Hello there.
A viewer reminded me the other day of an extremely weird moment in Teen Wolf Season 5 when there
was a kid with what looked like wings or what might have at one time been wings on his back.
I honestly had forgotten this existed, even though I just did a watch-through of that whole season a
few months ago. I guess I forgot it because it was literally just a second or two on screen
and it didn’t actually go anywhere because the only reason that whole “locked in a cage”
set up existed was so Theo could save Liam and Hayden instead of Scott. And in turn,
that would then drive the wedge further in between the McCall pack members.
Anyway, that got me thinking about the other forgettable
and useless hybrids from Teen Wolf Season 5 and, after two days of microphone problems,
here we are with my list of the worst chimera.
I’m Paul Rea and if you want to join me each week on these journeys back to Beacon Hills,
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Now, I’m not being harsh when I say many of the Dread Doctors creations
were useless. I mean, Theo was trying to build a fighting force.
He had a whole pile of dead chimera to choose from including one with scorpion
stingers but he decided to bring back Corey.
Not saying Corey is the worst chimera, he was very useful against the ghost riders
but we didn’t know that when Theo was looking for fighters so there must have
been a lot of uselessness in that pile if the invisible twink made it to the varsity squad.
Seriously though, Corey turns out to be one of the
more useful chimera and is therefore at very the bottom of the worst list.
His powers seemed to be simple camouflage but it turns out he was going
completely out of phase with our reality whenever he went invisible. This suggests
to me that he got a little more of the ghost rider juice than the others did.
He’s so powerful he was able to merge the wild hunt with the real world over a large area.
That’s a superpower albeit a very specific and limited-use superpower.
Corey: Attention all passengers, the train will be arriving in eight minutes.
Next up we have Belasko.
The big guy was created for a very specific purpose, He was to use his
Garuda claws to siphon the alpha spark out of Scott McCall and get him out of the way
so the Dread Doctors could get on with their master plan.
The Garuda is basically a giant bird. Sometimes it’s depicted as a bird/man hybrid that serves as
transportation for the god Vishnu in mythology.
In the Teen Wolf Universe, we only got to see its claws on Belasko who was mostly werewolf in
appearance. His claws were the best part about him because they were basically spark takers – you
could plug them into a hellhound, a werewolf or a werecoyote and steal their abilities.
Well, you could do that if you weren’t Belasko.
He failed to accomplish his mission and the Dread Doctors retired him.
On a side note, I asked Jeff Davis why he had birds fly out of Belasko’s chest when he died.
I wondered because I half remembered that visual from a nursery rhyme when I was a kid.
According to Jeff they did it because it looked cool.
Now, to be honest, he actually said they did it to make it clear that the dread doctors process
was weird science and supernatural and akin to magic but basically that all boils down to
they did it because it looked cool.
Speaking of disappointing explanations for really neat stuff,
Josh’s electrical abilities were officially because he was part electric eel.
Yeah, I was hoping for some amazing mythical or supernatural creature
with lightning bolts like the native American Thunderbird or a Japanese thunder beast. But no,
I asked Jeff and according to him Josh is just plain old electric eel.
Still, his powers were very helpful in certain situations, not so much against
a hellhound but then again, what is really. So, no, Josh is not the worst chimera.
Tracy was also useful, she might have been one of the most useful if she hadn’t been so
emotionally damaged. You can’t beat the Kanima for durability and strength. The
venom is useful in several ways too as is the tail. People always forget about the tail.
Again, the only thing that got in Tracy’s way was Tracy, right up until she let Theo get this close.
Theo: You can give me your power.
I mean, come on, girl, you saw what he did to Josh. Right?
Hayden: Is that why I'm here with you?
Entering the realm of the less useful chimera we have Theo and Hayden. I rank them together because
they are both mostly werewolf. I mean, all the chimeras had werewolf as a base but these two are
mostly werewolf. Hayden has a little werejaguar and Theo a little werecoyote but really,
they’re just wish dot com werewolves with the added ability to walk through mountain ash.
They’re kind of basic in this universe.
Ticking just over the line into the useless category we find
Donovan and his amazing ability to sprout teeth in all kinds of disgusting ways.
Yes, he could bite you with his hand, but these randomly occurring wendigo features
don’t really get him very far and apparently make it difficult to climb? Donovan’s real superpowers
are his ability to succumb to Theo’s obvious manipulation and to make Stiles feel guilty.
Next up is the coolest of the useless chimeras.
I mean, Lucas could throw up scorpion stingers on his arms which is super cool,
but he apparently could only do it when he was horny which makes him mostly useless.
On balance, as a weapon Lucas could be very useful
as long as you have time to get him aroused before you need him to fight.
Scott speculates that Lucas might be made from a Sumerian mythological creature that was part man
part scorpion. While it probably is Sumerian in origin, the surviving texts that talk about them
are Babylonian. Scorpion men were warriors created by a god to fight other gods and
are mentioned as guards to the gates of the sun god in the Epic of Gilgamesh.
Anyway, cool legend, poor execution on the part of the dread doctors
leaving us with a boyfriend that you don’t dare touch and a weapon you can’t use.
Now we’re up to the winged wonder that started this whole video.
We don’t know what animal or supernatural creature gave Zack his
wings. The vibrating action of the nubbins reminds me more of an insect than a bird.
I’ve heard people speculate that it was something cool like a fury or a succubus.
From the size and placement I get more cockroach or cricket or even bumblebee.
Anyway, the wing thing was just to distract us from the fact that
Zack’s only purpose was to provide explication about the process of becoming a chimera.
Zack: First you forget. You don't know who you are or what you're doing. Then you get violent.
Don't worry black is okay
it's only really over when you start bleeding other stuff, when it starts turning silver.
So yeah, his only superpower was explaining stuff succinctly.
Almost up to the worst of the chimera now as we get to Noah.
Yeah, what to say about Noah. All we actually saw him do was Capri sun some blood bags and then
get lost in the tunnels. He was apparently part berserker which is where he gets the bone spikes
but this actually doesn’t make much sense because the bone things were armor that the
berserkers wore on the outside. But the Dread Doctors could mix anything with anything so
we get what amounts to a walking mechanical pencil that clicks out bone instead of lead.
His bone shards eventually became the unobtainium that the hospital needed to save Sheriff Stilinski
so it got the whole gang off searching in the tunnels and thus revealed Noah’s
real purpose. He was only there to create a snipe hunt plot line.
Finally we’re up to the absolute worst chimera. No offense to the actor, she worked with what
she was given but seriously, who designed this quill girl or needle fingers or whatever she was
supposed to be? What were they thinking when they said, yeah, long wispy and fragile looking claws
and let’s put her in a red turtleneck sweater so the audience instantly thinks of Freddie Kruger.
What exactly were these things for? Knitting maybe? I mean, yeah, she could probably scratch
her own back really effectively but these are in no way weapons unless they’re loaded with
venom or something and even then you’d have to get really close or be really accurate to hypodermic
somebody. Of course we don’t know what she could do because they only ever showed her dead.
These design choices also really screwed over Kira because it looks
like she just straight up murdered a normal girl with a bad manicure.
But getting Kira in trouble was the point, that and the slap.
The lady with the barbed keratin remains nameless but is by far the worst chimera.
Thanks for watching. You go do the YouTube dance now with the liking and the commenting
and the subscribing if you feel like it. I’ll see you next time we go back to Beacon Hills.