Zoe: I'm filming this video with two of the most annoying people I know.
Yeah, Alfie and Alan, they're so annoying.
no... oohhh
*weird laughing*
Bloomin' hell. Oy, that is rank, isn't it?
Yeah, I know. I really hate that chandelier.
Why have we never changed that? That's rank.
Look at this, the bloody hell is that?
Stop, it will fall on us.
*Zoe and Joe singing Chandelier by Sia* (and amazingly #goals)
Zoe: Why do we sound exactly the same? Joe: Alfie’s impressed, isn’t he? Look.
We just hit the exact same note! okay, right ready
Who won last time?
Alfie and Joe: Me
Z: I don’t remember. A: I think it was me. J: It was 100% me.
A: I think it was me. J: I watched those videos every week.
I just watched it back earlier today, and I won.
J: No. Z: No, you didn’t. A: I did.
A: I won. Z: I don’t think you did, Alfie.
Z: I don't think you've won one of these yet.
A: Alright.
*Joe sings line from Mad World by Gary Jules and Michael Andrews*
Z: Are you okay?
*J continues to sing*
Z: Hello everybody!
Welcome back to this weeks video.
What's wrong?
J: He's trash talking me.
Z: Alfie Deyes
A: It's a competition, you know?
J: It's like a boxing match!
Z: So we filmed one of these videos last year and you guys loved it - and I loved it - and it was fun.
So I thought we would do another one.
J: D'you know what I love?
The lighting on my face in this video. *The three laugh*
Z: Okay Let me change it.
J: No, it's fine
Z: No, no. It's going to annoy me.
J: Oh, jeez no!
Z: Oh no!
A: Oh, bloody hell.
J: See! Now you've ruined it; given me a miHgraine
Z: N- Oh! Can you stop?! This is like in The Sound Of Music when they put the pinecone on her chair!
Right, okay. Can we start?
A: Oi, what's my lighting look like?
Z: Joe, are you happier with your lighting?
J: Yes.
A: Oh, someone got a text downstairs.
Z: Shut up!
J: *Gasps* That could be me!
Z: Do you feel like I need to tilt it down a little bit?
J: Oh my God!
Z: Just a little bit? Oh yeah, I do.
A: Like, honestly. I film my videos on like a broken, crappy little camera.
Z: That's because you don't do main channel videos anymore!
A: I've got them coming back.
*Joe laughs* A: Subscribe, don't you worry.
J: It's not April Fools yet, Alfie!
*Zoe laughs*
Z: First one to answer - and you get one go. So if you get it wrong, you get it wrong and it goes to the other person
A: What if they get it wrong?
Z: What's your buzzer going to be?
*Alfie makes imitation of his own buzzer*
Z: Really?
A: No, that's too long, isn't it?
*Joe imitates his own buzzer*
Z: Okay.
*Alfie makes another buzzer* A: No...
Z: Alfie's not happy with his buzzer!
*Both Joe and Alfie imitate various buzzers*
A: I'll go that.
Z: Okay. And yours is?
*Joe makes buzzer sound*
Z: Okay. Right.
J: Do you wanna do it again?
Z: Yep. *Both boys make their buzzer sounds* Okay.
J: Mine's... Mine's 'I Smell Like Beef' *Laughs*
Z: What's that from?
A: What?
J: It's from a vine. I Smell Like Beef!
Z: That little girl?
Question number one.
J: Okay. A: No... Here we go.
Z: First one to buzz in gets to answer first.
How many Instagram followers- *Alfie buzzes*
A: Oh, crap. Z: Does Marcus Butler have?
A: No, shut up. I literally did that then I was like 'Wait, I don't know who were going to say'
Z: How many Instagram followers do I currently have?
A: 10.6 million.
J: *Buzzes in* Erm... Z: *To Alfie* That's not correct.
J: 10.5 million. Who's closest? Did I get it?
Z: Joe got it. A: Shut up. J: Did I get it?!
A: I just made my noise again to go for a second guess!
Z: You're not allowed to do that! A: Was it exactly right? 10.5? Z: 10.5!
A: Wait, I wanna actually have a look. I'm not having that.
J: Zoe, smell this. I've been wearing these all week. They're alright, aren't they?
Z: They're a bit like, sticky.
A: 10.5, but does Instagram round it up or down?
A: Because if it's .56, then it's closer to me
Z: Joe, you're actually spitting on me.
Alfie, it's 10.5.
Z: Question number two. Get ready on the buzzers! And I have said this to both of you, so before you moan...
A: I'm not moaning. I'm going to be positive from now on.
Z: Okay. What is the name of my childhood, school crush?
J: *buzzes* Z: No, Joe. That's not actually your. Is that actually your buzzer? *Laughter* J: Yeah, it is.
Z: Yes, Joe. J: Is it a friend of ours? Z: Yes! *Joe speaks but the name is bleeped out*
*All three laugh* Z: No!
J: *Buzzes again* A: You can't guess again! J: I know it, I know it, I know it!
Z: It's Alfie's turn.
J: Argh, I know it!
Z: You're allowed to guess but then it goes back to Joe.
A: Do I have to know the surname?
Z: No, not the surname. Just the first name.
A: I'm just going to guess... You only had like eight people in your school!
J: Eight and a half!
A: Joe's got like a one in six chance because you two were both in the school as well. I'm just going to say Matt.
J: *Buzzes* Z: Yeah? J: Ehh, Liam.
Z: Correct!
A: Like how?!
Z: What is my favourite hobby?
J: *Buzzes(i smell like beef)* Z: Yes, Joe?
J: Flower arranging. *Laughter* Z: No.
Z: What do I love? A: Watching TV series'?
Z: Is that your answer?
A: Yeah. Z: No, back to Joe.
J: Erm, ooh. I'm going to go with... Oh, I know it, I know it!
Z: Don't say! J: The thing is I know it; we've got camera evidence that I haven't, you haven't told me, okay?
A: (from downstairs) Oh, shut up!
Z: Okay. Sit down
J: No! We've got camera evidence. We can watch it back if you don't believe.
Z: Let's let Alfie have one more go.
Z: *Giggles* Come on. J: Are you kidding me?!
Z: You just guessed, like, five while he was gone!
J: But you didn't say yes or no! I could have- I said tapestry! As if tapestry would be right!
A: Yeah, so I get five guesses!
Z: No, you get one more guess!
A: Shopping?
Z: No.
J: *Buzzes* Baking!
Z: Yes, Joe!
Alfie! Why don't you know anything about me? A: This is such cheating.
J: No, watch that back!
Z: What was the first beauty event I ever attended?
A: I didn't even know you when you were doing that?
Z: I've told you about it! It's in interviews, I'm sure!
*Joe buzzes* Z: Yes, Joe?
J: Erm, GlossyBox event? *Alfie laughs*
Z: Nope. But well done, good memory!
A: Wait, did you go to one?
Z: Yes! A: No you didn't. Z: Yes I did! I swear I did!
A: Lancôme?
Z: You gotta do your buzzer noise.
*Alfie buzzes* Lancôme!
Z: No. *Joe laughs*
Z: You're in the blog post that I wrote about it! There's a picture of you in it.
*Joe buzzes* Longleat.
Z: That's not a beauty event! A: Longleat?!
Z: That's not a beauty event!
*Alfie buzzes* Z: Yes?
A: Louise was there with you.
Z: She actually wasn't.
A: Oh, bloody hell.
Z: And also that's not the name of the beauty event.
Okay, I'm going to say what it begins with - first one to go in with the buzzer.
It begins with a 'B'. J: 'G' 'B' Yeah, that's what I said.
J: Err. Z: What's a makeup brand beginning with 'B'?
J: Oh! Erm! *Alfie buzzes*
Z: Alfie did it first. *Joe buzzes*
A: Birchbox Z: No.
J: No, I know it! Bobbi, Bobbi Brown!
Z: No! *Joe buzzes and repeats answer*
A: I smell like beef, Bobbi Brown *Laughter*
A: Do they smell beauty products?
Z: Do they smell?
A: Do they- *Interrupted by laughter* I'm done with this already.
Z: Do they smell like beef?
A: Do they SELL beauty products?
Z: Yes! That's what the- Yes, Alfie!
A: Well, it could have just been a magazine or something!
Z: It's a BEAUTY PRODUCT event. It's currently in Superdrug, in Boots, it's on a little stand with all the others. It begins with a 'B'.
Right, I'm going to give you the second letter.
J: Okay.
Z: 'A'
*Joe buzzes* J: Barry M?
Z: Yes!!
J: Three - nil.
Z: It's four - nil. J: Is it?
A: Four - nil, right, need to step up my game now.
Z: Alfie, you really don't know me.
A: Hood's coming up. *Joe laughs*
J: Four - nil - this is what happened last time though, you brought it back but I still won, I think.
Z: How old was I when I got my braces?
*Alfie buzzes* Z: Alfie.
A: 12.
Z: Yes! Alfie Deyes!
Z: How many times did I take my driving test?
*Both buzz in*
Z: Joe. A: I know this!
J: Err, three. Z: Correct!
A: You are such cheating! I got the buzzer first and I knew that one!
Z: No you didn't. He did.
A: Yeah, I know. I just got a bit annoyed.
Z: What is my star sign?
*Alfie buzzes* Z: Alfie. A: Aries Z: Correct!
*Joe buzzes and laughs*
Z: Question number eight: What is my favourite musical?
*Joe buzzes*
Z: Joe. J: Umm, it's that one, isn't it? Les Miserables.
Z: Y- No, hang on. You've got to say it properly.
*Alfie buzzes* J: Hang on. Les Miserables.
Z: Correct!
Z: Did you know that? A: Of course I did
J: *singing* A: I don't know how he's - (Gibberish i cant understand)
Z: What's my favorite song *Alfie buzzes*
Z: For an extra point *Joe gasps*
J: uhm *buzzes*
Z: Yes?
J: *sings*
Z: Shon shon shon
J: Yea, him.
Z: No J: Oh
A: *hums*
J: I dreamed a dream?
A: Yea, that one.
Z: No.
goodbye
*subtitles by aaliyah shah. @_aaliyahspamx (insta)*