Hello Hello!
Welcome back to Top 10 Nerd, I am, your brand new host, Jason Byrne, and I’m bringing
you your latest top 10, starting today with: “The Top 10 Dumbest Superpowers You Didn’t
Know Colossus Had.”
And you can always find me at my Instagram at “JasonGoesSomewhere” if you want to
keep in touch.
Now let’s get started with our first power.
10.
Maybe He’s Born With It
This was a weird one.
So in the X-Men universe, mutant powers generally manifest around the time of puberty, but according
to the promos fox made for Days of Future Past, Colossus was born with his powers due
to being exposed to the fallout from the Chernobyl disaster.
So, this means that even as a baby, his mother would have given birth, nursed, and, I can
only assume, changed dirty diapers filled with ball bearings for a weird metal baby.
Then again he doesn’t need to eat in his metal form so maybe he didn’t digest any-I’m
thinking way too hard about this.
I dunno how I feel about this movie universe...Point is!
Being born a metal baby?
Kinda dumb!
9.
Bendable
While Colossus Metal body is generally indestructible, in the events of World War Hulk, Hulk managed
to bend Colossus’ arm backwards, effectively disabling Colossus and trapping him in his
metal form.
Now, obviously, if Hulk bent any humans arm backwards they’d snap like twigs, but with
Colossus, we have someone who is stuck with his arms pointed backward until someone fixes
them, which generally requires a mutant who can super heat them and another mutant who
can bend them back into place.
What’s the opposite of a healing factor?
Because that’s what Colossus has.
https://www.cbr.com/strange-things-about-colossus/
8.
He Was Mr. Sinister, MAYBE
The Earth X comic series features a Colossus that states to Nightcrawler that at one point,
he was Mr. Sinister who went back in time to manipulate members of the X-Men.
The thing is, assuming that was actually the case, that fact doesn’t really amount to
anything.
All we end up with is a Colossus who has the powers of Mr. Sinister and then doesn’t
do anything with them.
And considering this series takes place in the alternate reality of Earth-9997, we’ll
likely never really see this plot point go anywhere.
Ah well.
A telepathic near indestructible man might be a little too OP anyway.
https://www.cbr.com/strange-things-about-colossus/
7.
Magneto can heal him, almost
In Uncanny X-men #212, after being injured by Riptide, Colossus succumbs to his injuries
and collapses to the ground, while still stuck in his metal state.
Rogue offers to absorb his powers and change him back to a human, but does not, as the
shock of his injuries might kill him.
Magneto, a temporary ally of the X-Men at the time, proceeds to attempt to heal Colossus,
and while he is successful at repairing his injuries, the process leaves Colossus paralyzed.
Which renders Colossus’ primary ability, kind of obnoxious for any health care professional.
Especially considering Magneto isn’t usually on his side.
So let’s hope no one hurts Colossus too bad.
Speaking of which…
6.
Movie Colossus Needs to Breathe
Yeeeeah, look I’m not gonna gripe with what is unquestionably one of the most fun comic
book movies probably ever, but there is a weird moment where Angel Dust chokes Colossus,
and it works.
So the movie colossus has all these powers to turn everything on him to metal including,
his *ahem* gentlemanly bits.
Yet, his lungs remain organic?
Kinda weird, especially since Colossus has been used in the comics as a go to guy when
there’s no oxygen available.
Bizarre choice, but hey, its a comedy, so let’s not take this too seriously.
We’ll just hope that he doesn’t smoke.
5.
Weaker Metal Eyes
While Colossus is able to turn the entirety of his body into a near indestructible metal,
the same cannot be said for his eyes.
While they do turn into metal, they don’t turn into the same kind of metal, so they’re
a highly vulnerable pressure point, and have been used to disable him, like his fight with
the Sam Wilson in Ultimate Nightmare - #5, who, after being grabbed by Colossus, decides
to Poke him in the eyes.
Not exactly a great weakness for a guy who likes to pick stuff up.
Maybe make a note to hold your enemies by the hand, and watch out for any back tentacles
or doctor octopus limbs coming at you.
Just to be safe.
4.
He can kiss Rogue
Yeah this was a weird one-off.
So in X-men #100, in a lull between the relationships Rogue and Colossus had with other characters,
a romantic moment occurred between the two which lead to a sweet kiss.
And as any Rogue fan should know, this almost always leads to pretty bad results.
But this time...nothing happened.
Which you would think, hey, this is perfect!
Someone can be with Rogue risk-free!
But this never really amounts to anything.
Which is a shame, Because they’re a cute couple!
Alas, their love is never meant to be.
Rest in Peace Roguelossus.
3.
Full-Metal body - Full Human Strength
So in Ultimate X-men 94, it’s revealed that initially, Colossus did not possess super
strength when turning into his metal form.
As a result, he couldn’t move!
Making him nothing more than a strange statue.
So to fix this problem, Colossus starts taking Banshee, a substance that acts as something
of a steroid for mutants.
The problem is, this turned Colossus into a drug addict, which, as anyone will tell
you, is REALLY not good.
Thankfully Colossus retained his powers after he stopped using Banshee, so he no longer
has any motivation to be an addict, but this is a pretty crummy superpower when you consider
what he has to do to make it functional.
Good thing he didn’t get his powers as a baby in this universe...
2.
He gets Taller
Look, being tall is great.
Speaking as a perfectly even 6’foot man, there is NO downside to being above average
height.
That said, when you cross that threshold from 6’4 to literally anything higher, life becomes
tremendously inconvenient.
Piotr Rasputin is 6’6, a height that already puts him in contention with most door frames,
but when transforming, he grows nearly another foot!
The man can literally never stand comfortably in a basement.
Of course, maybe I'm biased, but as someone who's tried living in a downstairs apartment,
I can say, most weren’t designed with tall people in mind.
But hey, at least he’s not Apache Chief.
1.
Being a Metal Man in a series where your main villain is Magneto
Look, for most intents and purposes, Colossus’ powers are AWESOME.
But the problem is, he exists in a universe, with this guy (magneto).
Which makes him a complete liability when what is arguably the most famous X-men villain
decides to show up.
Kinda makes all that super strength and bulletproof body a bit unusable when the guy you’re
up against can bend, warp, and literally pin you to a wall with nothing more than a wave
of his hand, doesn’t it?
He might’ve been better off staying a villain, at least then he’d cross Magneto less often.
Ah well, I still love ya Clossy.
And with that we’ve completed our Top 10 of Colossus’ Dumbest Superpowers.
Hope you enjoyed this video and if you have a better suggestion for a dumb Colossus power,
by all means, let me know in the comments, I’d love to see how downhill this can get.
Until then, thank you for watching, and if you enjoyed this content, remember to his
subscribe.
Have a good one!