[ APPLAUSE ] >>> WELCOME BACK.
OUR NEXT GUEST STRUGGLED WITH
HIS IDENTITY, AND WHEN HE WAS
FINALLY FREE OF THAT BURDEN,
UNFORTUNATELY, HE DID NOT FIND
RELIEF.
RELIEF. >> NO.
>> NO. WHAT HE ENDURED AND SURVIVED IS
NOW THE SUBJECT OF A FILM.
IT’S CALLED "BOY ERASED."
TAKE A LOOK.
>> WELCOME TO THE REFUGE
PROGRAM.
PROGRAM. COME ON.
COME ON. >> Reporter: BOY ERASED" IS THE
LATEST FILM GENERATING OSCAR
BUZZ, STARRING NICOLE KIDMAN,
RUSSELL CROWE AND LUCAS HEDGES.
>> I THINK ABOUT MEN.
I DON’T KNOW WHY.
AND I’M SO SORRY.
>> Reporter: THE MOVIE’S BASED
ON THE 2016 BEST-SELLING MEMOIR
AND POWERFUL TRUE STORY OF
WRITER GARED CONLEY.
GROWING UP IN ARKANSAS, CONLEY
LIVED A NORMAL CHILDHOOD, WAS A
BLACK BELT IN TAE KWON DO AND
WAS EVEN CROWNED HOMECOMING KING
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
>> NICE SETTING WHERE A LOT OF
PEOPLE WOULD HANG OUT IN EACH
OTHER’S HOUSES AND WE WOULD DO
POTLUNGS AT CHURCH.
>> HE WAS THE ONLY CHILD OF
STRICT PARENTS, AND THEIR LIVES
REVOLVED AROUND CHURCH.
>> I HAD A VERY CLOSE
RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
>> Reporter: BUT WHEN CONLEY WAS
19, HIS IDYLLIC LIFE CHANGED IN
AN INSTANT.
AN INSTANT. HE SAYS HE WAS SEXUALLY
ASSAULTED IN COLLEGE BY A MALE
FRIEND.
FRIEND. SOON AFTER, THE SAME MAN OUTED
HIM AS GAY TO HIS PARENTS.
A FATHER, A SOON-TO-BE PASTOR AT
HIS CHURCH, CONFRONTED HIM.
>> I WAS TOLD THAT I COULDN’T
ACT THIS WAY, I COULDN’T BE AN
OPENLY GAY MAN AND STILL BE PART
OF THIS FAMILY.
>> Reporter: HIS PARENTS
IMMEDIATELY SENT HIM TO A GAY
CONVERSION THERAPY PROGRAM IN
MEMPHIS CALLED LOVE IN ACTION,
HOPING TO CURE HIM OF HIS
HOMOSEXUALITY.
HOMOSEXUALITY. >> THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TOLD
MY WHOLE LIFE, GOD CAN CONVERT
YOU TO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO BE.
SO, I BELIEVED THAT CONVERSION
WAS POSSIBLE.
WAS POSSIBLE. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I KNEW
THAT THESE FEELINGS THAT I HAD,
THEY WEREN’T GOING AWAY.
>> Reporter: WHILE AT THE
PROGRAM, CONLEY SAYS HE HAD TO
LEARN TO BE MORE MASCULINE WHILE
ENDURING PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE
AND SHAMING.
AND SHAMING. >> WE HAD TO READ THESE THINGS
CALLED MORAL INVENTORIES.
BASICALLY, WE HAD TO LIST OFF
ANY SEXUAL EXPERIENCES OR
THOUGHTS THAT WE HAD EVER HAD.
>> HE BEGAN TO QUESTION THE
THERAPY AND BECAME INCREASINGLY
DEPRESSED.
DEPRESSED. >> NONE OF THIS IS WORKING.
TELLING ME THAT I NEED TO HATE
SOMEONE IN ORDER TO BE CURED.
HATE TO ME FELT LIKE THE
OPPOSITE OF COMPASSION.
>> Reporter: AFTER TWO WEEKS AT
THE PROGRAM, HIS MOTHER PULLED
HIM OUT.
HIM OUT. >> SURVIVORS WHO ARE STILL
SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU ARE THE
BEST TESTAMENT TO HOPE AND
CHANGE.
CHANGE. >> AND TODAY, HE HOPES THIS FILM
WILL INVOKE CHANGE AND ENCOURAGE
OTHERS TO SHARE THEIR OWN
STORIES.
STORIES. >> IT IS SUCH AN EYE-OPENING
FILM.
FILM. I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO WATCH
IT.
IT. GARED CONNELLY IS WITH US NOW.
>> THANK YOU.
>> LET’S TALK ABOUT THE TIME YOU
CAME OUT.
CAME OUT. YOU KNEW YOU WERE GAY, GROWING
UP, AS WE SAW, IN ARKANSAS.
AND THE EMOTIONS YOU WERE
EXPERIENCING AT A TIME, THOUGH,
MATTHEW SHEPARD HAD BEEN
MURDERED --
MURDERED -- >> MM-HMM.
>> MM-HMM. >> THAT WAS IN THE HEADLINES AND
YOU SAW THAT.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> WHAT WERE YOU FEELING?
>> I MEAN, PEOPLE IN MY
CHURCH -- YOU KNOW, IT WAS A
REALLY CLOSE-KNIT COMMUNITY,
LIKE I SAID, BUT I WOULD HEAR
THINGS IN CHURCH, LIKE OH, HE
DESERVED IT.
DESERVED IT. AND THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT MY
WHOLE FAMILY REALLY FEARED IF I
CAME OUT, YOU KNOW.
THEY DIDN’T KNOW, BUT IF THEY
HAD EVER KNOWN, THEY WOULD HAVE
THOUGHT, OH, IF HE CAME OUT, HE
WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE
WOULD END UP LIKE MATTHEW
SHEPARD.
SHEPARD. >> WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THAT,
HEARING IN CHURCH, A PLACE
THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT LOVE
AND ACCEPTANCE, TOLERANCE, AND
YOU’RE LIVING THIS SECRET AND
YOU HEAR SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING
AS HATEFUL AS THAT, WHAT GOES
THROUGH YOUR MIND?
>> WELL, I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE
COMPLICATED.
COMPLICATED. AND THERE WAS A LOT OF LOVE
THERE.
THERE. THAT’S THE THING.
SO, YOU’RE JUST, YOU’RE
THINKING, OKAY, IT MUST BE EVIL,
IT MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG.
BECAUSE THE IDEAS AT THE TIME
WENT ALONG THE LINES OF, HEY,
YOU KNOW, YOU DON’T COMMIT
MURDER IF YOU’RE ANGRY.
SO THEY USED THIS LOGIC TO SAY
YOU MIGHT HAVE A TEMPTATION, BUT
THAT’S NOT WHO YOU ARE.
THEY CALLED IT SAME-SEX
ATTRACTION.
ATTRACTION. SO, IT WASN’T WHO YOU WERE.
IT WASN’T YOUR IDENTITY.
IT WAS SOMETHING THAT, YOU KNOW,
YOU FELT.
YOU FELT. >> YOU COULD CONTROL.
>> SO, YOUR PARENTS, WHEN THEY
CONFRONTED YOU, YOU DECIDED TO
GO TO GAY CONVERSION THERAPY,
THAT WAS WILLINGLY, RIGHT?
>> WELL, I MEAN, IT WAS KIND OF
UNDER DURESS.
UNDER DURESS. >> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> I HAD BEEN OUTED AGAINST MY
WILL, AND MY PARENTS BASICALLY
SAID WE CAN’T IMAGINE YOU BEING
UNDER OUR ROOF AND CONTINUING TO
BE PART OF OUR FAMILY UNLESS YOU
DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE.
AND WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE WORDS,
THERE’S NOT REALLY ANYTHING ELSE
YOU CAN DO OTHER THAN TO SAY
YES.
YES. I MEAN, I WASN’T FINANCIALLY
INDEPENDENT.
INDEPENDENT. I DIDN’T HAVE FRIENDS THAT WERE
OPENLY GAY.
OPENLY GAY. I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO LEAVE THAT
LIFE BEHIND.
LIFE BEHIND. AND ALSO, MY FAITH AS WELL.
I WASN’T READY TO DO THAT.
>> SO, TALK ABOUT WHAT LIFE WAS
LIKE INSIDE THIS CONVERSION
THERAPY CENTER.
THERAPY CENTER. >> WELL, WE ACTUALLY WERE PLACED
WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT WERE
DEALING WITH A LOT OF DIFFERENT
ISSUES, LIKE BESTIALITY,
PEDOPHILIA, MARRIAGE ISSUES, AND
WE WERE ALL GROUPED TOGETHER
UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT WE
WERE ALL ADDICTED TO SOMETHING,
THAT WE’RE SOMEHOW ADDICTED TO
WHATEVER HAD HAPPENED TO US OR
WHATEVER WE FELT.
AND THAT WAS INCREDIBLY
DAMAGING.
DAMAGING. YOU CAN IMAGINE IF YOU’RE
SITTING NEXT TO SOMEONE DEALING
WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND
THINKING, OH, I MUST BE LIKE HIM
OR HER.
OR HER. THAT’S INCREDIBLY DAMAGING.
AND THEN WE WOULD DO -- YOU
KNOW, WE HAD TO CONFESS EVERY
SEXUAL IDEA THAT WE HAD EVER
HAD.
HAD. >> A MORAL INVENTORY.
>> MM-HMM, MORAL INVENTORY.
>> ALSO, THERE’S A SCENE IN THE
MOVIE I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT
BECAUSE IT’S SO POWERFUL, WHERE
THEY DO A MOCK FUNERAL, WHERE
THE GAY PERSON LIES ON TOP OF
THE COFFIN, AND THEN THE FAMILY
MEMBERS HIT THEM WITH THE BIBLE.
DID THAT HAPPEN?
>> YEAH, SO, AARON, WHO WAS
ACTUALLY AT THE PREMIERE, IS THE
STORY THAT WAS BASED OFF OF.
HE’S STILL ALIVE AND HEALTHY
NOW.
NOW. >> THANK GOODNESS.
>> BUT YEAH, THAT KIND OF STUFF
ACTUALLY HAPPENED THERE.
>> PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
LET’S BRING IN DR. JEFFREY FISH
BERGER, A PSYCHIATRIST FOR THE
TREVOR PROJECT AS WELL, AND A
LOT OF GREAT EFFORTS THAT THE
TREVOR PROJECT IS TRYING TO DO
TO MAKE SURE THAT THESE KINDS OF
CENTERS DO NOT CONTINUE TO
EXIST.
EXIST. >> AND THIS DOES STILL EXIST.
>> IT STILL DOES, YES.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT
700,000 PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY
HAVE UNDERGONE CONVERSION
THERAPY.
THERAPY. 350,000 WHILE ADOLESCENTS.
AND YOU THINK ABOUT THIS, THE
IMPACT THIS HAS ON A YOUNG
PERSON GOING THROUGH THIS.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> IT DOES MORE DAMAGE THAN
GOOD, I WOULD IMAGINE, RIGHT?
>> THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO
EVIDENCE TO SHOW THAT THIS DOES
ANY GOOD OR THAT IT WORKS.
AND TO THE CONTRARY, THERE ARE
NUMEROUS STUDIES SHOWING THAT IT
CAUSES SEVERE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
AND HARM TO PEOPLE WHO GO
THROUGH IT.
THROUGH IT. THERE’S A STUDY FROM 2009 FROM
THE AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL
ASSOCIATION THAT IT INCREASES
DEPRESSION, SELF-HATRED, LOW
SELF-ESTEEM, SUICIDEALITY, AND
THE MOST RECENT STUDY IN 2018
FROM THE FAMILY ACCEPTANCE
PROJECT, WHAT IT SHOWED WAS THAT
FOR YOUNG PEOPLE WHO GO THROUGH
INHOUSE CONVERSION THERAPY,
MEANING WITH THEIR PARENTS, THE
RATE OF SUICIDE INCREASES FROM
22% TO 46%.
AND IF THEY GO IN HOUSE AND
OUTSIDE WITH THE THERAPIST AND A
RELIGIOUS LEADER, IT WILL TRIPLE
TO 62%.
TO 62%. >> 35 STATES STILL HAVE SOME
FORM OF THESE KINDS OF CENTERS.
JUST REAL QUICK, I WANT TO SAY,
YOUR MOTHER HELPED YOU GET OUT.
YOUR MOTHER SAVED YOU.
AND YOU AND YOUR FATHER HAVE
WORKED THROUGH SOME OF THE
ISSUES.
ISSUES. >> YEAH, WHAT’S LIFE LIKE NOW?
>> WELL, MOM WAS AT THE PREMIERE
IN NEW YORK AND L.A.
>> AND LOVES NICOLE KIDMAN,
PICKED NICOLE TO PLAY HER.
>> I THINK MY MOM THINKS SHE IS
NICOLE KIDMAN.
NICOLE KIDMAN. THEY ACTUALLY LOOK A LOT ALIKE
IN THE PICTURES.
BUT YEAH, SHE GOT TO STAND ON A
STAGE WITH NICOLE KIDMAN WHILE
1,700 PEOPLE GAVE HER A ROUND OF
APPLAUSE, A STANDING OVATION.
>> THAT’S AMAZING.
WE LOVE MARTHA.
>> AND IT WAS KIND OF THE BEST
GIFT I COULD GIVE TO HER, YOU
KNOW?
KNOW? WE’VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT, SO
IT’S NICE.
IT’S NICE. >> YOU’RE HAPPILY MARRIED, TOO.
>> YES, I AM.
>> YOU’RE SO BRAVE TO WRITE THIS
BOOK AND THEN NOW SEE YOUR LIFE
ON A BIG SCREEN.
>> YES.
>> YES. SURREAL.
SURREAL. >> THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR
STORY.
STORY. >> OSCAR NOMINEE BUZZ ALREADY.
BE WATCHING THIS ONE, "BOY
ERASED."
ERASED." THEE THANK YOU.