>>> AND NOW LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS, IT'S "OOPS YOU DID IT AGAIN,"
WITH YOUR HOST BRITNEY SPEARS. >> HEY, Y'ALL.
IT'S BRITNEY, BITCH. YOU KNOW ME FROM MY FUN UP BEAT
INSTAGRAM VIDEOS AND THE WORD CONSERVATORSHIP.
SO BASICALLY I STARTED THIS SHOW "OOPS YOU DID IT AGAIN" SO
PEOPLE COULD COME ON AND APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THEY'VE
DONE WRONG. AFTER THE FREE BRITNEY
DOCUMENTARY CAME OUT, I'M RECEIVING HUNDREDS OF APOLOGIES
A DAY. I'D LIKE TO GIVE A QUICK
SHOUTOUT TO OUR SPONSOR, THE NOTES APP.
ARE YOU MAKING AN APOLOGY 20 YEARS LATE?
GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS WITH THE NOTES APP.
LET'S WELCOME OUR FIRST GUEST. AND WHILE THE MUSIC PLAYS, I'M
GOING TO DANCE. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> PLEASE WELCOME TEXAS SENATOR TED CRUZ.
♪♪♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
>> HOLA, EVERYONE. HEY, BRITNEY.
>> HEY THERE, TED. YOU LOOK TAN.
>> OH NO, I'M NOT TAN. I CRIED MYSELF RED OVER MY
FELLOW TEXANS. THAT'S WHY I DRINK IN THEIR
HONOR. >> TEX IS GOING THROUGH A HUGE
CRISIS RIGHT NOW. >> REAL BAD.
>> THEN YOU LITERALLY ABANDONED IT AND FLEW TO CANCUN FOR A
FAMILY VACATION. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW I'M IN A LITTLE BIT OF HOT WATER, WHICH I'M TOLD NO ONE IN
TEXAS HAS. >> WOULD YOU LIKE TO APOLOGIZE?
>> ABSOLUTELY. I DEEPLY REGRET MY ACTIONS OVER
THE LAST COUPLE DAYS, MOSTLY FLYING UNITED.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SORRY.
I'M PRETTY BAD AT HUMAN STUFF. >> SO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE
ARE CALLING YOU A COWARD? >> COWARD IS ACTUALLY THE NICEST
WORD I HEARD. LET ME ASK YOU THIS.
WOULD A COWARD HAVE THE CAJONES TO BLAME HIS ACTIONS ON HIS
YOUNG DAUGHTERS? >> YOU BLAMED YOUR DAUGHTERS?
>> OH YEAH, THE WHOLE TRIP WAS MY GIRLS' IDEA.
THEY LOVE CANCUN. THERE'S SO MUCH FOR KIDS TO DO.
THE TOPLESS BEACH, SHOPS AT SENIOR FROGS, SWIMMING WITH
DOLPHINS. THEY LOVE IT.
>> AS SOMEONE WHO WAS OFTEN BLAMED FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S
PROBLEMS AT A YOUNG AGE, LEAVE YOUR DAUGHTERS OUT OF THE
SPOTLIGHT BECAUSE YOU COULD REALLY MESS THEM UP.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> YES.
MY NEXT GUESS ALSO HAS SOME SPLANIN TO DO.
DO YOU WANT TO DANCE WITH ME, TED?
>> I THINK MY FELLOW TEXANS WANT TO SEE ME HAPPY RIGHT NOW, SO
LET'S DO IT. ♪♪♪
PLEASE WELCOME NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO!
>> HEY, HI, HELLO. ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> GOVERNOR, DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE TODAY?
>> IS IT BECAUSE INDOOR DINING IS BACK IN NEW YORK?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> RIGHT?
>> GOVERNOR. >> ALL RIGHT, I KNOW.
IT'S BECAUSE OF THE NURSING HOME STUFF.
>> AND WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE NURSING HOME?
>> SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIED IN THE NURSING HOMES WERE NOT
COUNTED AS NURSING HOME DEATHS. THEY WERE COUNTED AS HOSPITAL
DEATHS, WHICH IS BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENS AT DISNEY WORLD, OKAY?
PEOPLE DIE AND THEY MOVE THE BODIES.
THEN THEY SAY, OH, I GUESS BRENDA DIED IN THIS SWAMP, NOT
ON THE TEACUPS. SO WE JUST DID THE DISNEY THING,
ALL RIGHT? ARE WE DONE HERE?
>> I LIKE YOU. YOU'RE FROM NYC OR AS I CALL IT
TRL. DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO
APOLOGIZE? >> YEAH.
>> I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT? >> I SAID I WAS SORRY.
>> SEE? THAT WASN'T SO HARD.
PEOPLE JUST WANT ANSWERS. de BLASIO SAYS YOU OUGHT TO BE
INVESTIGATED. >> THAT BIRD BITCH SON OF A LOOK
WHAT? WHAT DID THAT BIRD BITCH SAID
ABOUT ME? I WILL BURY HIM IN THE TALLEST
GRAVE THIS CITY HAS EVER SEEN. I WILL HIRE A HOBO RICK MORANIS
WHO WILL HIT HIM SO HARD HE WILL THINK HE'S BACK IN UNIVERSAL
PRE-K. >> WE'RE BOTH STRONG,
MISUNDERSTOOD MEN. >> DO NOT ASSOCIATE YOURSELF
WITH ME. >> OKAY.
>> WE ARE NOT THE SAME. >> SORRY.
>> I AM A MAN. YOU ARE A CLOWN.
>> I ACCEPT THAT. THANK YOU.
>> AND IF YOU MESS WITH ME, I WILL SEND YOU TO A CLOWN
HOSPITAL. >> HONESTLY, THAT SOUNDS FUN.
>> WHEN YOU DIE, I WILL NOT COUNT YOUR BODY.
>> ALL RIGHT. LET'S READ A LETTER FROM A FAN
AND SEE WHAT THE FOLKS AT HOME ARE CURIOUS ABOUT.
DEAR BRITNEY, ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH.
SO I GUESS I GET THAT QUESTION A LOT.
I AM PERFECTLY OKAY. EVERYTHING IS GOOD AND I AM
NOT TRYING TO SEND PEOPLE SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES THROUGH MY
VIDEOS. MY FINAL GUEST WAS FIRED FROM
THE MANDALORIAN FOR SOMETHING SHE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
PLEASE WELCOME ACTOR GINA CARRANO.
[ APPLAUSE ] ♪♪♪
>> HI, GINA. ARE YOU HERE TO APOLOGIZE?
>> I'M HERE FOR THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.
I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. NO ONE CAN EVEN EXPLAIN WHAT I
DID WRONG. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
EXPLAIN IT. >> ON INSTAGRAM YOU SAID
CONSERVATIVES HAVE IT HAS BAD AS PEOPLE LIVING IN NAZI GERMANY.
>> OKAY. CONGRATS.
YOU EXPLAINED IT. I NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE THAT
NAZI COMPARISON IF I KNEW EVERYBODY WAS GOING TO BE SUCH A
NAZI ABOUT IT. >> DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE A
VICTIM OF CANCEL CULTURE? >> ABSOLUTELY.
DISNEY IS THE MORAL HIGH GROUND? HAVE YOU HEARD BRIAR RABBIT'S
ACCENT ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN RECENTLY?
>> IF YOU DIE ON IT, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO MOVE THE BODY.
>> I'M GETTING A LOT OF MY OLD TWEETS USED AGAINST ME TOO.
WE'RE BOTH THE SAME THING, GIRL, STRONG, MISUNDERSTOOD WOMEN.
>> DON'T ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH ME.
>> SORRY. >> I AM STRONG AND YOU ARE A
PILE OF SOUP. I AM FIRST CLASS AND YOU ARE
COACH. >> BUT I'M ON THE UPGRADE LIST,
THOUGH. >> IF YOU COMPARE YOURSELF TO
ME, I WILL BLAST YOU TO THE DESERTS.
>> ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF TEXAS. >> THAT IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE.
BEFORE I GO, I JUST WANT TO SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR ALL OF US,
WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT TIMES ARE HARD RIGHT NOW.
PEOPLE ARE STRUGGLING. WE NEED TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND
FORGIVING OF ONE ANOTHER. I PRAY FOR ALL OF YOU THAT YOU
BE SANE AND WELL AND BE WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOU GUYS? >> I'M GONNA CRY.
>> SO BLESSINGS TO ALL. >> AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!