Because the strangest things happen
in the desert
You never know just what is coming next
So many changes happen in the desert
Sometimes it feels like one big endless test
I said the strangest things happen
in the desert
That's why they call it
God's great sacred nest
So many dangers can happen in the desert
Sometimes the Nile beckons me to regress
It started very nice
The tribes arranged in their formations;
just three days to get to Canaan,
from the base of Sinai
Complaints began as murmuring
but God heard every word
God's wounded anger was a fire
and a lot of us got burned.
But that just fed a vicious cycle
and we lusted after meat.
Rememberin' all the food in Egypt
where we gorged ourselves for free.
Leeks, melons, garlic, onions,
cucumbers and things that you could chew
All the manna that God gave us
was like bird food crossed with tofu.
But still, when we woke up in the morning,
we would find it with the dew.
Yeah, okay, that was pretty cool
It didn't stem the angry crowd
that drove Moses to the brink
He said to God, "I'm not their Mommy,"
God said, "Shut up let me think,"
Moses strides on past their tents,
families weeping where they stand
He said, "God, please kill me now,"
God said, "Hey, now here's the plan."
Tell them flesh is what you want,
you'll have enough to fill your throats.
It'll rain down birds for 30 days
until they're bleeding out your nose
This freedom I have given you is free: give it a try.
Of course we gathered up the poultry
and we heaped it into piles,
While the mouths of all us simpletons
were watering in tents
Joshua tried to stop two prophets
who he thought were too intense
But Moses said, "What, are you jealous?
Let the prophesy abide."
And as we lifted up our drumsticks
by the thousands we expired.
And I was one of them that died.
He called the place "Grave of Desire."
As a post-script let me add
a little something I observed
While my soul hovered above
the desert this was heard:
Moses' brother and his sister,
hardly candidates for strife
had gathered up a little nerve
and come to mock his choice of wife.
They said, "What's with this foreigner?
We have to marry Jews."
"You think that you're so special,
hey, now God talks to us, too."
God descended in a cloud;
the divine anger was unbiased.
Told them only God makes prophets
and that Moses is the highest.
When they left, Miriam saw her skin
had turned a ghostly white,
Aaron rushed to say he's sorry,
Moses prayed her not to die.
She was kicked out of the camp
to heal and think for seven days.
That's how it goes here in the desert,
even sisters have to pay.
Well, she wasn't just a sister, I mean,
she was a prophet.
Well that just strengthens my point!
Everyone gets treated equally in the desert.
You know, sister, prophet,
there's no special protection.
It just matters how you act.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know. I wasn't questioning you,
I was supporting you.
Oh. Thanks.
You did have that
kind of question-y voice,
you get, you know, with the tone.
No, I didn't.
All right, let's not fight.
That's where our weekly story stays.
Because the strangest things
happen in the desert
You never know just what is coming next
So many changes happen in the desert
Sometimes it feels like one big endless test.
I said the strangest things happen
in the desert
That's why they call it
God's great sacred nest
Producer: Sarah Lefton
Animation Director: Nick Fox-Gieg
Animation: Colleen MacIsaac
Editorial Director: Matthue Roth
Theme Music: Tim Cosgrove
Written and Performed by Charlie Buckholtz and Jon Madof
Recorded by Jon Madof