Hi everyone, my name is Riley and welcome to Fortnitely News, the show where, every
two weeks, I talk about stuff that's going on in the world and try not to die.
100 people are going to land on an island, only one can live, and it probably
won't be me, but we're gonna try anyway. Okay, let's -- how far away can I possibly
get from everyone like Flush Factory, yeah, we're gonna go way out there cause
the only way I'm gonna live through this, while also talking about all the news
that's going on world, is by not fighting anyone. And by all of the news that's
going on in the world, I mean a lot of cute fun fluffy news because the world
is depressing a lot of the time. So the first thing I want to talk about while
we're making our way over there is this amazing floofy cat who just stands on
his hind legs, his name is Bruno, and apparently he's super high maintenance and
has this like long list of things that he requires, and he finally got adopted.
It says he needs to be pet during meal times not have his tummy touched and
that his water never be placed anywhere near his food. I love this cat so much
and I've never even met it. But just look at how it sits with its little paws up, it's
so precious. I cannot wait until I have pets they're gonna be wearing all sorts
of ridiculous clothes, they'll be sitting up, hopefully, however it works out I will
love and cherish my animals. Okay we are super far away from everyone so this
should give us some time to get some materials. The next thing I saw that
happened over the last couple weeks is that this Facebook page tried to get a
bunch of people to chop onions and look I'm not -- I'm not a cook -- I'm not a great
cook. I figured a lot of stuff out on my own and so I did a lot of stuff wrong. My
girlfriend can attest to this, but I at least I feel like I know how to dice an
onion, like not really well, I'm not like one of those chefs who's out here like
chopping things ridiculously fast or whatever, but I can chop an onion. What
were some of the people in this -- like what were they doing. I don't understand.
They were just kind of like throwing it around they were like chopping it with
the outside bit still on like I -- I don't understand how you do that. But look I get it
I've done some equally ridiculous things while cooking that my girlfriend and
other people have just been like how -- how did you make it this far in life without
that life skill? But there's finally a cooking thing that I can feel superior
about so here I am. Also I saw this video of this guy
who stopped in the middle the street to get a turtle
out of the street and then took it over to the side and let it out and all the
cars were just stopped waiting for this turtle like I don't know where this took
place but why would the turtle be out there like I've seen deer or like some
other animals I can take I could get like a rabbit maybe but a turtle like
what does it think it's doing -- what, what hope does it have of getting across this
massive road as slow as turtles move, but you know what good on the person for
taking the turtle to the other side. We love a cute little story about a
person saving a turtle, but like knowing my luck, right after I talk about this
someone in the comments is gonna be like, "Yeah well actually it kills turtles when
you save them from walking to the other side." Okay I'm kind of far away from
the circle but I think we'll have time. I just wanna find like some balloons or
something that can help me out, you know. Fortnite introduced balloons and
they're the best thing, if I can just find some, oh we got a rift, that's close
enough, that'll do. Okay ended up finding some balloons actually, which is really
good, and I'm gonna need to use them cause the storm is coming. So five balloons
will just take you all the way up to max height, which is a great, and then we can
just paraglide over to the circle and be fine, and I can use those rift to get out
of any sticky situations, we should be okay. I'm soaring, flying. Okay, on a more
serious note apparently this last season -- last flu season -- at least in America, was
like one of the deadliest on record, so if you haven't gone accident yet, please
get vaccinated, it could save your life or at least save you from being very
very ill. The flu is a serious thing and you need to be protected from it. So
please just get vaccinated for your own safety and the safety of those around
you. Okay not a perfect bush but not a terrible bush either. So the next thing I
want to talk about is my friend Stevie came out as disabled because she was
finally able to get a diagnosis for a bunch of symptoms that she's been having
for like a long long time and she made a really great video about it, and I would
highly recommend you go watch it because it will teach you a lot about disability,
and she recommends some other really great disabled activists in her video,
and it's just lovely and should be like required watching for everyone. I keep
thinking I'm hearing someone and then I'm not, I think we're okay in this bush
for now. But she then started a whole dialogue about how doctors had been like
playing down her symptoms and not listening to her for so long and how for
people with EDS -- ehlers-danlos syndrome -- it can be really hard for them to get --
get a diagnosis so I just think especially if you're abled and like
don't know about any of the stuff that it could be really helpful for you to
learn about that. Facebook apparently is building an app
called lasso that's supposed to be a competitor to musical.ly or like
Tik Tok now I guess. If you remember musical.ly it's like the app that kids
like lip-sync to on. And I feel like such an old person right now because it just
seems like such a youth thing to me like I've never been on musical.ly I have no
plans to go on musical.ly but I know that like tons of kids are there, and I'm just
like oh god I'm getting old to the point where like I don't know the apps that
the young people are using, so that's a scary thought, but then some company
bought musical.ly and now it's called tik tok but Facebook is building a
competitor called lasso and I have about zero hope for this app. Facebook
has made a bunch of like other small apps that tried to take over snapchat
and other things, and they've just never worked. Rhe only thing that really worked
for taking over snapchat was when they just put stories into Instagram. Also now
they're putting stories into Messenger which they could really chill with. They're
putting stories into fucking everything. I think it went well on Instagram and so
they're like oh my god we can put stories in every app we freakin own. But
yeah so I don't see that one going very far but I'm sure if they just like built
musical.ly's features into Instagram it would work. Oh and then I was really trolled
with this headline that says "a North Carolina City banned this Halloween
candy because no one likes them" and then I read the article and the city didn't
ban the candy, like it was from the official page it actually -- it wasn't like
a joke page or anything. Oh my god I'm so close to the circle this is working out
great. But it was from like the official page for some city but like they were
clearly joking about some gross candy, which like honestly I recognize, but I
could not tell you the name of. Like I'm sure I'll put a picture of it up here.
The one candy I've been hearing about this -- a ton around Halloween was candy
corn, and let me just tell you now that this is a candy corn-loving channel, and if
you don't like that, you can leave. Just kidding please stay here, but also candy
corn is great. Oh my god and then so okay there's this article about a Japanese
pop-up restaurant that's serving people last meals of death row inmates. Why! Why
do you have to do that? That is the plot of the -- plot of a horror movie? Or just a
horror movie in general? Like why would you want to eat what someone ate right
before they died from like state-sanctioned
death? Like that's so weird. The sub headline is you can dine on a hamburger
a baked potato a hard-boiled egg and three shots of Jack Daniels just like
double murderer Gary Mark Gilmore. No I don't --
who would want to do that -- why would you get joy from eating the same thing that like
a serial killer ate before they died, and look, do what you want to do like it's
just food, I get that, but like the whole concept behind it is just frying my
brain. Why would -- it's not a thing that's fun,
like I don't go seeking out last meals. I don't know, maybe that's just me. Okay the
storm's coming I should probably get a move on. Okay gonna try to find another
bush that's just barely in the circle. Okay, gonna hide behind this house, please
let the circle -- ahh circle's not here. Okay, alright we're gonna have to move down
there. This is okay. We can do this. Gonna get some stuff from this house first,
just in case I need to fight. Oh perfect a chug jug. Alright, while we're
running I need to talk about the next one, which is that someone
developed an app for dog lovers and when I first heard the headline I thought it
was an app for dogs to date I was like oh cool awesome your dogs can date each
other. No, it's for people who like dogs, which
I feel like is less exciting. I'd prefer an app for just dogs to date.
Who needs people? Okay can we sneak in right over here? I'll just like stay
right down here and maybe no one will see me? Yeah it's just a dating
app for people who love dogs, and like I could really get behind this cause I
frickin love dogs. And it might be the only way for dog lesbians to find each
other because every girl on tinder loves cats. No offense I love cats too, I love
all animals, but if I had to pick one, I would be a dog person. Oh my god, it's on
me, shit, okay, I have the plan. I'm gonna lay a bunch of these, and then I'm gonna
hide under one, and no one's gonna know which one I'm under
Whoa!
It's okay I can just rift out once people get here. This is fine, this is
fine. I hope they don't see me. If they start shooting this, I just need to rift.
While I'm hiding nervously in here, look at this video of this cat that's too big to
be held. Okay they're not shooting mine yet, that's fine. That's fine. We're okay. There's
only two other people left. But look at this cat, look how big it is. Look how floofy it is.
That's the kind of cat I want in my life.
I need like eight cats like that in my house. Oh my god I think he's building
over me. I'm so scared. I can't look at the other stories, I'm just scared. Oh the
other one is that the Japanese princess, Princess Ayoko, oh my god someone's
sniping me -- has renounced her royal status to become a commoner and I would just like
to say, welcome to commoner status with the rest of us. I can't believe this is
actually working, like they're not breaking open my thing. Yeah she married someone
who was a commoner and so apparently that makes her a commoner now. So welcome
to the team. Oh my god there's so much sniping.
Eventually someone's gonna break this open, I think they're using a heavy
sniper to explode all of the things. But yeah, that's pretty cool, marrying for love, becoming a
commoner. Oh no no no! Fuck! Lol, I rifted someone with me. I rifted someone else.
They must have been like right on top of me and so they got rifted too.
Oh my god we're gonna get shot. That person's shooting at us. Oh my god, oh my
god, this is so stressful. This person's gonna have to jump off their thing.
Yeah, okay I want them to kill each other so that I can just pick off one of them.
*gunshots*
Oh crap, oh no no no no!
Nooo!
Oh my god, did I win? I won, they all died in the storm!
Just gonna balloon up here in my victory. We did it, third Fortnitely News
and we got a Victory Royale. Ballooning it up into the stars. *Laughs* Yes, oh my god.
We did it number one out of 100, all it took was for everyone else to die in the
storm. I didn't have any kills! We were just talking about stuff the whole game.
That was the best victory I could have asked for, just everyone dying in the storm, it
was great. I'm so happy right now, and I have one last happy note for us to
end on. So you probably know that the US midterm elections just happened and
a lot of really great stuff happened, a lot of really not so great stuff
happened. I'm just gonna talk about the positive stuff if you want to know about
the negative stuff, go on my Twitter, I've been talking about it a lot, but
some really amazing women of color won congressional seats and I'm just so
excited for them. Some of them included Ayanna Pressley, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Sharice Davids, Rashida Tlaib, and Ilhan Omar. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is going
to be I think the youngest woman to ever serve in Congress, and she's great, like
go please check her out, she's amazing. And Sharice Daivds will be the first
ever queer indigenous woman in Congress, which is huge and so great, and there
needs to be way more indigenous people in Congress. And Tlaib and Omar are the
two first Muslim women to serve in Congress and I believe Omar is the first
hijabi to serve in Congress, and that's all so great, like I'm so here for a more
diverse House of Representatives and I'm really glad that the Democrats took back
the house but I'm even more glad that it was largely led by women and especially
women of color, they're all just doing amazing work, and they need our support
so much. So congratulations to all the women and especially women of color who
won seats in the US House of Representatives, that's so amazing, and
yeah, that's all I had for this episode of Fortnitely News. I hope you enjoyed
some of these weird stories and also a Victory Royale weirdly, but anyways thank
you all so much for watching, if you would like to see more videos like this
you can go to my Patreon, which will be linked over here, and I would really
really appreciate that, or if you would just like to subscribe, you can click up here.
Thanks so much for watching, and I'll see you next time.