In this video, I'm going to be sharing with you information about the male brain that
men are very uncomfortable with you knowing - reasons why men give mixed signals,
keep you on the hook, or don't commit one way or the other.
It's going to be explained all in this video.
I'm also very excited to announce that today is the day I released my book online.
You can grab it only for the next 48 hours for just 99 cents before the price rise, so
hit the link in the description to grab that too.
Hit the subscribe button with the bell and I'll see you for the secret right after this.
[Music playing]
Okay, there is something very important you must know about the male brain
and not only know, but you have to act on it and put boundaries around it.
Otherwise, you will find yourself in this perpetual cycle with guys.
This on and on, on again off again thing, this mixed signals, guys, keeping you on the
hook, texting you once a week to keep you there.
Never fully going but never fully coming in either.
You'll get that pattern right throughout your dating life if you do not know this rule.
Now, this is not for you if you've just been dating the guy for three weeks.
This is for you if you're in a perpetual cycle with a guy.
To explain this concept, I need you to imagine a scale of zero to 10.
This is a scale of emotional connectedness.
Over here at zero, we have totally disconnected, no contact, you're not talking to the guy at all.
There is nothing there.
10, deep commitment.
You're connected to him, you're married, maybe you've got kids.
There is a deep, deep level of bondedness that exists.
Now, I'm sure you can appreciate that getting stuck in the middle with the guy who sends
mixed signals is not much fun. You find it frustrating, anxiety-provoking and men
tend to do this thing, right? You try to push them away and then they all,
they miss you and they come back, they text you again and then they start to get close
to you and they pull away. Men do this frustrating thing where they sit in the middle,
and I'm sure you can identify with it if you've been in this perpetual cycle with a guy.
So where does this come from?
Well, there's two very important things you have to understand about the emotional
brains of men and women.
The fact about men is that men grew brains in tribes of less than a hundred people.
That means men came from a place of sexual scarcity where there weren't many
sexual options. The women were making the choices, and the men had very few to
choose from. Women came from sexual abundance, but while they could get all the
sex they wanted, there was a problem. Sex had the high risk of pregnancy.
This leads to two very important things.
Number one, it means that men do this thing, this annoying thing where they like
to gather sexual options like squirrels gather nuts in the winter.
You've probably found it very frustrating that a guy doesn't just push you away.
He doesn't just go to the zero. He doesn't like to do that.
He likes to keep contacting, keep it at three or a four or five.
Whereas women, women need a quality sexual option, not a quantity.
That means you are more likely to get rid of sexual options quickly and push them
to either a zero, I'm not going to talk to you or a 10, let's commit cause you're
a great sexual option. You see, when you think about this in the spectrum
analogy, men's fears, well, they don't really sit in the middle.
A man's brain doesn't work like yours. He doesn't have to get rid of sexual
options. It's not in his programming. In fact, to do so is actually pretty dumb
as an evolutionary tribal man cause it meant less pass of his, less chance
of his seed being passed onwards. So men will sit in this middle zone,
and you'll notice two things about men who leave the middle zone.
When a man wanders away from you, suddenly you think,
"Oh great, he's not interested. I can get away."
And then he texts you again, calls you and comes back.
It's quite frustrating, right?
His fear of loneliness kicks in.
Men do not have as many emotional connections as you.
So this fear of loneliness kicks in when he hits a two or one and he contacts
you again. The pendulum swings back to the middle, but then, it starts to go
the other way. And men who typically have more masculine energy and remember
the masculine energy and the masculine force thrives in freedom, start to feel less
of that freedom at eight and nine.
So then it swings back and he starts to push you away.
And the pregnancy risk, well, pregnancy was an inconvenience for men in tribal times,
but it wasn't really a negative. It was a much bigger negative for the woman.
So you have a comfort zone in the middle of this spectrum where a man can happily
sit and there's a fear of loneliness or a fear of restriction at either end.
This is why you get this pendulum behavior where guys will swing one way and then the
other. He says, "I miss you." And then he pulls away because he's constantly oscillating
between two fears. Now, these don't really exist for you. For a woman, the main fears
are around pregnancy risk and about guys who are half in, half out.
This area, this four, five, six area causes a lot of anxiety for women.
So women say, I'd rather you just told me no and went away from me,
so let me connect to someone else or commit to me.
But that's not a comfort zone for a man.
So what do you do about this?
Well, my message for you is this, if you're finding yourself in a perpetual on an off
again, on again cycle with a guy, if you're finding you keep getting brought back in
by a guy, but then he pulls away again, if you're finding this frustrating pattern
is occurring in your life, then you've got men who are sitting in their comfort zone.
They're sitting in a four, five or six because that's where the male psychology feels
comfortable and doesn't have to face its fears of either loneliness or intimacy.
It is on you to set boundaries. It is your responsibility that if you don't want men
in your life who are sitting at a four or five or a six to push them off the fence, right?
You can't guarantee which way they will fall, but you can guarantee they'll go one way
or the other.
By the way, if you're enjoying this concept, don't forget to download my book.
It is only available electronically for 99 cents for the next 48 hours.
Right, so you as a woman, it is your job to use healthy boundaries and not let
a guy sit at a four five or a six. He will try all day if you'll let him for months,
sometimes years, sometimes even longer, but that is the male comfort zone and that
is where you have to have the boundaries and awareness to say,
"Hey, this guy's comfort zone is a four or five or six. I need you to be a zero or
at least an eight consistently moving towards a 10."
You are allowed to do that. You're allowed to push the guy out of his comfort zone
and off the fence. Again, this advice is not for you if you've just been dating
someone three weeks and you're getting to know each other.
This advice is for women stuck, for you if you're stuck in the perpetual cycle with
a guy and you cannot get out of it because you never quite pulls away,
but he never quite commits either.
That is the secret of the male brain as to why men like this middle zone
and women bloody hate it.
Don't forget my book is now available as well. Make Him Yours, Beating the
Odds of Modern Dating, just 99 cents on Amazon for the next 48 hours.
Let me know your thoughts on this concept. Hope it explains some things.
Women want zeros and tens. Men want four fives and sixes.
I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
Hit the subscribe button with the bell and of course the thumbs up button
and like I said, check out the book. If you're not sure, you can download the
first chapter absolutely for free. Link's in the description. Thanks again!
I'll see you in the next video very soon.