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Hey, you. My name is Thomas TomSka Ridgewell
and I make asdfmovie, or at least I made asdfmovie.
Not any more. OK, I quit.
I'm done.
I'm sick of going to the comments of myself videos and seeing people say say jokes.
They think they could do better.
They said, Tom, you should have a Justin Bieber.
And then in there I say he like train and then Justin Bieber,
he got hit by the train. And I say, no more.
You think you can do such a good job? Do it yourself.
So I went to Twitter and I asked you to write some asdfmovie jokes,
but I'm not going to go through all 1100
responses pick out, I don't know, ten or so that are good we're going to make it.
we're going to make this also before we get started
throughout all of June, we are going to have a ridiculous
amount of pride themed asdfmovie shirts on sale at SharkRobot.com/asdfmovie
all of the money from the sale of the shirts will be going to charity.
So check it out.
Buy one if you want and if you don't want to don't do it.
I literally can't make you do anything, at least not yet.
I'll find a way though.
I wonder what came in the mail today.
Jared, I'm leaving you and taking the kids.
Is it a letter or is is there partner in the envelope?
Because I kind of like that.
Like open an envelope
and a little person pops out is like I'm leaving you and taking the kids.
How do you avoid a couple practice safe sects
That's not your fucking joke, is it?
Jail.
Why do the chicken cross the road? Explodes
What just exploded? Was it the chicken?
Was it the narrator? Have I exploded?
there's a guy.
He's like, Careful, I'm a serial killer.
And then we see a cereal box, and then he kills it
because, you see, it's the thing.
But then literally,
I just want someone to say, you just got Johned in one of those kids.
Fuck. Why is that so funny?
That's a brilliant man.
I could be like a triplet gag, you know, you just keep seeing this character
and it's just really underwhelming. But it's just good you like.
You just got John'd
Hey, man, you want a pizza?
What kind of pizza? A pizza this pie.
And then he holds up a pie.
That's not good but it's a maybe
Look a ball
Bal man
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The what?
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But it can't protect. You from the cloud of late night thoughts
All my happiest days are behind me.
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But it can't protect you from the immutable fact that you
everything you are and everything you'll ever do will be rendered
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The assurance that long before the sun scorches
the very last traces of humanity from the face of this earth,
you will have already been utterly forgotten.
And all memory of you, all you hold dear, will have been lost
to the cold, gaping more of eternity.
Actually, I'm fine with that.
Oh, well, then, you might as well click the link in the description
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Yeah, why not hurry now before the smiley man gets hungry?
We got to let that sink in joke.
And then they got to let the sink in because there is a sink outside.
I go let the sink in.
Get it because you really got to let the sink in.
If this was a drinking game I'd be dead
Wanna hear something funny person to rips their is off.
Problem is the cast of characters don't really have is so it would just be going
like he just pulls out like chunks of his head.
But I don't hate it.
Oh, boys spring cleaning.
And then we see a spring with a broom because the spring is is clean itself.
The literal.
Oh, this one's animated. Oh, my God.
Two guys walk past
and then one guy the guy is like, see, not all kids have to end in violence.
And then the guy shoot in the fucking back of his head and he's like, They do.
That's pretty good, actually. I mean, it's.
It's very fucking meta.
Like, it's very matter.
All right, go ahead.
We got a couple of guys kissing,
and then a third person comes in is like, Hey, that's gay.
And they're like, what you can do about it?
He's like, I'm a join in.
And then it's three guys kissing.
You know, that would be a fucking banging vine.
Hey, that's gay.
It's like, what are you going to do about it?
It's like, join in. Yeah, but I don't think it's right for
asdfmovie, nothing else is really hard to animate people making out.
That's very good.
If you have a tick tock, take that joke.
Credit tailor. Make it.
I want to see someone make this joke, please, as a good joke character.
Hey, you need to grow up.
Character B rapidly gets bigger in size look, look, look.
That is just the thing they say literally happening.
And I hate the fact that I don't hate it.
I can imagine it with that like
that rubbery sound of like a balloon where it's like.
And then he just gets bigger.
It's like, I don't like that.
It's going in the maybe pile plus and one here's a chicken nugget.
Person two That's an airplane.
You see what I put up with every day of my life for 14 fucking years?
Do you ever wonder why I'm depressed?
I fucking don't
The oven starts smoking
Do you smell smoke?
Oh, my fire is done.
Takes a fire out of the oven and starts eating it with a fork.
Oh, fuck.
That's good. That's funny.
That's funny.
Character one Our son is a real handful.
Cut to a city on fire and screaming with an arsonist.
Just looking, please. You know what?
I'm just
glad that the son wasn't in their hand, but that may have actually been funny.
And maybe the son says something unexpected.
He's like, I'm.
I'm committing tax fraud. That's not funny.
Our movie director says, cut.
And then someone gets their hair cut.
I hope you perish in flames.
I like trains. I like trains.
Romantic music, hard cuts a wedding train runs through them fuck it fuck it
That's funny. That's good.
You know? Fuck it. That's good. That's good.
Girl. What are you doing?
Step bro, cut to man.
Cutting down a person.
Bodies everywhere
but camera zooms out to reveal he's playing video games covered in crumbs.
And then with his mouth full, he says Video games.
I liked it.
If you stopped sooner wouldn't have been so bad. Just, you know.
What are you doing?
Step bro and then just.
I'm committing tax fraud. That's
I have been trying to work a tax fraud punch line
into a joke for ages, and I don't know, I like that one.
Why the long face and a horse is like, I just really miss him, man.
You know what I like about it?
You can either interpret it as grief.
The horse is gay. We have a gay horse.
I think there's great diversity when the horse is gay.
Points for gay horse
it's a it's a it's a fucking maybe
Mind that bus.
What bus?
And then they get hit by a bus.
Why do I bother doing what I do?
The fucking best jokes are already been written.
This guy drinks from a mug.
He says, this isn't my cup of Joe.
And the mug says, Hi, I'm Steve.
I don't like you
I kind of want it to be more like
there's a little guy in there, and he's like, Hey, I'm Steve.
Yeah, hey, look. A catfish.
And then there's a catfish dressed up
as a sexy woman because, like, it’s the literal
Guys, like, hey, dude, pull my finger guy pulls it, and they both explode.
I don't like it,
but don't.
I don't love it, but the idea of it pulls it out.
Like, it's like a grenade pin noise, like the finger comes off.
It's like
and then they explode am warming up to it
Hey, want to hear a joke? Yeah, sure.
Yeah, me, too.
And then they just stand awkwardly.
Maybe there's, like, in rain. It was like and there was no joke.
It's not bad, but it's not good.
A man points and goes, Ah, my finger that shouldn't be that shouldn't be funny.
But it's not.
It's not bad. Just are my finger.
That's.
Oh, fuck. Is that funny?
I think that's funny.
Super villain. Nothing can stop me now.
And then you just come back to an empty screen and the super villains
like, no, that's
fucking so good.
That's so good.
That's, that's great because I don't think
the audience would get what the joke was until after the sketch.
That's really good.
Yeah. Very nice.
Jerry therapy session.
The therapist is like, All right, let's see how you do on this test, OK?
And the therapist holds up a Rorschach test image
and the cast of guys like Smash.
I mean, like, obviously it's very topical like that joke is not going
make any sense in, you know, like a week, but we're in that week currently.
So, yeah, maybe a guy runs up to another guy
who's in a bagel and he's like, hey, you know, you are what you eat.
And then he turns into a bagel because you see the literally
turns into he is what he eeeeeeats
we got a person
I feel like you've been distant lately and it cuts wide.
And then there's someone in the distance you don't even see.
And that like, what is pretty funny isn't it's pretty funny
person one I'm trans person.
He's like, cool and he's like, parent, transparent.
And then he, he fades away, you know, it's not fucking awful.
I wouldn't have the other person be like, cool, be like, I'm trans
parent
you know, just like, nice and simple
It's midnight.
Is that a knife? Get shot.
No, fuck you.
Fuck off. Go fuck yourself. That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, it's good. It's good.
Telemarketer.
Can I confirm your address?
A dress says
yes, I am. But how did you know?
Because you see, the dress was a dress
Oh, well, I am out of wine,
which means I cannot conceivably read any more jokes.
I have gone through at least a thousand of them, and each
one has aged me by at least an hour.
So I think it's safe to assume that I only have a few years left.
Thanks for that. All right.
So I've got about 30 jokes that I think could feasibly work.
I'm going to now
whittle those down to about ten voices and get Ben to animate them.
But I'm not going to show you that part because that's kind of boring.
So let's just jump into it.
Without further ado, this is
the asdfmovie written by you, if given the chance to do that.
Was this a mistake? You fucking tell me
I'm trans
Cool
-parent
What?
Is that a knife?!
No
Smash
My fire is done.
I feel like you've been so distant lately
What?
I like trains.
I pronounce you
hey, dude,
pull my finger
Okay
Haha, nothing can stop me now.
No!
Hey Hi
See not all these skids have to end in violence.
They do
Wow, that was a crazy time.
I assume I haven't seen it yet on account of the fact that I right
now haven't made it, but let's assume it went pretty well.
What did you think?
Did you like the jokes?
Do you think you did a pretty good job?
Do you think that I missed some absolute banger jokes?
That should have made?
If so, making me self just credit the person who did it or asked them.
I already know how this works. I'm an idiot.
Obviously, this wasn't everyone's balls, but they were genuinely
a lot of really good jokes in there and a lot of just really creative suggestions.
People often,
you know, try to give me jokes and suggestions, but I always say
if you have a good joke idea, you should just make it.
Don't give away free.
You got a good idea. I'd use it. Please God.
And if you found any of the suggestions really funny, check out the Twitters
of the people who did them.
Maybe they're funny, maybe they're racist.
I don't know.
I didn't check very thoroughly.
Also, if you're on a patron, you can get extra 20 minutes of me going through
so many more jokes and just dying inside her.
Thank you for watching.
And don't forget to check out those Pride Month shirts
I will see you when I next see you
God stop asking you’re so needy
TomSka out