(beeping noise)
[Sergio Cheatos] My ears!
My ears!
Who set the alarm!?
[Pilar Rubio] Me
(grunting)
[SeORGIO] I'm deaf now!
I need to learn sign language
(grunting)
That's a yellow card for you!
(grunting)
One more.. and you're OFF!
(sighing)
(toast pops out)
Agh!
My eyes!
[Pilar] What happened??
[SeORgio] A really sharp crumb...
Hit me right, in the eyeball!
(grunting continues)
I'm blind!
Deaf and blind!
(sighing)
Second yellow! You're OFF!
[Pilar] What?
[SeORgio] Pack your bags...
And get the hell... OUT!
Taxi!
Ooh! Agh!
You hit me!
I think my legs are broken!
I'm going to call the police, you'll be sent DOWN!
[Sam the Second Animator] Se単or Ramos! Oh, I'm so sorry!
Let me give you a free ride to make up for it!
[SeORgio] Least you can do...
[Dean ???] So, you want me to shave a line in your eyebrow? Like the other football idiots?
(giggles)
I mean, like the other very cool and stylish football icons?
[SeORgio] Correct
Agh!
You cut me!
Agh!
My eyebrow has been shaved off, who the hell are you? Eduardo Scissorhands?
[Din] Mr. Ramos, i'm so sorry!
Please, let me give you this haircut for free!
Gratis, no pail
[SeORgio] Maybe this cut isn't that deep..
After all.
Single please.
(grunt 2x)
I've been shot!!
I must have been shot!
The velocity of that ticket was like a bullet from an AK-47
(long grunt)
I'm going to sue you so hard!
(grunting followed by a scream)
[3rd Animator] Your bill, se単or!
(groan)
It sliced me open! Worst paper-cut of all time! The gap is so deep!
I have to retire from football because of this!
[3rd] Please do not tell my manager, I will lose my job!
[Dean brother] Is everything okay?
[SerOGio] Your waiter just amputated my hand! Forcing me to retire from my highly lucrative football career!
(slaps)
[Dean bruv] Senor Ramos, what can I do to make this up for you?
Would drinks on the house for the rest of life help in any way at all?
[SerOGio] I suppose the wound is starting to heal, finally.
Fine, i'll have the same again.
(slaps)
[Dean Bruv] Get him his drink at once, then pack your things, you're FIRED!
(sigh of relief)
(rock music starts playing)
(sniffs up)
(choking)
[SerOGio]The disgusting scent, of *cough* Pique's aftershave, has closed my lungs!
To... Collapse... I.. Dying!
[Random Guy] It's just an advert, you can't smell anything!
[SerOGio] Tell my mother.. *choking* and CR7 *choking* I love them!
[Remind Someone] Senor Ramos, that man over there has sent this wine over and asked me to say that there are no hard feelings
[SerOGio] A glass of wine for the Champions League winning Captain, least he could do...
(drinks then shrieks)
*coughing and choking*
Help!
It's poisoned! I have *choking* been POISONED! Somebody *choking* please save *choking* me!
*dies*
[The Old Lady] Serves you right Ramos you cheating shitbag!
*clapping*
What else might happen in a typical day of the life of Sergio Ramos? Comment below, and who do you want to see next in this series? Comment below too! Thanks for watching! Toodlepips!
Subtitles made by Community and Jack London