- THE RIGHT TRIANGLE'S LONGEST SIDE
IS CALLED THE HYPOTENUSE,
AND IT'S THIS SIDE HERE.
- HEY, I WISH I WERE HIGH ON POTENUSE.
- [giggles]
"I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE."
[laughter]
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
OH, MR. MORRISON, IT'S VERY FUNNY.
IT'S VERY FUNNY, BUT LET'S GET BACK TO THE LESSON.
WE CAN SEE THE LONGEST ONE
WHERE IT GOES FROM THIS POINT--
- THAT WAS MY JOKE.
- I KNOW, MAN. THAT WAS HILARIOUS.
- TRIANGLE. I'VE LABELED THEM HERE
"A," "B," AND "C." - NO, BUT, I MEAN, I SAID THAT.
I SAID IT.
I SAID IT. I SAID THAT.
- PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. JACKSON, KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.
THANK YOU.
NOW THE HYPOTENUSE-- [laughter]
MR. MORRISON, YOU REALLY GOT ME ON THAT ONE.
OH, SO GREAT.
OH, OH, PRINCIPAL MARTEL, PRINCIPAL MARTEL, COME HERE,
COME HERE, COME HERE.
TELL PRINCIPAL MARTEL WHAT YOU SAID, TROY.
- OH, SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE HYPOTENUSE,
AND I SAID, "I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE."
[laughter]
I'M SORRY.
[laughter continues] HE LIKES IT.
PRINCIPAL MARTEL'S COOL.
- OH, THAT'S-- THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
- PRINCIPAL MARTEL, PRINCIPAL MARTEL, I SAID THAT.
- MR. JACKSON, THAT IS ENOUGH.
- BUT I SAID IT FIRST. - DUDE, COME ON.
- MR. IGLESIAS, MR. IGLESIAS,
YES, COME IN, COME IN.
- [gasps] - YEAH.
YES. WHAT'S UP, PEOPLES?
- FLUFFY. - COMEDIAN GABRIEL IGLESIAS
IS TOURING THE LOCAL SCHOOLS TODAY
FOR A CHARITY HE'S WORKING ON.
TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID. TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID.
- UH, I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD. THAT IS CLEVER.
THAT IS CLEVER. VERY FUNNY.
- NO. NO. - VERY FUNNY.
- RIGHT? THANKS, THANKS.
- MR. IGLESIAS, MR. IGLESIAS,
I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN.
THAT WAS MY JOKE.
- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT REALLY COOL, BUDDY,
TO TAKE CREDIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S JOKES.
HEY, LISTEN, FUNNY STUFF.
I'M DOING THIS BIG TOUR RIGHT NOW.
YOU WANT TO SEE ABOUT MAYBE WE COULD TALK ABOUT YOU OPENING?
I NEED AN OPENER.
- UM, SURE.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THAT OKAY?
- OF COURSE. OF COURSE. - YEAH.
- [gasps] WHAT?
- SORRY ABOUT THAT. - TALENT, MAN.
- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. THANKS SO MUCH.
- THAT'S LIKE A RICHARD PRYOR. GET OVER HERE, MAN.
COME ON. - RICHARD PRYOR.
- HE DESERVED IT.
ALL RIGHT, SO ACROSS FROM THE LONGEST SIDE
IS A 90-DEGREE ANGLE.
- GOOD THING I'VE GOT A 90-DEGREE DANGLE.
- JOEL, STOP IT! YOU WILL NEVER BE TROY!
- WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE LIKE TROY?
DICK.
-
- [snickers]
- SO THE HYPOTENU-- [laughter]
- WHAT THE [bleep] IS GOING ON?
- I'M GONNA PISS MY PANTS.
I'M GONNA PISS MY PANTS RIGHT HERE.
OH, MY GOD! OH!
- GOOD EVENING, MY FELLOW AMERICANS.
EVERY DAY OUR CITIZENS IMPROVE THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND THEM.
TODAY WE HONOR TROY MORRISON.
NOW TROY WAS IN GEOMETRY CLASS
WHEN HIS TEACHER MENTIONED THE HYPOTENUSE OF A TRIANGLE.
TROY SAID, "I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE."
THAT REALLY CRACKED ME UP,
AND IT CRACKED UP THE REST OF AMERICA TOO,
SO TODAY I'M PLEASED TO PRESENT TROY
WITH THE CONGRESSIONAL COMEDY MEDAL OF HONOR.
TROY, ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY,
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR YOUR FANTASTIC, OFF-THE-CUFF LINE.
YOU ARE A TRUE COMEDY HERO.
- THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.
AND ALSO, MR. PRESIDENT, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
- WHAT'S THAT? OH! HE GOT ME ONE.
YES. THESE ARE SOLD OUT.
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET MY HANDS ON ONE OF THESE.
THANKS, TROY. OH, MY GOD.
"HIGH ON POT-ENUSE."