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You've got to really get to a place
of understanding these people are not God.
And it's not fair to put
their mistakes
or even your mistakes
on God, all right. Mhm.
And you also have to
allow yourself to connect with God
not on a,
just on a,
a level of okay, well,
this is what Christians do,
this is what good people do.
More so, or no let me find out
what does God have to say to me?
How does He want to guide me in my life?
What is it that He wants me to do?
Because earlier you mentioned how
you gave up friends, you gave up the girlfriend.
You gave up all these things,
but did God tell you to do that
or your church told you to do that?
I feel like it was, I feel like it was God.
You feel like it was God,
why did you feel like it was God?
Umm, because I feel like
a lot of decisions
that are big like that in my mind,
I always feel like it has God like, in there.
So, is, is,
it's sometimes where it's like, men
I drag it out and it's still there
and it's like men, there something that
I know I need to do.
Okay.
And even looking back at it now I wouldn't change it
because I feel like at that time,
yeah, umm,
it feel like it was still the right decision.
It's like, like
God told me to go to Indiana
you know, and I know for a fact
that's the right decision
because just,
simply just doing the podcast
we have way more flexibility.
I think there's a bigger picture
to you going to Indiana.
I agree... Now, now, I know your story... I agree.
Ahhh.
It was, it was definitely one of the reasons
why I got there, but it got cold.
(Laughs)
I'm stupid. Anyways,
but
yeah, I mean I feel like,
it differ when people
persuade me when something
where it was like
you need to do this, you need to do this
or you know, even telling myself
it was like,
I know this is wrong,
I know this is unhealthy for me.
I know this, and especially
the relationship with the girlfriend.
I know it was wrong, and was unhealthy for us.
Umm, because maybe
and now honesty we were
probably doing everything besides having sex.
So, it's just like umm,
as the new believer that's not helping me
in my work with God. So, I know
biblically even for myself
umm,
it was the right decision to make.
You know, and that was a very hard decision.
So, let's go with that.
Let's go with it really was God telling you
to let go of all those things and those people,
but you mentioned how after you did it
you didn't see the reward so to speak.
Yeah, I didn't see what was,
I thought was supposed to come from that.
Exactly, so, let me ask you this
one, what you thought
was supposed to come
was that something that
you came up with in your own head
or was that something that you felt God told you
would come from those things?
A problem solved in my own head.
Okay, all right. So, one,
understand the difference between
setting up your own expectations
versus what you felt God is telling you
was going to come into your life, all right.
Yeah, that's, that's tough
because I feel like you,
if you know you have like,
you've given out something bad,
you nurture, you want to expect something good out of it?
And, and listen you're right.
However, the problem is as human beings
we don't know how to always
process what's good and what's bad.
Our perceptions of those things can be very skewed
for example, let's say
you were working at a job
and God told you to let go
these people, all right.
And you're thinking okay, you know what
maybe this means I'm going to get a promotion at this job.
God is going to do something special for me.
And then that job fires you.
Now, in that moment
you're going to process this bad.
Why did this happen to me? That's unfair
I follow God and
now he set me up like this.
But for all you know
you were getting fired because something else
was going to come around
that was going to pay you more,
make you happier,
and be the best thing that could ever happen to you.
You can't see that yet.
You're stuck in the moment
and again, we process
things a certain way
and we think this is bad.
This is the worst that could happen,
but the worst thing that could have happened can be the
best thing that could have happened to you.
And so, you have to be patient.
So, when you say
you know
that was God that told you to do that
and you feel very confident
about the decision you made.
For future reference, I'm saying
stick with the process.
The process doesn't always
bring an immediate reward,
but the reward is coming.
So, I'll use me as an example
you know, I always feel like God was telling me to do this.
This whole writing a book, relationship stuff,
and for the first
I don't know, three years I was broke.
Four years, I don't know how many years
because it was a long time, all right.
(Laughs)
And I mean dead broke, broke, broke,
and it was a struggle.
And so, even people were like,
well, how can you tell us God is telling you this
when you're still broke, when you're still struggling?
But just because it hadn't happened yet
doesn't mean I heard wrong.
It just means the time did not come.
Now, we fast forward and I'm good
I'm doing... Hey, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, must be nice.
I'm doing better than people who,
who were telling me get a real job,
what are you doing? This is pointless leave it alone.
So, I give that example and simply say
don't get caught up
in what's happening at the moment.
That's how faith is tested.
You know, your faith isn't tested until
what's happening in front of you
doesn't line up with what you thought
God told you, all right.
That's when you're really going to be put to the ground
and be like, all right, what are you going to do now?
Are you going to still listen to God
or you're going to go on your own way?
But I say this to you
not for you to go back
and beat yourself up about
how you handled it,
but for you to be
strengthened moving forward
because as you continue to have a relationship with God
you're going to hear more things.
You're going to be led in certain ways
and you've got to be able to
trust the process.
Sometimes, it takes time.
You know what I'm saying?
But again, I think that ultimately
you've got to resolve
your differences with God
because here's one thing I've learned.
If we have any issue with God,
we somehow think that we can have this issue,
but still live this Godly life
or still be this good
person on the right path.
And we can manage the situation,
but you can't.
That disconnect you got with God
because at the core of who you are
you have a foundation of God, all right.
You have that belief system
that is what you've been living
or trying to live.
And so, with this disconnect
you have in this area with Him
that's creating a disconnect in all the other areas.
And that makes it harder for you to have
clarity as to what He wants you to do,
how you should be handling things
and being able to be more confident
and faithful in certain situations.
So, definitely, the,
your Father and God,
which you know, again, it's funny
because you've combined
those two things in your life,
but one, we need to separate them
and then we need to address them properly
and I really,
I am certain
you do this
your life is going change bro
it's going to be very, very different.
And especially with these unhealthy
relations you've had with women
that's going to come to a stop completely
because as much as you may be
trying to stop it right now
if you don't heal,
you will be back in a situation like that.
Yeah. You know.
So, are you prepared to take these steps?
Don't, don't ask me that.
No. I need you...
I don't pay you to do that.
(Laughs)
I need you to say
you are prepared to take these steps.
I'm going to do this God damn, I'm prepared
to take these steps. Okay, good,
good, you know I'm going to hold you to it.
Unfortunately, I know I can do it. (Laughs)
Now, now, I know it needs to be done
because I mean, I'm not like...
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