Hey guy, welcome back to the toilet.
Danny kicked me out.
It's so weird. I thought everything was going great.
But then last week I came home from my racquetball tournament and I was in a good mood.
So I got in last place and I noticed Danny had packed up all my stuff. Like in bags
I looked at him and I said, "Danny, why did you do that? Can you put it back?"
And he said, "No it's time for you to go home."
And I said, "I thought I was home."
Anyway long story short he kicked me out and I'm back in Florida with my wife. So...
F's in the chat I guess
Hey, let's talk about the Internet
Remember like a thousand years ago when they invented the internet,
and everyone was like, "This is awesome!
"The world has changed
"and nothing, but good will come from this,"?
And now people just use the internet to get really famous for doing dumb shit.
Yeah, I remember that too.
So you probably heard about this story by now, I saw a lot of people talking about it.
It really took the internet by storm.
Um- but I'm going to talk about it as well because it made me really mad.
This video went viral of a girl going to Walmart,
opening up a tub of ice cream, and licking the top of it.
And here's the funny part
Then she puts it back in the freezer.
-[Inaudible] Lick it, lick it. Oh! You foul! Put it back, put it back, put it back. Put it back. Oh!
God that's so funny. I love how funny that is
Now right away, everybody turned on this woman, and they were pretty pissed at her for doing this
Cause it's gross and you shouldn't do this
The problem is when shitty people do shitty things online, and they get negative attention for it,
That's really all they wanted because negative attention is still attention.
So it didn't end there it, became a trend.
Oh, what's she gonna do?
Aw! She licked the ice cream!
*funny, upbeat music*
That's why it's funny, cause she licked it.
There's a couple things about this that I love.
Number one It's so funny, but it's also smart.
You see because what these people are doing is a crime,
that would be very easy to get away with if they didn't film themselves doing it.
As far as crimes go, this would actually be one of the easiest to get away with
Because no one would be able to tell that it happened if you didn't show it to them.
So why would you do this?
I know that's kind of a dumb question
Because obviously the point of this challenge isn't to lick the ice cream and put it back,
It's to film yourself doing that so you can get a bunch of clout for it.
A bunch of well-deserved clout, for all the hard work you're doing.
But wait, there's more. This guy did it, too
-Want some?
That's so funny
I know I'm not technically like a fashion icon or anything like that
So maybe my opinion doesn't mean anything, but is he wearing baseball pants?
What, does he have a game tonight?
Also, he like kind of fucked up the whole challenge
I guess he was in a hurry to get to his baseball game
because he ran out so fast that he forgot to put the lid back on.
Not that I want him to be successful at the challenge.
I'm glad he failed, but isn't the point of this to make it look like the ice cream has not been touched?
Or more specifically licked?
I don't think anyone would buy that, cause the lids off.
They'd probably be like, "Why is the lid off? Did someone lick this?"
Don't worry though. I know you're probably pretty frustrated with these people. I am too
He responded to his own tweet with this video of a police officer at his door.
Hold on, let me try to wrap my head around this.
So you're saying if you film yourself doing a crime, and then you put that video on the internet,
The police can find you? And then they have evidence? Of you doing the crime?
That's so weird that that's all it would take to get arrested
Is submitting your own evidence to the police
Speaking of the police, the girl from the first video apparently got arrested as well.
The official charge is food tampering.
Which is a felony in most US states, and carries a maximum sentence of up to 20 years.
If she gets sentenced to 20 years in prison
for filming herself licking ice cream, I will wake up every for the rest of my life laughing out loud.
I will be- I will laugh so loud that that's what's gonna wake me up every morning
When something like this has such a poetic ending, it feels pretty good.
This is a very satisfying resolution.
It really sucks thought that the damage was already done.
When someone does something stupid and gets rewarded for it,
people see that and then they do the same stupid thing.
That's why other videos like this are going viral.
Like this guy did one too and it's really funny because,
instead of ice cream he did mouthwash.
*Drew laughs*
He spitted in it and he put it back on the shelf and that's really funny to me because I'm a little baby.
I'm two years old and I got poop in my diaper and I'm laughing at this cause it's funny
and I'm the target audience for a joke like this. Me a two year-old.
The thing with theses Listerine bottles is these are all sealed.
To set up this shot, they must have gone over there and taken the seal off
So he could then select that specific one. That they had already taken the seal off of,
and then put it back on the shelf when he was done and it still doesn't have a seal.
No one's gonna buy it. You've failed at your own shitty prank you moron
I understand that the feeling of clout can be very addicting
and sometimes a pursuit of it comes at the cost of being a decent human being.
But what are you really getting out of this?
Like with these ice cream lickers, and people like Boonk.
And uh, Plain Potatoes who Eddie's made videos about. What is the goal?
What tangible accomplishment do you have to show for yourself?
Other than the most temporary clout that I would put an asterisk next to
Cause it's not like- it's not like you're being rewarded for something.
There are numbers involved
There are a lot of people paying attention to you
But they're all mad at you
And then as soon as they're done being mad at you
Which is gonna happen, people have already forgotten about this, then they move on
There's no sustainability with this type of clout. It's so temporary. It's so worthless
So yeah, you got like 10,000 people yelling at you on the internet, which is good, I guess
But then what happens? You get arrested?
You get a million followers on Instagram but then your account gets deleted because you're a shitty person?
So what do you have to show for it, other than just being an asshole?
The crazy thing is though that these people's brains are so broken and dumb,
that even when they face consequences, like getting arrested,
they still think it was all worth it in the end
"Just left the police station too much. Too much clout to care"
He's so cool. *air horns*
You're probably thinking that if he considers the clout he received to be worth spending the day at the police station
He probably got a lot of followers, right?
Like a hundred thousand or two hundred thousand or
eight thousand. Eight thousand followers. That's what this is all about?
Also I'm still just concerned about this guy's baseball game that he clearly missed.
You can't let your team down like that.
Also, where'd you get those boots? Is one of Santa's elves going through a goth phase?
What did you raid the dumpster behind Hot Topic?
I don't care that I'm not fashionable enough to make these jokes.
Look if you're ever on the internet and you see a dumb person doing a dumb thing
But getting a lot of attention for it, don't feel tempted to also do that dumb thing
So you can also maybe get a similar amount of attention. It's not worth it
Plus there's plenty of wholesome challenges going around that you can take part in.
The bottle cap challenge is pretty cool
There's a cucumber challenge. I'm not sure what that is. I haven't looked it up yet
But if it involves vegetables, it's probably wholesome
All I'm saying is there's so much potential for more wholesome content and no one's making it.
Which is why today I'm starting a brand new trend:
Going-to-your-local-grocery-store,-buying-all-your-groceries-at-full-price,-and-respecting-the-employees-challenge
And don't forget your reusable bag!
*fun music*
Yep! And now I just wait for the retweets to start pouring in.
Oh! ["this is boring"]
Yeah, they're right
I forgot. It's way more fun to get mad at dumb people than it is to praise people for doing the bare minimum
That's my whole channel: is getting mad at dumb people
One last update on this situation um, it looks like the ice cream revolution has gotten so out of hand
that stores are now having to lock their frozen dessert section
because people won't stop licking ice cream
Y'know, it was bad enough that you guys committed a felony
But now if I want to so much as buy some popsicles, I have to talk to someone
Congratulations ice cream lickers. You just posted cringe you're going to lose subscriber
Well, it looks like I've officially ended the video more angry than when I started. So mission accomplished
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Well guy that's gonna do for today's video. Thank you so much for watching
Sorry this one is a little shorter than what I usually post. It's been a very hectic month
We did not expect have to move when we did
If you want to see more stuff from me, I did post a sketch last week
About Facebook marketplace. That's on my Twitter and Instagram
I also tweeted about stranger things and made a bunch of people really angry
so you should go see what that is
And follow me
As always the links to buy tour tickets and merch are in the description if you feel so inclined
And when I get back from VidCon, I promise to figure out what to do with my background.
Well, that's about it.
I gotta go explain to my neighbors why they saw me walk into the woods wearing three different shirts
So see you next time