I mean, hurts them to their core,
I'm going to tell you in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert, I'm also an attorney,
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So, I've seen narcissists actually be hurt,
I know you don't think that they can actually be hurt,
but they actually can.
I've seen it happen and really it comes down to this,
they don't want to be exposed for one thing,
but I'm going to boil it down
to basically three things here for you.
So, the bottom line is they want to maintain control,
they want to maintain control all the way to the end and
they'll do whatever they can to maintain control and
there's these various levels and
as you are sort of slipping out of their hands,
they'll do whatever they can to maintain control.
So, here's what's going on here,
you have been under their spell for a long period of time and
they started off with this love-bombing and
then, they went into the devaluing, then, back to love-bombing,
devaluing and back to love-bombing and
during that process,
they were sort of grooming you, conditioning you and
they really thought that throughout the process
that you would never really leave,
even if they left you,
that somehow you'd still sort of be under their control and
that's why even throughout the whole discard process,
they're still trying to love- bomb you in some way,
they’re hoovering you and all that sort of thing.
I mean, when you first start throwing up those boundaries,
that will definitely hurt them,
when they start to realize,
maybe things are shifting,
maybe things are different than they used to be,
that's definitely going to hurt them.
They may not let on right away,
they may posture, they may start to act like bring it on,
they may act like they're not hurt,
I mean, a lot of times they'll say,
“Oh, go ahead, try it”,
They may say, “I don't really care”,
They may say, “I saw what you filed,
that's just a bunch of crap”
or whatever it is that they're saying to you,
it may seem like you're not getting to them,
but I'm telling you, when you go no contact,
you start throwing up those boundaries,
it's definitely going to hurt.
Whatever you're cutting off the supply source,
definitely hurts.
Let me tell you something else,
if you were providing some sort of grade A level supply source to them,
meaning, adulation, compliments, money, sex,
some sort of supply source to them
that they really, really love.
The reason why they won't let you go during the discard phase,
whether it's a divorce situation, or a business situation,
whether you're walking away from them,
as a colleague, a business partner, whatever it is,
they don't want to let you go,
because they're trading that great A diamond level source of supply
for that lower level supply of supply source now.
So, they're going to try to just manipulate you and
make you squirm and make your life generally miserable,
because they get supply from that now too.
So, when you're taking away your supply,
that going no contact and taking your attention away from them,
it definitely does hurt them.
So, if they are in full-on,
I think I am really being charming and
you're really not falling for it anymore,
that will really hurt them.
So, if it's a love bomb move or a hoover move,
like, they think that they are in that mode
where you always fell for it before and
you're really not falling for it this time
that will hurt them even more
because that's their move,
that's the one thing that you've always gone for,
you've gone no contact,
but now, they're going back to the well of what worked before,
or maybe it's a future fake,
maybe it's come on, things are going to be better,
the past is the past, look to the future,
I promise everything will be different,
I'll be the person that you always wanted,
I'll do the therapy or whatever it is.
If it's business, they'll start doing all the things
that they always knew that they were supposed to do.
I remember when I was in a business relationship
with this other person who was a narcissist,
all of the sudden, this person started doing all of those things and
I remember just thinking it was actually insulting
because I remember thinking,
so, you knew you were supposed to be doing those things and
now you're going to do them?
No, thank you.
Now, I just really want to be done with this.
But anyway, walking away from them,
while they're in that love-bomb phase,
or while they're in their charm phase is super hurtful for them,
that will definitely hurt them.
By the way, if you want to know more about what love-bombing is,
you can definitely check out my video on,
what love-bombing is,
I have a like a “Narcissism 101” series of videos.
It's a whole series that you can check out,
but “Narcissism 101: Love-bombing”,
is one of those videos that you can check out.
Let me just tell you, if they are doing that,
just keep walking.
They want to make sure they've got new supply, better supply,
something to show you they’ve got better supply, new supply,
something that kind of shows you that I won,
because they want to be able to have gotten something
to fill that hole, fill that gap,
which of course it’s that black hole that's never filled,
but they want to be able to show you they were able to do it,
show you that they've got something better,
show you that they've got something that will beat you down,
because they get supply from being competitive and
devaluing you and all that sort of thing.
So, that will hurt them too,
you've moved on before they were able to do that,
before they were able to secure that supply,
because they did,
they weren't able to control the situation,
they weren't able to control the damage,
they weren't able to make the decision and
control their kingdom and they feel entitled to be able to do that.
So, if you were able to move on before they were able to do that,
then that will bother them too.
They're very insecure people,
so they weren't able to get to it before you were.
So, those are the 3 things I think hurt the narcissist the most.
So, exposing them in some way,
because they feel exposed,
exposing their diamond level supply,
showing who they truly are, showing their true colors,
exposing them to the world for who they truly are,
that hurts the narcissist clearly the most of all things for sure.
If you guys have any others,
I would love to see them in the comments as well.
If you're getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
make sure to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
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Don't do this alone.
Remember, they only win if you give in,
never give in and never give up.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
It's never too late.
I will definitely see you guys in the next video.