There are few things sadder than lyrical gangsters clinging to a tiny speck of fame.
Who really needs to spit some truth about their place in the rap game?
Here are a few rappers who should really give up pretending they're still a big deal.
Flavor Flav
Let's face it...
Flavor Flav hasn't been famous since his ridiculous reality show went off the air in 2008.
"Yeah, Flav!"
Today, William Jonathan Drayton Junior is better known for failed business ventures
and drama with the law than he is for fresh music.
There was the time Flav tried his hand at the fried-chicken restaurant biz, but the
budding chain shuttered just months after launching due to alleged bounced paychecks
and management drama.
He opened another chicken joint in Las Vegas in 2012…
"The chicken is good."
...but that venture went belly up within six months too.
And while his poultry dreams failed to take flight, Flav did make headlines in Vegas for
all the wrong reasons.
According to CNN, he pled guilty to misdemeanor domestic violence charges in 2014, accepting
a plea deal that kept him out of jail.
He added to his rap sheet in 2015 when he was charged with driving under the influence
of cocaine in Vegas, and he was back in the news again in the summer of 2017 for trying
to unload a bronze statue of O.J. Simpson for six figures.
Yep, it's time to walk away quietly, Flav.
Coolio
When Coolio burst onto the music scene in the mid '90s, his unique style was a breath
of fresh air.
He won the 1996 Grammy for best rap solo performance, but Coolio hasn't been, well, that cool in
a long time.
That hairstyle stopped being cool decades ago, dude.
Coolio is now better known for misbehavior than his beats.
According to the Los Angeles Times, the rapper was charged with one felony count of possessing
a firearm in 2016 after a gun was found in his carry-on bag at the LA International Airport.
He was sentenced to 45 days of community service and three-years probation, but Coolio confessed
that the whole gun thing was a misunderstanding, saying,
"I do not condone the use of firearms legal or illegal…
I don't do crime and I am not into anything illegal."
Except for stealing bikes and stuff, right?
We're onto you, Coolio.
M.C.
Hammer
In the '90s, M.C.
Hammer was everywhere, and according to Forbes, his net worth at the time was a staggering
$33 million.
But by 1996, Hammer was broke and filed for bankruptcy, claiming more than $13 million
in debt.
Hammer told the Huffington Post,
"I took my money and employed 200 people in my community.
I had a payroll of a million dollars a month at times."
"I really believe in the butterfly effect [so] I'm very happy with my decision."
"Everybody knew that I had 200 employees.
It wan'nt no secret, so what'd you think?
I was paying them in.. in hamburgers?"
Though we don't predict a future back in the rap game, this former mega-millionaire did
at least land a self-deprecating commercial gig.
"Please stop hammer time"
"MC Hammer?"
"But this Hammer hates nails!
Look what you did!"
"Oh.."
Vanilla Ice
Since his huge hit, "Ice, Ice Baby," Vanilla ice's rap career has been put in a deep freeze.
In 2011, he tried to re-emerge on the scene flipping houses on a show for the DIY network
called The Vanilla Ice Project.
He told the Huffington Post,
"I've had a great success in real estate, that's how I've made my investments, how I've
held on to my money, that's how I didn't end up like MC Hammer."
Hammer burn aside, Vanilla Ice did end up like a lot of other faded rappers when he
landed in legal trouble in 2015.
According to Deadline, police discovered stolen bicycles, a pool heater, and furniture on
one of Ice's properties.
He was charged with burglary and grand theft, but the charges were later dismissed in exchange
for nine months of good behavior.
Ice reportedly had no chill in August 2016 when he threw a tantrum after missing a flight.
The meltdown shows the rapper serving up an earful of frustration after missing the boarding
call.
It sounds to us like a certain someone did not collaborate and listen.
Soulja Boy
Not since his 2007 breakout hit "Crank That" has Soulja Boy scored a hit, mostly because
his personal life sabotaged his music career.
In January 2017, Rolling Stone reported that Soulja Boy was charged with two felony weapons
possession charges and a misdemeanor count of receiving stolen property.
He took a plea deal, agreeing to five years of probation and 240 days of community service.
Shortly after that snafu, the "Pretty Boy Swag" rapper got into it with Chris Brown.
"Hey Chris Brown, you ah b----- when I see you I'm gonna beat the f--- out of you."
"Boy, stop it.
I'mma whup your ass.
Adrian Bruner, Set up the gym, bro."
The two reportedly agreed to duke it out in a boxing match, but the deal crumbled.
The event would have been Soulja Boy's biggest audience in years.
Bow Wow
In 2017, Bow Wow suffered the ultimate embarrassment when he was caught lying about his lavish
lifestyle.
The former child star posted a picture on Instagram of a private jet and two Mercedes
vehicles which he claimed to be his… except he used a stock photo.
He was later photographed on a commercial plane with all of us regular folks.
The event spawned the #BowWowChallenge, in which participants shared snaps of luxurious,
but totally fake, scenarios.
Just weeks later, Bow Wow posted a video of him running down a street in Charlotte, North
Carolina, being pursued by fans.
Except other Twitter users claimed Bow Wow paid people to chase him.
Even the city of Charlotte weighed in with total disbelief summed up in a single emoji.
When you're officially dissed by a city, your time is over.
Azealia Banks
If you have a problem with everyone, maybe the problem is you.
And lately, Azealia Banks is producing more beefs than beats.
She's traded virtual jabs with Iggy Azalea, T.I., Lil Kim, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj , Pharrell,
Rita Ora, and on and on.
Not even acclaimed actor Russell Crowe is safe.
"This girl Azealia allegedly tried to throw a glass of wine at Russell and then
threatened to stab him."
At a party in his hotel room in October 2016, Banks claimed the Oscar-winner choked her,
attacked her with racially charged language, and spit on her.
Crowe wasn't charged with anything; authorities determined Banks was actually the aggressor.
It seems Banks' best known album, Broke With Expensive Taste, could become a self-fulfilling
prophecy.
Tyga
Rapper Tyga made a mark when "Rack City" blew up, but he became truly famous after hooking
up with Kylie Jenner... and then he became truly infamous, since Jenner may not have
been 18 when she began dating him.
Adding to the bad press, People reports that he's been accused of dodging child support
payments, failing to make car payments, not paying overdue jewelry bills, and not even
paying his rent.
When the rapper and Jenner split in 2017, what little notoriety he had left fizzled
quickly — though he still seems to be looking for attention.
In June 2017, Tyga posted, and then deleted, a photo of Jenner sitting on a bed, saying,
"They always come back…"
If you're referring to your career, Tyga, don't bet on it.
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