- One ounce of Purple Urkle,
two ounces of Fisherman's Friend,
and a half ounce of Alabama Kush.
(Dr. Wagner laughing loudly)
(upbeat music)
- Another one of your faves South Park.
But before we get into it,
if you're new to my channel, welcome.
My name is Dr. Jordan Wagner.
I'm an ER doctor.
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All right, let's dive right in.
- So can I get a referral from you?
- For what? - Medicinal marijuana.
There's a shop that opened in the old KFC,
and they said I needed a doctor's referral to buy weed.
- Back in the day,
a doctor used to have to write a medical marijuana card
to use it for medicinal uses,
medicinal meaning like medication.
That's why now, in a lot of states in the United States,
you don't need a script to go get marijuana at a dispensary
and you have to be over the age of 21.
So it's almost like buying alcohol in the United States.
- Medicinal marijuana is for people who aren't healthy.
- No. - Aids patients,
cancer patients, you know, people going through chemo.
The THC helps them eat and take the pain.
- Well, true, but it's also really good
for like nausea as well,
for cancer patients or HIV patients.
People could also use it for anxiety, chronic pain.
There's a lot more uses now.
- Well, so doctor, how do most people get cancer?
- Well, there's a lot of ways you can get cancer.
- Yeah, but what's the quickest way?
- Cancer, in general, is not something to joke about,
not to get so you can get secondary gain
of getting marijuana, or pain pills, or anything like that.
- Testicular cancer. - No!
- Linked to exposure to high doses of radiation.
- This is horrible!
There are so many ways
that we don't even totally understand,
environmentally, food,
that increases your risk for cancer.
So why the heck would you then knowingly
do something to increase your risk for cancer for marijuana?
Like, come on, oh my gosh.
- Mr. Marsh, I'm afraid that the test came back positive.
You do have testicular cancer.
- Now can I finally get my prescription, please?
One ounce of Purple Urkle,
two ounces of Fisherman's Friend,
and a- - Holy cow!
- 'Bama Kush.
- That is horrible.
This doesn't happen in real life,
but it's a funny depiction of what could happen.
Typically, if you do have testicular cancer
and you're getting nodules on your testicles, you should,
as somebody who has testicles,
palpate them to see
if there's any nodularity or irregularity to them.
And then if there is,
you need to be seen by a physician,
or get ultrasounds, or do other testing.
But they typically do not get melon sized
where you have to carry them in a wheelbarrow.
- He's very lucky you got him here when you did.
He was in a very advanced state of vaginitis.
- Vaginitis occurs in somebody who has a vagina.
And it's basically inflammation of the tissue
around the vagina and on the inside too.
- Vaginitis? - What?
- It occurs when a person stops eating meat,
those sores on his skin were actually small vaginas.
If we hadn't stopped it in time,
Stan will have eventually
just become one great, big, giant (beep).
- Whoa, dude.
- Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the?
Sometimes you can get vaginitis
if you have multiple partners,
or if you have new sexual partners,
and easily treated.
Not this whole stop eating meat kind of thing.
Not cool, and it just doesn't go everywhere
on your body like that.
- We've got an IV of pure beef blood
pumping into Stan's veins and the sores are fading.
- Pure beef blood, no.
If you're actually getting some other animal's blood,
there's a chance that you can actually
have an allergic reaction or your body's gonna reject it,
so you gotta be very careful.
Treatment for vaginitis,
depending on potentially the source,
it could be an antifungal or an antibacterial medication.
- Thank God we stopped it in time.
- Well, I guess we learned something today.
It's wrong to eat veal,
because the animals are so horribly mistreated.
But if you don't eat meat at all,
you break out in vaginas.
- Here, here. (Dr. Wagner laughing)
- Sorry for all the vegetarians and vegans out there.
This is horrible.
I don't think you're ever gonna get vaginitis
on your face or your body, or turn into a big vagina,
if you don't eat meat.
You can get your source of protein
through many different avenues.
Wherever you wanna get your protein source from,
that's where you get it, no judgment.
- What is it exactly you're trying to do?
- Just, you know, make some money off him,
like Honey Boo Boo.
- Honey Boo Boo, who's Honey Boo Boo?
- Honey Boo Boo's heart gave out.
- Oh. - My name's Honey Boo Boo.
And I'm a beauty queen, bitches.
I'm only six and I've already
had three heart attacks. - What, oh my gosh.
♪ "Staying Alive," "Staying Alive" ♪
♪ Di, di ♪
See, it works with the CPR.
So a heart attack is a blocked blood vessel
that causes decreased blood flow
to a certain part of your heart that doesn't pump well.
A heart attack could lead into a cardiac arrest,
but there are other major causes for a cardiac arrest
where you would actually have to do CPR on somebody.
- Well, the doctor said Honey Boo Boo
needs a heart transplant.
- A six year old with a heart transplant?
- They're gonna do a surgery and put a pig heart in her,
so we're going to the ranch to pick out a hog.
Honey Boo Boo is gonna do pageants with a pig heart
and we wanna pick a hog that has pizzazz
and knows how to work it, girl.
- I want that one!
- I don't know about you,
if my heart were to not work anymore,
I think I'd rather have a human heart than a pig heart
just because it's the same species.
Research has shown that you can actually transplant
a pig heart into a human heart and have it function.
- I just hope when she does her pageants,
the judges don't take away points
'cause she's got a pig heart.
- Yes, we use pig valves.
We can use prosthetic hearts.
You can use another human's heart.
There are different things that you can use.
The surgery is quite complicated.
- Honey Boo Boo! - What!
- What you gonna tell them judges
if the ask you about your heart?
- I'm gonna tell 'em my heart is sweeter than bacon, child.
- Oh my gosh.
You wouldn't be able to be awake during the surgery, right?
You'd be out cold, intubated,
sedated with IV medications, as well as gases.
And then her mom wouldn't be in the operating room either.
And now I see her crawling around on the ground.
- Pig heart now she thinks-
- And acting like a pig.
(Honey Boo Boo snorting)
- Show 'em your scar. - Oh my gosh.
- This my scar, 'cause I got a pig heart.
My scar makes me sassy, child.
- We call that a zipper basically,
where you have to cut through the skin,
and the sternum, open up the ribs,
to get to your heart
because it's protected really well.
And then to actually close it up,
you actually use chicken wire.
But, no, would you have this reaction
by getting an organ from another species?
No, you wouldn't start behaving like that.
(Kyle mumbling)
- Kyle? - Oh, Kyle's not doing well.
- Kyle always have been a diabetic,
and lately his kidneys have just been shutting down.
- If your sugar is totally under control as a diabetic,
you're not gonna have any peripheral neuropathy,
kidney injuries, heart injuries, nothing like that.
You're just living your life.
But if your sugars are out of control or crazy high,
they start like causing nerve damage, kidney damage.
You need to control your blood sugars as best you can.
'Cause when you do that, you'll live a long fruitful life.
- Have you tried holistic, natural medicines?
They work wonders, I read all about it in "People."
- Really, in "People"?
- There's a brand new shop in town
that sells holistic medicines and all natural foods.
It's run by this fascinating woman
named Miss Information. - Oh, no.
- Misinformation, like giving you wrong information.
We're plagued by misinformation,
but "South Park" nailed it on the head
in this episode years ago.
- You see the reasons our bodies fail is because of toxins.
- Getting your medical knowledge from "People" magazine,
from a Miss Information in a New Age shop,
these things are totally unregulated.
So medications in the United States are regulated,
but herbs, supplements, these things are not regulated,
and you actually have no idea what is truly inside of them.
- Toxins?
- All the horrible food we eat.
The sodas and meats are filled with toxins.
And the only way for us to get better
is to flush those toxins out of our system.
- Sure. - Western medicine is so quick
to cut and carve up.
- I think an easier way to adopt
getting the toxins in your system
to allow your body to work
is to stop ingesting those toxins.
And our bodies are amazing, and they wanna be homeostatic,
and they will clear out things out of our bodies.
But typically your body clears out
most of the things that are bad for us.
- But all your son needs is a toxin flushing diet
of lemon juice and cayenne pepper.
- Wow, that's amazing, Miss Information.
- Do you hear that, Kyle?
You don't need surgery after all.
- I've heard this before.
Lemon juice and cayenne pepper.
Yeah, try it first before you're having major surgeries.
If it works, wonderful.
But, obviously, it might be the first step
to try before having major operation.
But then there's also the placebo effect
of a positive mind thinking
that if you believe something's gonna work, it will work.
So if anybody's done cayenne pepper and lemon,
let me know in the comments, all right?
- Going out and playing around with chicken pox
almost killed you all.
- Chicken pox parties occur,
they don't really occur too much,
but let's see what's going on with these kids.
- Stanley, how are you feeling today, son?
- Pretty good.
- The doctor says that maybe you could-
- Whoa!
So are the parents.
- Stanley. - Wow, cool!
- And how are you-
- They all have it around their mouths.
- Okay. - I'm better now.
(Kyle and Stan laughing)
- What's so funny, you two?
- We gave you guys herpes.
- What, what, what?
You did this?
- We got you back for getting us sick.
We had a prostitute use your toothbrushes and stuff.
(Dr. Wagner laughing)
- That is funny and messed up.
Chicken pox is actually a type of herpes virus as well.
Chicken pox is called varicella, we give vaccines out.
For people who have herpes,
you can use any antiviral meditation
to help reduce the shedding and to hurry up your symptoms.
- Hey, how come you don't have sores on your lips, ma?
- Oh, well, I have them somewhere else, poopykins.
- Oh, messed up, so messed up!
'Cause you can share them, you can spread them,
and now you're stuck with it for the rest of your life.
- Well, I know one thing for sure.
- What's that, Eric?
- We're all gonna need a lot more calamine lotion.
(Dr. Wagner and kids laughing)
- So calamine lotion is just a non-specific
like anti-itch medication.
It's pink and it dries on the tissue.
Typically, you'd use it for like poison ivy,
or poison oak, poison sumac, all that stuff.
But you can use it for anything that itches.
(kids laughing)
- And Kenny died.
- Oh my- - Every time.
- They've killed Kenny! - You bastards!
- Chicken pox actually could cause complications
that can cause long-term medical problems and/or death.
All right, I love "South Park."
It's weird, so I've actually seen "South Park,"
but I actually don't ever remember
seeing these medical clips.
Maybe it was before I was in medicine that I saw the show,
but now these are hilarious.
I do wanna watch more of these,
but I also wanna keep my reactions fresh.
I'm gonna keep doing more "South Park" videos
just to keep you guys entertained.
Do you have a favorite TV show or movie
that features medical situations
that you want me to break down further and explain?
Let me know which show or episodes in the comments below,
or if I missed any "South Park" scenes
that I should check out for another video.
As always, make sure you subscribe
if you wanna see more fun videos like this one.
And check out my doctor reaction series right here
to see all your favorite TV shows.
Thank you so much for watching and stay healthy, my friends.
(upbeat music)