My wife hates me. What are the things that I can do to make her love me again?
This was a question that a client of mine, "Zach", asked me just last week.
He's been married for multiple years and has no idea how to speak to his wife anymore.
She just can't stand him. Everything he does bothers her. And so he called me
asking, "Why?" This video is for you guys at home to help you understand why your
wife might be hating you right now and what you can do to turn that hatred into
love and into fuel to keep this marriage going. When it comes to what women want,
usually it's to feel heard and understood. When I ask men the same
question, "What is it that you want?," men tend to say, "To feel respected." Men want
to feel respected. Women want to feel heard. So I have a hunch that if your
wife hates you - and again hate is a very big word but for the sake of using
Zach's expression - if your wife hates you chances are it's because she doesn't
feel you understand her and that she doesn't feel like you're hearing what
she has to tell you. So if you're watching this video asking yourself, "Why
does my wife hate me and how can I fix it?" You fix it by starting to really
listen, maybe for the first time in a long time.
Relationships, whether they're romantic or whether they're between friends,
family members, co-workers, they're all about perspective. If you want to nourish
a relationship and you want to push it forward, it's about developing an
understanding for what the other person is feeling and experiencing. When in your
presence and in your company. So I want you to spend time while watching this
video after watching this video - and all the time - really asking yourself, "What is
my wife feeling?" When she says she hates me, when she says she's not interested,
when she says she's disconnected, why might that be? What are the challenges in
our marriage? What are the challenges in our relationship? What are the things
that can make her feel less than or ignored,
because as you can imagine nobody wants to feel ignored. There are a lot of ways
that you can determine why your wife might be hating you.
Coach Adrian and I helped countless clients like Zack answer this very question. But for
the sake of you moving quickly, and for the sake of you starting to turn your
relationship around immediately, the first tip I can give you here on this
channel at HAPPILY COMMITTED is to listen and to understand. Develop a sense
of empathy. I want you to replay your marriage up until this point, up until
this very moment, and ask yourself, "What are the hurdles, what are the challenges,
what could you have done differently to have made her feel heard and to make her
feel understood and loved?" As women, we are nurturers. As women we want to
emotionally connect. In fact, that is how we connect: emotionally. That's how we're
designed. If she's not feeling emotional connection,
she might be resentful, she might be frustrated, she might be losing hope. So
if you want to begin to connect with her, start by connecting with the dynamic
that's in your marriage. Learn what happened and learn what you can do to
fix it, and start incorporating those changes now, today. In the beginning she
might not have that much faith. In the beginning she might say, "Why is he acting
differently?" But time is credibility in relationships
and in marriage. The longer you do something the more likely it is to stick
around. The same goes for what may have brought you here.
The longer you haven't been listening, the more she will believe you never will.
So now is the time to turn it around and now is the time to start opening your
eyes and ears and heart to what's happening with your wife and why she might hate
you. If you're looking for more information, if you're looking to plunge
into the details of your marriage, of your relationship, Adrian and I are
here to help. We would love to work with you and we've committed to you to keep
you happily committed in your life and in your relationship with the person
that you love the very most. So thank you for tuning in and make sure to hit
subscribe. We post videos like this one every day all the time around the clock
and we have dedicated our lives to helping
people just like you get the relationship advice that you want, to fix whatever it
is that's going on. So thank you, my name is Coach Natalie and I look forward to
connecting with you