- Hey everyone.
Before you watch this very silly video,
we here at The Try Guys are all proud supporters
of the black lives matter movement.
- We're encouraging you to donate what you can
to the Equal Justice Initiative
to help end mass incarceration, excessive punishment
and racial inequality.
- Additionally, there are so many other ways you can help,
like watching Zooey Mira's fundraising video
featuring black artists right here, right there.
- Real change can come, but only if we work together.
We have many more resources below,
but for now keep fighting
and enjoy the stupidest video you'll watch this week.
- Thanks Obama.
Hey graduating class of 2020.
- You've heard from a lot of world-class speakers today,
but get ready to hear from us.
- We know that times are hard right now,
but you persevering and continuing to fight,
well that's pretty sexy and we know sexy.
- No Keith, no.
- Yes, we are going to try on some very sexy costumes
from all of the future careers you might have.
- And because obviously we can't be together,
we're gonna be filming all of these on green-screen
and putting us together,
as if we actually are together
because that's what life is now.
(upbeat music)
- I'm an app developer.
- Hey, I'm a floppy disk,
but that's the only thing floppy about me.
- No, I said I was gonna show you my floppy disks.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
- I'll be the CSS to your HTML.
We might get our wires crossed, but I won't tell.
- Don't look at my softwares!
Let me show you my hardwares.
- I swing both ways.
Mac and PC.
- Yeah, I'm gonna flash you.
My flash drive.
- I won't make your Microsoft.
- My servers never go down, but I will.
- Stick me into you.
Press force and eject to get me out of there.
- There's a surprising amount of storage in here.
- I want you to dream big, very big.
- Beep up boom ooh beep beep boop.
- You're gonna have to show your grandma how to turn me on.
- I'm a doctor.
- And I'm a nurse.
- Oh this care?
It's gonna be intensive.
- Now normally we put this on your arm
to check your blood pressure,
but we do things a little different nowadays.
- Open your mouth and say ahh.
- There are 206 bones in your body,
but I only care about one.
- Oh!
- Okay, I'm gonna be prescribing you 10 cc's of penis-illin.
(groaning)
I hope you're not allergic.
- I see you in my dreams.
(screaming)
- Are you my burst appendix,
because I want to take you out.
(puffing sounds)
- Put on this gown, but leave the back side open.
- I'm gonna give you MRI.
More reliable intercourse.
- Oh, I think your heart just skipped a beat,
which is actually an indicator of a heart murmur.
Very serious.
- Here at The Try Guys we are related
to many medical professionals
and we just wanted to say thank you
for everything that you do.
I'm a solar energy technician.
- And I'm the sun!
- Oh, you thought you liked fossil fuels?
Frak you.
- I got a lot of mass in this ass.
- The Sun is millions of years old
and getting hotter with age.
- They say I got BSE, big solar energy.
(laughs)
- Work with me and you get a juicy tax credit.
- Solar, I barely know her.
- Yeah, you can have all my rays.
I've got so much. - Shine on me sun daddy!
Rain down on me
with your golden rays! - Just absorb all my rays
and they'll electrify you baby.
- I'm the smartest thing in the universe.
Why?
Cause I got a million degrees.
- We need to plug the hole in the ozone,
but there's another hole I'd like to keep open.
- I'm gonna show you my big, long, hard panels.
- I'm a thick ass ball of gas.
I'm a thick ass ball of gas.
I'm flaming!
(laughs)
What, what's wrong?
- [Crew Member] That's great.
- You think the Sun is hot?
Well, it's not as hot as the moon.
- Why drill the earth, when you can drill me.
- Oh you need energy?
It's free from me.
- Ray on me daddy, yes!
Ray on me!
- A tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.
- Oh!
(beep) saving the environment is so sexy.
- People love taking photos of me going down.
- You guys are just waiting for BTS, huh?
And it's probably really confusing to a lot of you.
- I'm Jim.
I'm the HR manager here.
- And I'm Asian Jim.
I am the office manager.
- We can't tell you not to date your co-workers,
but we frown upon it.
- What do we need?
They want a pen?
The pens in the back.
- It's very simple.
You pick a career that's recession proof,
like beet farming.
- You're not here because you're in trouble,
you're here because you did something wrong
and I need to tell you that.
- No, the Pens are behind there, under the drawer.
Let me just get it.
- Sometimes I'll start a sentence
and I don't even know where it's going.
- But you're not in trouble,
you can't get in trouble.
You're an adult, there's no such thing as being in trouble,
but what you did was wrong and I'm going to punish you,
but you're not in trouble.
- Okay, did everyone get the Zoom call?
Barbara, did you get the link?
Barbara, Barbara.
- Do I fear for my future employment?
No, because I am better, faster, stronger,
more resilient than any robot.
- Barbara, you're muted.
Unmute your Zoom.
- That's what she said.
- Could somebody go help Barbara?
You know, I'm just gonna go do it.
One second.
- That's what she said!
- Yeah, there's just really no way to make HR sexy.
I mean, it's pretty contrary to the role of HR.
- I'm a physical therapist.
- I'm here to find out what's going wrong
and get it working again.
- I got this tightness in my groin.
- I sprained my ass making the goal with the basket.
- Oh, what did you hurt?
Oh, did you hurt your little bum bum?
- Hmm, yeah there's definitely something wrong
with your testicle.
- Oh, aw stretch it harder!
- We're gonna need to put a little ice on you, or oil.
What do you fancy?
- Oh, you don't have any back problems?
Well, when I'm done with you, you will.
- It's supposed to be just two-hand touch,
but we got pretty handsy.
- It's not common in this field to prescribe suppositories,
but that's just what we do here.
- Hip pointer?
I barely know her!
- Oh, do you want your quarterback?
(laughs)
- Hey what's up, we're teachers.
- Please see me after class.
- Listen up, you little bitches.
- This is how pop culture likes to represent teachers.
- Ooh, you can fill in all my scantron bubbles.
- Today we're talking about chemistry.
Who thinks they have some with me?
- Don't worry, I grade on a curve.
- Welcome to the first PTA meeting of the year,
penis to ass.
- You want to graduate magna cum laude?
- Brian, you're here, you're always here.
- Students, open your textbooks to page 69.
- That's a little bit lower than a D.
It's like a really big d, kind of like a double d.
- Teacher, I barely know her!
- No one pees until I'm finished.
(laughs)
- In all seriousnes,
thank you teachers for everything that you do.
We have all had several amazing teachers.
- Teachers are awesome, we love you teachers.
We really love you teachers.
- I'm an astronaut.
- Oh hey, I didn't see you there, I'm an alien.
- Oh Houston, we don't have a problem.
- Yeah, I'm a bit of a pickup artist.
I sort of fly around and suck people up out of their beds.
Nobody believes them.
- Oh, you NASAty.
- Mostly I have normal genitals,
but I do have an extra terestical.
Oh, you've heard of the men in black?
Well how about the men in back.
- You know in space, no one can hear you moan.
- It takes many men to operate this rocket.
- Me and my wife really aren't connecting anymore,
you know.
- My asteroids are below the belt.
- And what year did we go to the moon?
1969.
- One of the best ways to get to know someone
you don't know is by sticking something into their butt.
- But she's like oh, I need space,
and I'm like we're in space.
- More like ET bone home.
- Lunar, I barely know her!
- Hi Obama!
- And the final sexy job in your future
could be a YouTuber,
but honestly we think you could probably do better.
Either way, we're really proud of you guys.
- You worked really hard for this moment.
Congrats and don't forget to savor it.
- We believe in you, we know you can do it.
Persevere, we can get through this together.
- Keep trying and whatever you do, stay sexy.
I could have been a scientist.
I was a scientist before this.
Look what happened.
- Maybe I'm a universal chord and you can stick any--
- Ooh, my rocket is launching in three, two, one, ooh!
- Oh, I think we're gonna need to give you an enema.
Enema, enema?
- Oh baby, come with me and we'll be on a cloud together,
like the cloud.
(laughs)
- My best pick up landline?
Dong dong yeaw yeaw!
- You may be wondering why this alien is wearing shorts.
It is because my package was far too prominent
without the shorts.
(groaning)
- Ooh, aww!
(groaning)
- Ooh data daddy.
I'm a data daddy.
- Yeah baby, I'm gonna defragment that ass.
- You know how many bones there are in the body?
I don't care because I got one waiting for ya.
- AP stands for ass placement.
- My name is Mrs. F-U-C-H.
Fuch.
- Oh come on, you knew this wasn't a plutonic relationship.
- Oh me?
I'm gonna graduate cum loudly.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't even try and hide that one.
(upbeat music)
- Billy, you got an F.
I'm gonna have to talk to your parents after I (beep) them.