SHUT UP!!!
Hey man, whatcha doing in this stupid boring office? something boring and stupid?
You know, Just getting ready for, FOOD BATTLE X
Food battle X?
No. Its 2015, What are you talking about?
You know X, cuz this is our tenth food battle.
Plus, Everyone knows using X makes things way cooler.
Megaman X
Superbowl X
X ... Men?
Ten men?
Forget it! (idiot)
I'm going to interview 8 totally awesome foods
Then I'm going to hold a vote to help me find the perfect one
to kick you and your stupid pink frosted sprinkled donuts a**
Cool!
I'm in!
What! No! Get out of here man I can't trust you!
You got it all wrong bro...
I want you to find the most bada** food just as much as you do.
Think about it
This is our tenth food battle!
We got to make sure it's the most epic
nonsensical, bullsh*t battle we've ever had
Right?
Rigggghhht??
Soooo... let me help you
Ok send in the first food
Ah zucchini, thank you for coming in. Please take a seat.
If it's all the same... I'll stand
Sure... ahh
I see all you wrote on your resume was the word kill...
and it appears to be written in blood
It's what I do
Ooo ooo my turn question
Are you a psychopath?
*creepy laugh*
Is it psychotic to spend your summer living among the coyotes
howling at the moon
Is it psychotic to say that The Phantom Menace is your favorite movie of all time
Is it psychotic to rip out a man's spine and play jump rope with it..
While you stare deep into his cold pale eyes, as they drift away into lifelessness
No way.. No way man.. That's aaa.. Totally normal
Heh.. You sound like the kind of guy I'd want my mom to meet..
Listen, if i am voted in...
...that pink frosted sprinkled donut is a dead man.
A DEAD MAN!!
Do you hear me?
Here is my card.
You know when people say that usually they..
..actually hand over a .. business card or something.
I am the wind
wahooooooo *crash* oooooo..
Man, What a psycho!
The Phantom Menace?
ugghh
Ah.. i'm bored.
Are the interviews over yet?
Dude. we've only done one so far
Fi..ne.
Send in the next talking food thing.
Howdy.
i'm the edible cactus.
You're the edible who now?
Cactus.
I'm the edible cactus.
Are you sure you're not confusing yourself with...
..A cactus.
Nope. i'm edible.
I'm the edible cactus.
Dude. you can't just put the word edible in front of something
and then claim you can eat it.
yeah. This is
FOOD BATTLE..
not, not food battle.
Heh. Good one, right?
oh sugarfoot. y'all dont believe me? Well..
Give me one sec and y'all can see for yourself.
uhhhh
Oh my god! what are you doing ? stop.
uhh...no no. almost got it.
I'm edible. You'll see.
it's ok. i believe you. i believe you .
Stop trying to rip your own face off...
Hmm...cactussy..
my face will grow back right?.
Ha . Totally.
*whispering* It won't. i think he's gonna die Anthony.
I'll save you a trip to google
yes, edible cactus is in fact a real thing.
And thats when i realized the male foreskin is just a myth.
You know you dont have to speak between these interviews right?
NEXT!
uhh.. hello you must be baguette
What?
I'm sorry. What?
What the F*** are you saying?
ooohh.. I .... still don't get it.
Yeah. I have no idea what he just said there buddy.
*sighs*
You'd like to remove a huge mole?
your iguana doesn't have a soul?
you'd like to share a bed with Dave Grohl?
you recently saw batman's butthole?
ahhhhh *crash*
oh man, we just got that wall replaced.
What's that guy's problem?
yeah. i know, right?
if i got to see batman's butthole. i 'd be a lot happier than that.
And for the simple sentence "John is yellow", John acts as the subject
and "is yellow" acts as the predicate
Are you understanding?
What?
Why, hello! I'm flan. I'm here for the Food Battle interview
I appreciate your kind consideration for this flantastic opportunity
Kissa**, ugh, cough, ugh, agh
It sure is flanderful to meet you!
Ugh, f***ing flans, man. That pun was almost as lousy as your taste!
Hehe, I taste great, flank you very much!
Objection!
Dude, settle down, and this isn't a courtroom
Overruled! Flan totally sucks
She comes in here being a total kissa*ss, using all these lamea** puns
and I can't take it! What are you supposed to be anyway, huh?
Cake? Pudding? Make up your god*mn mind!
Okay, maybe you should sit this one out man.
Oo, why don't you go play with the new hand dryers in the bathroom or something?
Stupid flan, totally sucks, stupid wet soggy crappy cake! *door slam*
Gee, someone woke up on the flan side of the bed this morning, am I right?
Ope, would you look at that, uh, my hands are so wet.
Ian, dude, wait for me! *door open, close*
Oh, well, this is awkward. Eleflant in the room
Uh, hello? Anyone?
I worked really hard on all these puns, okay? I'm a comedic god!
Please love me