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Hey guys, it's Kat and I am back with another reaction video. And before I get into this video,
I wanted to thank you guys so much for loving what I'm making on this channel. You guys make
me smile so much. I love my followers. You guys leave such amazing thoughtful comments, and I am
so flattered to be a person who has such an amazing audience. So thank you for joining
Demi Lavato made a very interesting post on social media about gender reveals. And I
thought that I would give you guys my reaction to it because I got tagged a couple of times
by people who were curious what my thoughts would be. I do not know too much about Demi
Lovato. I think she's bisexual. Hey Google, what is Demi Lovato sexuality?
My apologies. I don't understand. Google said stay the out of her business. I feel like I remember
people saying that she was bisexual. I have some feelings about gender reveal parties. Um,
I will say that I mostly don't care. I think that having so many parties for a baby is kind of
like a lot to me. That seems like a lot. Um, so I don't personally get it. These are some
very passionately posted things, so let's go over them. So it starts out saying on gender reveals
transphobic, Oh, why gender reveals are transphobic? Um, graphic design is my passion.
It's both easier and incorrect to pretend that gender reveal parties are not transphobic.
You can't have your proverbial pink, blue binary cake and eat it too. This is not political
correctness. It's just correct. We condemn gender reveals not because of our identity,
but because of reality, transphobia is not about to prejudice against individual trans people. It's
also a way of thinking that understands the non trans people as more natural slash organic and
erases everyone else. You think he has like the gender binary feel mistreatment of all people,
but especially trans and gender non-conforming people. Gender reveals are based on the illusion
that genitalia equals gender. And that there are two, there are only two options,
boy or girl. This definition of race is the fact that, that there are boys with vaginas
and girls with penises. And that there are people who are neither boys, no girls.
The idea that sex is based. I'm going to tell ya, it's inconsistent with science.
Gender reveals require not just the invalidation of transmits, but the impossibility of transness.
The assumption is that the baby is cis. Cisness is positioned as a default and everyone else is
understood as derivative. The idea does while we might identify as trans. Now,
we were originally born at SIS and we later became trans when in truth, everyone is born
and we all become after the fact, even though we might have grown accustomed to other people,
generating us that doesn't make it right. Only individuals can determine gender, gender reveals,
uphold the gender binary and the binary prevents people from observing reality. Instead it offers
culturally and historically determined that norms, for example, pink used to be considered
a mmasculine color as personhood, people are taught to experience themselves and one another
as ideas of how they should be not the reality of what they are. And what is, this is a law didn't
that we adopt conscripted ideas and gender, what men and women should be, and the scripted ideas
of gender, what nanny winning fundamentally and this way it naturalizes cultural myths and
biological facts. So long that trans and gender nonconforming people are achieves at advancing
in gender ideology. When in fact we are trying to escape it, the real ideology, if the system that
emphasizes the denial and individuality in the service of maintaining category.
Oh, and I think that's it. So I have thoughts on this. So this was actually originally by, um, Alok
V Mernon I believe is the way to say the name, um, who is an activist, who I believe is, um,
non binary. We've talked about them before on this channel and another video that I've done. Um, but,
um, I got some thoughts and feelings about this, right? So you guys know that I can only really
speak from my own perspective as a trans woman. And so I will do that, um, personally, um, I don't
have a massive issue with gender reveal parties. I really don't. Most people who have a penis
will be men when they grow up. Most girls who have vaginas will be women when they grow up. That to
me is not a terribly shocking facts. Um, that being said, I do think that it is worth examining
the ideas behind the party, because oftentimes what you do at a gender reveal party is not just
project gender, but also this whole idea of who this person is supposed to be when they grow up.
And for me, what I have, um, personally had a hard time with, with my own family is that
my parents adopted, you know, what they thought were two young boys, right? And so they had all
of this expectation for raising young men. And when I start to recognize myself and,
and see my gender more clearly, I had a very, very hard time reconciling my desire to be myself,
with my desire to be favored by my parents because of the narrative that they chose for me before I
was old enough to understand that that's what happened. And for me, it's of course worsened by
the fact that I'm, um, and my parents definitely deliberately chose to raise these two young boys,
um, and then turned out not to be the case. Some of you guys already know my story, but when I
came out to my parents as trans, I had already been living full time for years because I was so
afraid of disturbing that narrative that they had for me, they had already let go of certain things.
Um, but yeah, I think it's been very, very hard for them to fully let go of me being this man that
they imagined me as when I was a child. They have, they really probably did imagine that I would grow
up to be the complete opposite of what I am right now. Um, and obviously since I'm adopted
disappointing my parents, um, a really, it's a really upsetting thing for me because they're
the only parents that I know I lived a lot of my life for a really long time, time, not being
honest with myself, let alone the people around me because I wanted to be loved by them. And
let, let's just say, if my parents threw a gender reveal party for me, let's say that my parents are
my birth parents and they threw a gender reveal party for me. I don't think that as a trans adult,
I personally would care that much about the fact that they threw a gender reveal party.
I would probably care more. Well, I do care more if when I revealed my gender to them,
they, um, didn't want to party about it. Did. I mean, I think
parents who are already throwing a party for their kid, that's a good foundation.
I want for them to be able to throw a party for their kid, regardless of what their gender is.
I have been enjoying this thing that some people have done where, um, they throw a gender reveal
party, but they throw it just to sort of say that their gender is yet to be determined,
because I do think that that does encourage people to think a bit differently about gender,
because I know that a lot, like when you see kids two were raised without the pressure to be
neither here, nor there, I think that they are demonstrably more, self-assured happy people.
I think every person, every person who has parents probably knows the specific stress of
trying to live up to what your parents I want you to be. But trans people often, you know,
have to live through that in a very dramatically different way. We're often up rooting these ideas
of who we are that were set in stone from birth and, and, and replacing it with something that is
so radically different. With age. I learned that my parents were not prepared to have a child like
me. My parents did not have the resources or the understanding to even get what was going on in
my life. And so I have been enjoying, seeing parents be more thoughtful about this. I do
think that if you are a parent who is thoughtful about the kind of impression that you projecting
your narrative of the gender of your child on, you know, if you're worried about that sort of thing,
I do maybe agree that maybe not having a gender reveal party is a great idea.
I think a gender reveal party is probably fine for most people though. I think most
people will probably have a gender reveal party and it won't be a really big deal. You know,
I care more about how people will accept their transgender children. I care more about
how people will embrace their trans kid. Um, because let me tell you, I got into a lot of stuff
because my parents were not embracing of me. If I had the love, the unconditional love, the full
love that a parent would have for their child, for their, their, their, the gender of their child.
My life would have been so different. I would have had a very, very, very, very,
very different experience with so much in my life. If my parents were more accepting of me,
I'm really curious what you guys have to say about gender reveal parties.
If you agree with Demi Lovato's reposting of Alok V Menon posts, I don't know. I guess it's
just like, I don't sit around and think about how terrible gender reveal parties are aside from the
fact that like, they, they keep causing fires, I guess, you know? Um, but I don't know. I, to me,
it doesn't, I think that it, again, if my parents threw a gender reveal party for me, when I was a
kid, and then you, you know, were accepting of me and when I came out to them as trans,
I think it would have been a okay for me, I guess. Um, I do agree with, you know, maybe this idea
that projecting gender on a kid is, is unhelpful, but hourly. No. If we need to do away with gender
reveal parties, maybe I'm not woke enough. I don't know. I guess I'm a bit sensitive to this idea
of let's get rid of this thing that is fine for most people, but not fine for the few that it is.
I think that, you know, we should throw a party, you know, when the kid gets old enough to know
their gender and we could reveal it there and have a whole party about that. Um, you know,
maybe that should be the tradition, but I would love to hear what you guys have to say about this,
what your opinions are, what your thoughts are. I know you guys will leave some really,
really great comments that I am really looking forward to reading through all of them. So, yeah.
And just for the heck of it, if you made it through this entire video, please put this in
the comment box below all of the coolest sexiest, hottest people that are cool for the summer would
put the emoji in the comment box. I'm just saying anyway, I'll talk to you guys next time. Bye.