEN DEGENERES
IS GENEROUS.
IT'S LITERALLY IN HER NAME.
AND I LOVE HER.
I WANNA GO ON HER SHOW,
AND I WANT HER TO GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE GIANT CHECKS
SO I CAN GO SHOPPING.
AND I WANNA HELP KIDS OR SOMETHING.
- SO YOU JUST WANNA GO ON HER SHOW TO GET A CHECK?
- NO, I WANNA GO ON HER SHOW TO MEET HER.
- AND BE HER FRIEND?
- I JUST WANNA--YEAH.
- MAYBE SOME DAY.
- DOUBT IT.
- FROM PROVO, UTAH, PLEASE WELCOME JAYCI UNDERWOOD.
HELLO, FRIEND.
HOW'S MY PAL?
- OH, I'M SO GOOD.
- OH, GOOD.
OKAY, SO...
YOU GOT YOUR WISDOM TEETH TAKEN OUT.
- I DID. - AND YOU DECIDED--
YOU WOKE UP AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE NICKI MINAJ.
- I DID. - YEP.
AND YOU WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND.
- SO BAD. - YEAH, WELL...
- [laughs] - LOOK, HERE WE ARE HANGING OUT.
I'M SORRY THAT YOU'RE NOT NICKI MINAJ AND YOU'RE STILL WHITE.
I APOLOGIZE. - IT'S OKAY.
- I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.
I CAN'T HELP YOU OUT.
AND WHAT DID YOU-- WHEN YOU SAW THAT VIDEO,
DID YOU SEE IT THE NEXT DAY,
OR WHEN DID YOUR HUSBAND SHOW YOU?
- YEAH, HE SHOWED ME THE NEXT DAY,
AND IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING.
I'M LIKE, DROOLING BLOOD,
AND I, LIKE, CAN'T TALK 'CAUSE THERE'S GAUZE IN MY MOUTH,
AND I'M SO OUT OF IT.
BUT WE LAUGHED AND...
[laughs]
I FEEL LIKE I WAS A GOOD SPORT ABOUT IT.
HE SHOWED EVERYBODY,
AND APPARENTLY EVERYBODY ELSE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY,
SO WE'LL SHOW OUR KIDS ONE DAY. - YEAH.
YEAH. - WE'LL LAUGH ABOUT IT.
- THAT'S HILARIOUS. SO MATT IS IN THE AUDIENCE.
HI, MATT, HOW ARE YOU? - HI.
- SO, OBVIOUSLY SHE'S HAD SURGERY BEFORE,
AND YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S LOOPY WHEN SHE COMES OUT.
- OH, YEAH, DEF-- I'VE SEEN A FEW OF HER SURGERIES
AND SHE'S ALWAYS COMING OUT WITH WEIRD STUFF.
BUT HER MOM ACTUALLY CALLED ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE THE SURGERY
'CAUSE SHE KNOWS HOW WEIRD SHE GETS.
- YEAH. - LIKE, "YOU HAVE TO FILM HER."
SO, UH...
ACTUALLY, THE BEST PART I DIDN'T EVEN GET ON FILM.
WE WERE DRIVING HOME, SO I SET UP THE IPAD,
AND I HAVE IT FILMED PERFECTLY AND WE START TALKING
AND SHE TELLS ME SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT LIFE.
AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY.
AND HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" SHE SAYS,
"TUPAC CAME TO ME IN A VISION."
[all laughing]
- HE'S LYING. - AND SHE SAYS.
"HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING." I SAID, "OKAY,
LIKE, WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?" SHE SAYS,
"I'VE BEEN SWORN TO SECRECY." SO...
SO THEN I ASKED A FEW MORE QUESTIONS
AND IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE NOAH CAME ON HIS ARK
WITH ALL HIS ANIMALS AND IT WAS GREAT.
BUT WE GOT HOME TO WATCH IT AFTERWARDS,
AND IT SAID THE MEMORY WAS FULL, SO I DIDN'T--
- OH, NO. - THERE'S ACTUALLY NO PROOF
TO ANY OF IT. - WOW.
- IT'S... - OH, NO.
- WELL, THAT'S SORT OF WHAT HAPPENED TO HER WITH TUPAC.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE PROOF TO TELL YOU, BUT...
- EXACTLY. - 'CAUSE HER MEMORY WAS FULL.
BUT I GUARANTEE TUPAC CAME TO HER.
- OH, TOTALLY. - I'M SURE THAT HAPPENED.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. YOU GET VISITED BY TUPAC
WHEN YOU--WHEN YOU GO UNDER.
AND HE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS.
SO I WANNA-- I CAN'T REALLY HELP YOU WITH--
AND NICKI'S NOT IN TOWN, OR ELSE I WOULD HAVE SURPRISED YOU
WITH NICKI. THAT'S WHAT I REALLY
WANTED TO DO. - [laughs]
- SHE'S NOT IN TOWN. BUT I DO WANNA HELP YOU OUT,
SO I HAVE SOMETHING THAT'LL HELP YOU FEEL LIKE NICKI.
- OH, MY--
- UM...
[audience cheers]
- [laughs]
THANK YOU. - YEAH.
- OKAY. - SO THERE'S THAT.
AND YOU CAN FEEL LIKE NICKI. - OH, MY GOD.
- AND THEN I WANT YOU TO-- YOU SAID IF YOU GOT A BIG CHECK
YOU WOULD HELP KIDS AND SHOP FOR KIDS.
SO I WANTED YOU TO HAVE
A CHECK FOR $20, AND YOU'RE GONNA...
- [laughs]
- HAVE A BIG CHECK.
- THANK YOU! - ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE REALLY NOT GONNA BUY THAT MUCH WITH $20,
SO WE'RE PARTNERS AT TARGET, AND THEY WANT TO GIVE YOU $5,000
SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY...
[audience cheers]
- GO SHOPPING FOR KIDS AND STUFF.
- THANK YOU! - ALL RIGHT, FRIEND.