Hi Tripp, really enjoying the podcast. I'm 40 years old and live in Melbourne,
Australia. This is from Adrian. Adrian, do you like how I pronounced that correctly?
Pretty sure I did. Melbourne, Australia. You continue and say, you've spoken about going
out solo to bars. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to do this? By which I mean,
what do you do when you walk up to a joint by yourself? Do you hang by the bar or walk around
the venue? If you could offer some advice on how to approach this that would be great. Thanks,
mate. Adrian. You know what I'm going to do? Adrian, I'm going to answer your question
and then I'm going to do an episode where I talk about this more in depth, although...
maybe what I'm about to say right now is all you need to know. So we'll see. My answer is this...
and I've done this before, I can speak to this. First I'll say when you go out alone, there is
nothing like the amount of lessons you're going to learn when you go out alone to talk to women.
The amount of lessons that you're going to learn is just incredible. What I mean is,
it's hard to go out alone. You're gonna learn more because you're going to be forced out of
your comfort zone. Now you're asking, what do you do? Here's the tip... here's the trick... here's
the number one tip for going out by yourself... if you're not going to remember anything I say
for this answer, just remember this... when you go out alone, you got to approach
immediately. That is the number one tip. The longer you wait to knock out your first approach,
the harder the rest of the approaches are going to be with your approach anxiety. And if you don't
have your approach anxiety, it's still going to be hard because you got to be warmed up.
You just have to be. It doesn't matter if you have no approach anxiety or lots of approach anxiety,
you got to be warmed up. I remember when I would go out solo, and it wasn't too long ago, I did
it a lot throughout my... since the time I learned how to meet women. I've been doing this a lot. And
I always remember the nights that were the hardest were the ones that I didn't just go and approach
as soon as I could. You've got to approach as soon as you can to knock that out and just get into
state. There's a term called getting into state, which means you're getting into this mode of okay,
I'm out and I'm talking to women tonight and I'm being social. It's social mode.
You don't want to be hanging by yourself. You said do you hang by the bar or walk around the
venue? You start approaching as soon as you can and that means anyone. This means even
a girl you're not attracted to, it could mean the bouncer, it could mean talking to
the first group of guys, anyone you can see. People in line, just talk to them,
just get that going. And then yeah, that's what you're gonna do, you're just gonna
walk around the venue. Here's the thing too... you got to understand, when you're out alone,
people are not paying attention to you as much as you think that they are. You are always going to
be the center of your universe so you assume that everyone's looking at you, judging you,
talking about you, paying attention to everything that you're doing... it's just not the case,
and I can prove it right now. When you're out, whether it be alone, or in a group of people,
are you looking around and noticing a guy who's walking around talking to a bunch of girls?
Probably not. You don't even notice that because if a guy is going to a bar and approaching a girl,
you're just assuming that that guy is with him. You're not even paying attention. You're
not even necessarily paying attention to the other people around you. You're paying attention to you.
The only time you're probably ever paying attention to a lot of people around you is if
you yourself are in the situation where you're trying to go and talk to women. In that case,
you're not judging anybody, you're just finding a woman that you want to talk to. So don't be
concerned with what people are thinking about you. Another thing that people do, related to
my first tip here is you think you got to go to the bar, the bar is the safest place because
it's the least vulnerable place because no one is paying attention to you, you can lean
against the bar, you can order a drink. Don't do that. Do an approach as fast as you can
and then reward yourself by going to the bar. And I don't recommend drinking, try to do this sober.
I recommend going to the bar and ordering yourself a water, tip the bartender because you might be
going back for another water later and I think it's the right thing to do. Get a water and if you
want to be more sly and look like you're drinking something, get a club soda and lime. It looks like
you're drinking a vodka tonic, gin and tonic or something like that if you really want
to. But I wouldn't focus on that as much. More importantly, do your approaches, go out there,
talk to as many people as you can. Do it right away. And if you've done enough approaches where
you're like, I've approached this whole bar or I've approached enough people and I want
to go to the next place. You go to the next place and you do it all over again.