(audience cheering) Boy, you're great.
That's wonderful. Oh, yes, them, yes.
You're great, too, yes. Ah, thank you.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, thank you very much for coming on the show.
My pleasure.
Actually a fan of the "Naked Gun" pictures.
Thank you, renewing old acquaintances.
Remember back on "Saturday Night Live"?
Oh, that's right, I was working there when you were there.
Yeah, yeah. That's right.
Yeah. I got you coffee
and you chewed me out. (audience laughing)
I did not. No, you did not.
I'm low maintenance, is what I am.
No, I got you tea and you chewed me out.
Now no, I'm- (audience laughing)
Does he chew you out? Sometimes..
Oh, okay. I'm a very angry guy.
No, actually, I am a big fan of those pictures
because I love the way you play it so straight.
I love the way, I guess the director told you
it's not a comedy, act as though this is deadly serious.
The director, the thing is that we know we're being funny,
but you can't let the audience know for one second
that you're trying to be funny, not for one second.
Although I will do almost anything I can for a laugh.
(goofy fart resounds) (audience laughing)
I said almost.
I didn't say I would do anything for a laugh.
What have you got there? (laughs)
Isn't that a little personal?
(Conan and audience laughing) You'd like to see it?
(flatulence resounds) Oh...
That's what I have, there it is right there.
What the hell are you doing? (audience laughing)
What is the, oh, let's show this.
You heard the rude noises that it makes.
Yes, I did. Nothing but fun.
I got that from a man in Oklahoma City, Jack Martin
who's the senior golf pro and one night he said,
"Leslie, I'm gonna give you something to change your life."
(audience laughing) It did, too.
I've had nothing but laughs so long-
You don't carry this around everywhere.
I do not travel anywhere alone.
That goes with me all over, it's been a-
You're a grown man, what are you doing?
Don't be too sure of that!
No really, you bring this thing wherever you go?
Oh yeah, yeah, you never can tell.
It always comes in handy.
And you never can tell when there's a certain amount
of pomposity or somebody who's making you play
a particular role and if you just shake hands with somebody
it's how do you do? (fart resounds)
Excuse me, very nice to meet you.
(audience laughing) It's really a tremendous grip.
It's a defense.
I'm working so hard, so hard to establish my credibility
(audience laughing) and in three seconds...
[Leslie] This establishes credibility.
Now, you say you take this everywhere,
and I've actually heard that you do.
I didn't really think you'd take it out here tonight.
I ways praying, but you take this wherever you go.
Have you taken it anywhere where you now think
it may have been inappropriate?
Well, you're always taking a chance, I'll tell you.
And there are times-
What's the most serious place you took it?
You know, when you're doing any kind of comedy
there's just no way there's not gonna come that time
when you step over the line
but that's because of the chance you take.
And there's just gonna be sometimes, especially with this,
where you seem to step over the line.
And in that case, you know, I say, look,
I'm really playing, I've got a secret.
I know I'm doing kind of a practical joke
so I'll apologize or I'll show the people.
Sometimes it doesn't work but then
you have to just rely on your insensitivity.
I have a seminar, insensitivity if you like and I can frame-
Yes, I would like to sign up for that.
For the insensitivity course?
Yes, I would. There's a downside you know.
What's that? Sometimes you can
be feeling good and not know it.
(audience laughing)
I would go back to this thing.
Oh, you wanna go back? No, no.
But do women enjoy this joke, I'm just curious.
I'll tell you one thing- Like you're on a date
and you do that, do they immediately go,
you're the guy for me. (audience laughing)
It's the greatest way to find out
Whether a woman likes you or not.
(laughs) For who you are.
That's exactly it, to be accepted for who you are.
That hits the nail on the head.
Well, I want you to let Andy hold it
for the remainder of the show. Okay, here you are, Andy.
All right. Okay.
(chuckles) All right. I got it here.
Don't squeeze it too hard. Oh, all right.
All right, and the "Naked Gun" pictures,
you're coming out with another one soon, aren't you?
We're coming out, "Naked Gun 33 1/3."
(audience laughing)
"Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult."
And it'll be out on March the 19th, and I swear,
I think it's as funny as the first two if not funnier.
All right, well, we're gonna have
to step away for a second.
We'll come right back and find out more about this
and Andy will hold on to your little machine of doom.
We'll be right back with more Leslie Nielsen
in just a second. (audience applauding)