- I don't know what it is.
Just doesn't quite feel like Christmas to me.
- Oh, yeah.
(audience laughing)
- See, now it feels like Christmas!
(Christmas music)
- Merry Christmas!
- [Ross] Just the one divorce in '99.
- Ah.
- What are you doing here, weird turtle man?
(audience laughing)
- I'm the Holiday Armadillo.
Your part Jewish friend.
(audience laughing)
You sent me here to give Ben some presents, remember?
- What?
(audience laughing)
- Hey.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Well, I thought a lot about what you said
and I realized maybe I was a little judgmental.
Yeah. Oh, but oh.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, now. Phoebe, remember, hey.
They're just fulfilling their Christmas...
- Destiny.
- Sure.
- Yes.
- Right.
- Okay.
Yikes. That one doesn't look very fulfilled.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, that's one of the old ones.
He's just taking it to the back.
- You keep the old ones in the back?
That is so ageist.
(audience laughing)
- Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
- So what happens to the old guys?
- Well, they go into the chipper.
- Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds.
(suspenseful music)
No, no!
Oh!
- Hey, hey!
All right, here we go. 1999, the year of Joey.
(audience laughing)
- We're very happy for you.
- What's the matter?
- We wanted to kiss at midnight,
but nobody else is going to, so you know.
- All right. I'll take care it.
- No.
- Joey. Joey.
- 33, 32.
- Ross, Ross.
- 31.
- Ross, listen. Who are you kissing at midnight, huh?
Rachel or Phoebe?
- What?
Well, you got to kiss someone?
Can't kiss your sister.
- Well, who's going to kiss my sister?
- Chandler.
- Oh man, really?
- Dude, dude. Who would you rather have kiss your sister?
Me or Chandler?
- That's a good point.
- Yeah.
(audience laughing)
- Well, since I have that whole history with Rachel,
I guess Phoebe.
- Okay, great.
- All right.
- Pheebs, Pheebs.
Listen, Ross wants to kiss you at midnight.
- It's so obvious.
Why doesn't he just ask?
(audience laughing)
- Rach, Rach listen.
I'm going to kiss you at midnight.
- What?
Well, everyone's got to kiss someone.
Can't kiss Ross. You got the history.
- So?
- So who would you rather have kissing you? Me or Chandler?
- Oh, good point.
- Yeah.
(audience laughing)
- [All] Three, two, one.
Happy New Year!
(upbeat music)
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year, Pheebs.
- You too.
- Happy New Year, Joey.
- So, that do anything for you?
(audience laughing)
- Halo and Merry Christmas.
Oh, thank you sir. Here's some joy.
(audience laughing)
- Hey.
- Hey, I came to see how it's going.
- Well, it's going okay.
- Oh, good.
Here, let me help you out.
- Oh thanks.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
Is that a new suede jacket? It looks really expensive.
(audience laughing)
- Yeah, I guess.
- Just get your nails done?
(audience laughing)
- Yes, Phoebe, but this is all I have, okay?
- Oh, okay. Thanks.
Happy holidays. Here's your joy.
- Thank you.
You guys haven't gotten your presents yet?
Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. What are you going to do?
- Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
(audience laughing)
- Rach, these are for you.
- Wiper blades.
(audience laughing)
I don't even have a car.
- Oh, we got a live one!
- Oh, it's a Macy's bag.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Ooh, who's it for?
(audience laughing)
- Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents
under the couch?
(audience laughing)
P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you.
(audience laughing)
- And these come in the shapes
of your favorite Christmas characters.
Santa, Rudolph and baby Jesus.
(audience laughing)
- All right. I'll take a box of the cream filled Jesus'.
(audience laughing)
- Happy Hanukkah, Monica.
May your Christmas be snowy, Joey.
Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross.
Spin the Dreidel, Rachel.
(audience laughing)
- A donation has been made in your name
to the New York city ballet.
(audience laughing)
How did you know?
- Are you kidding? I can't return this.
(audience laughing)
- I thought it was time we started thinking
about other people.
And besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
- Mine says, "to Lillian Myers".
- I don't have a job.
(audience laughing)
- (indistinct mumbling)
- [All] What?
(audience laughing)
- The ball is dropping!
(audience laughing)
- [Newscaster] In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.
- And the moment of joy is upon us.
- Looks like that no date pact thing worked out.
- Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
- Not everybody's happy.
Hey Bobby.
(audience laughing)
- [All] Happy New Year!
- You know I just thought I'd throw this out here.
I'm no math whiz but I do believe there are three girls
and three guys, right here.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
- I can't kiss anyone.
- So I'm kissing everyone?
- No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
- Perfect, perfect.
So now everybody's getting a kiss but me.
- All right, somebody kiss me.
(audience laughing)
Somebody kiss me, it's midnight.
Somebody kiss me.
Somebody kiss me, it's midnight.
It's one time.
- There.
(audience laughing)