Comeon Chappie!
Yeahhh!!
Oh we are f*cked!
This is not a good idea.
I'm ready and I'm not afraid.
I'm not really an outdoors boy,
I'm more of an inside man.
I'm so cold.
This was my idea, what am I doing?
Well that certainly was a weekend for the books,
and there's plenty of adventure ahead
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Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
We're in Portland f**kin Oregon baby
and we're about to race in the Gambler 500.
500 miles off-road in a $500 car.
The founder of the Gambler was nice enough
to hook us up with a sweet Toyota Corolla.
We don't know what to expect.
This thing sucks.
It's awesome, but it sucks.
When I first saw the car, I was like oh this car isn't going anywhere.
We can't put it through any worse....
Right?
Open the door,
I think that a family of ferrets have been living in it.
I got nervous
I'll be optimistic in front of them but....
This thing's gonna eat terrain!
It's the car you learn how to drive in,
but we're about to learn how to rally in it.
Gonna be a long weekend!
I brought a lot of layers
thermals, my boots, thick wool socks--
--the other guys like didn't bring anything.
Come to find out we're doing camping.
I'm not equipped for the cold.
I'm a fashion f*ckboi. I'm wearing joggers right now...
Yeah Ify and James don't....
They don't go outside much.
What's good y'all?
The car is a member of the group.
Oh that's the sound of speed!
It's not!
It's kind of our like junky friend that we're kind of
getting back on the right path.
Bart's like really good at all "dad stuff".
Like he's not a dad.
He spent the night at my house last night,
and when I got back, he had done all my dishes.
That looks pretty good, what do you guys think?
You missed a spot.
A car that clean can't be stopped.
The Car Boys are gonna get moving tomorrow
and we're gonna join the other cars
on a off-road trek of fun, friendship, fashion, and frenzy.
I think after a good night's rest,
We might even win.
It's like 6 AM.
I'm trying to stay warm it's bright and early.
It's chilly, and we know it's gonna be chillier.
But we got a knife.
What else do we need?
We ran into a little car trouble last night
with the front suspension.
Oh I see the problem
I see the problem right here.
We open the hood and sort of realize there wasn't any...
We fixed that, got to our hotel at around 2 AM.
We did bond with the car.
He's got that custom livery.
Now he's part of Donut.
We even gave him a name--ladies and gentlemen,
Meet Chappie.
I think he's gonna get us from point A to point B.
I think we're gonna have a lot of fun.
A lot of fun in between.
This morning I woke up and my phone was at 8%
but Jesse has this battery thing and so I was charging my phone with that
and then this happened
Nobody cares.
It's a navigation-based rally!
I know I'm being sort of a pessimist about this,
but I am very excited.
Hopefully Pumphrey can keep it together and not cry the whole time.
It's a nice weekend with my best buds
doing car crap and getting dirty.
Our car's a little wimpy.
Some of these other boys got some big old tires,
more power than us, buuut
I think Chappie's gonna do good.
I think we got this.
I feel like a lot of people are like oh it's hard but you know what,
We got this.
I have never met someone more positive than Ify.
We're gonna be like the mouse around elephants.
His positivity is gonna drive us all crazy,
or it's gonna elevate the mood.
Elephants get scared when they see mouse's!
Haven't you ever watched any cartoons?
Uhh technically this is a situation of complicit liability
which means if they're having you sign this waiver,
they know they're liable so hah- hahhh.
Bart is like the dad of the group.
And he's very good at almost everything.
Yeah that's part of the challenge.
Bart's really good to have on a trip
because he does everything.
Does all of the stuff that you don't want to do
He changes the tire.
And he loves doing it.
He's a dad!
YEAHH! GAMBLER BABY!
Everyone that we're talking to is like
you guys ready for a shit show of a weekend?
and I'm like huh what?
I got tires on the roof!
I got a car full of my friends!
I got a new best friend named Chappie
and he's a little champ!
This is the best!
Something loud happened.
We made it and I don't see anything dripping.
I hope it doesn't come back to bite us in the ass.
We're gonna we're gonna keep going.
That rock definitely dented--the floor is lifted
I was like *booosh* right in the middle
Literally I cannot drive in the set tracks because we are so low
that I would constantly be dragging the bottom.
I guarantee you Bart's the one that's gonna get this car stuck.
We start running over rocks, things are bangin.
Oh look at this f**king trench, f**k!
And then all a sudden it gets super muddy!
Oh we are f**ked.
We almost flip--literally! We get two wheels off the ground.
Comeon Chappie!
It was like a mud waterslide in a car.
We make it through, we're super happy, we're super stoked.
We love Chappie, we love each other, and then---
What?
They're telling us to turn around.
There's nowhere to go!
We gotta do that again?
I don't know if you're gonna get up that.
You guys almost f*cking high-sided that thing dude.
Yeah!
I look in the rearview, and then I see this---I'm like 'Oh shit!'
You got a spot to hook to in the front of that?
Yeah.
I got a big ass rigging strap.
Alright.
So we aren't the first people to get stuck.
The limo got stuck before us.
That's like a total win for the weekend for me.
Bart's the one that's gonna get this car stuck.
I don't know whether to feel embarrassed or honored.
Welp, we're level.
yeah.
Let's wait for the Car Boys--the rest of the Car Boys to get to us.
**Mexican horn**
Carolla got towed out. Chappie's safe,
which means Jester and I are walking.
...through this.
Just want to say that there's more than three Car Boys
possibly the most important Car Boy, you don't see very much.
There he is--Jesse the Jester
Jesse will be with us the whole time.
You'll see him more than he would like you to.
Do you still think we're gonna finish?
I don't think anybody's gonna finish to be honest.
What's up fellas?
We turned around and you guys were gone.
Buckle up boys!
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Right. Take a right!
Alright we're gonna stay on this about six miles.
I'm hopeful that we're gonna get up,
we're gonna get down in one piece.
Well I think we do one in between...
Bart is trying to get us to follow the rules but we don't follow rules around here
we're in the wilderness.
We should have been able to go through.
Wait, isn't this where we just came from?
Straight straight straight!
Oh to your right. Right right right right!
F*ck.
I can't f*cking do these two things.....
Bart you're a really good driver but you're a shitty navigator.
That's not true, I just got us where I wanted to take us
and you guys are really bad passengers. because I
Because I didn't want to drive through someone's yard?
But I knew where we were!
Point 4 2 9.
6 0 5.
Look look! Gamblers! It's Gamblers!
We're back! We're back baby! We're back!!
And there you have it!
That one was used.
We're up here at 30,000 feet--
I don't know how high up we are.
But it got cold.
F*cking freez--I'm so cold.
I've never been this cold in my life.
Pumphrey may be a little soft around the edges.
All of my layers are drenched
to the bone
I've had enough driving. Let's just say that.
Pumphrey took the wheel.
Bart was more controlled.
He was like a tactician.
Pumphrey seems like a wild child.
There was like a bloodlust in his eyes.
Chappie!!!!!!
This shit is right up my alley.
Tell my wife, my daughter I love them.
uhhh...
and it was Pumphrey's fault.
Whatever, I'm out here living my dreams.
Our man Ify is driving,
he's a monster behind the wheel.
Will this be our undoing?
Yeah maybe. This is probably..
I'm probably gonna ruin the car.
When you get more excited, you drive better.
I learned that from Fast and Furious.
Yeah, f*ckin, never lift.
Not sure if it's gonna make it. It was coughing...
Sounds clean, sounds clean.
Yeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
boiiii.
I think this is a car that will just continue to surprise you.
We're back on the road because
you can't really drive through Portland off-road.
It's getting dark and we're about an hour and half from camp.
It's a real party baby!!!
This is one of the scariest ordeals of my life.
It's literally the darkest I've ever seen at anything in my life.
The headlights on this car point straight to the sky.
We had to get out and rig them so now they point straight at the road
which is a little bit better.
We can just see the reflections on the line
and it looks like we're flying through like warp speed
Every time another car passes
we can't see anything for a couple seconds
So hopefully we make it to camp.
Uhh, there's a malfunction with our brake lights
so some are going blue and some are going red.
So you do you have brake lights when you touch the brakes
but the one on the right side is broken out or something.
Let me just run a couple things, I'll be right back.
If we don't finish this with Chappie
I'm gonna be really sad.
I'd rather have Bart arrested than Chappie towed.
If you're interested in fixing this,
we are handing out these vouchers that are good for 20% off...
Other than that, try to have taillights when you're driving at night.
Thank you sir!
How much is our ticket?
It's not a ticket.
We don't have a ticket?
He said be careful.
Blue lives matter dude.
Holy shit, we ended right behind
the guys that we started right behind!
Literally that car in front of us was the car
that we were behind we got in line in the starting line!
What a magical day!
We made it! We made it to camp,
after all that we're here.
We made it to camp, lots of trials and tribulations.
The cops tried to stop us--we did it.
Nature tried to stop us--we did it.
It was lots of fun. Whirlwind of emotions.
Chappie tried to stop us a few times--we did it.
I don't know if we went exactly 500 miles, but we went a lot of miles off-road.
And for a 97 broken Carolla.
Everyone here's great.
It's just like a big family here
It's great to be a part of it.
I'm really proud of the dudes,
I'm really proud of myself,
but I'm really really proud of that little car.
We're ready to get going.
Ready to tear some-
-tear some tracks just back to a hotel.
Cause I'm done camping.
I'm excited
to come back
because we're definitely coming back.
I think we're gonna have a renewed sense of self
and the Car Boys are gonna realize
life's a party
Awwww
Awwwwwww
Got---
Awwww!
We gotta get this detailed before we go to Checkpoint 8!