[Music]
my name is Zeus ramjet and to start off
I want to tell you all that I have never
used the hashtag me too has anyone in
this room used it the reason that I
never use the hashtag me too and by the
way to be clear before it gained the
mainstream attention that it enjoys
today the media movement was started by
an african-american woman ten years ago
called Tirana Berk and I never claimed
it because I did not feel that what I
had been through was severe enough for
me to be called a survivor of sexual
abuse I did not feel that I was
qualified when other people have been
through so much worse and the more I
talk to people the more I realized this
is a very common feeling we are often
not sure what qualifies or constitutes
sexual abuse because abuse of course
does exist on a spectrum and I want to
be clear on this a spectrum is not a
hierarchy we do not need to prioritize
abuse according to its severity we only
need to acknowledge the diversity of
abuse nevertheless my consent has been
violated and I don't know a single woman
whose consent has not been violated in
some way the media movement is of course
pivotal and important to make our word
our world a better and safer place
however today I want to move beyond it a
little bit so there is an author an
American author called Rebecca Solnit
and she wrote this really interesting
essay that analyzes the language we used
when we are warning women about sexual
abuse so this is called the case of the
missing perpetrator and in this she
takes the example of these guidelines
for the safe consumption of alcohol that
was published by a US Health
Organization among other things these
guidelines say the excessive consumption
of alcohol is commonly involved in
sexual assault alcohol consumption may
lead to violence a Rebecca Solnit in her
essay very rightfully questions why
these sentences are phrased in the
massive voice I am an English teacher
and one of the things that I teach my
students is that there are two ways to
say things in English there is the
active voice in the passive voice she
was raped passive voice he raped her
active voice now Rebecca Solnit asks why
we always use the passive voice she
points out that presumably since it is
not the bottle of alcohol itself that is
going to get up and assault you and yet
reading these guidelines they completely
omit the subject they omit the fact that
if one is violated in a situation
involving alcohol there must be a
perpetrator who commits a crime right
and she writes in scene worlds violence
has a cause and that cause has agency
and consciousness it must be a living
entity and quote so why are we not
naming that entity why don't these
guidelines say men who have consumed
alcohol may be more unlikely to be
violent
right now when I read this essay it got
me thinking about how we frame warnings
about sexual abuse in general regardless
of substance abuse and another thing
that I teach my students is that a
complete sentence in the English
language must contain two things a
subject who the sentence is about and a
predicate which means a verb right so I
started looking a lot of sentences about
sexual abuse and I heard a lot of women
are raped women are harassed
seven-year-old girl raped and left for
dead woman murdered my husband twenty
boys forced into child pornography and I
didn't hear man murders wife man rapes
woman men harass women why are we so
afraid to say that it is an objective
indisputable fact man rapes girl and
leaves her for dead man force twenties
boys into child pornography ring
and so on now you might be thinking well
yes it's because it is an obvious fact
that it is a man who raped the girl and
the child but abusers can be any gender
so it is important to specify
nevertheless 99% of abusers are men and
so even if it's obvious it's very
important to say it because if we don't
say it
we cannot question it and if we don't
question it we will never understand it
and if we don't understand it and we
will never be able to change it you can
never catch perpetrator whose existence
you have taken for granted
you've normalized you've treated it like
a natural force almost like the monsoon
you've made him invisible you cannot
catch it invisible criminal right now
all the statistics say things like 70%
of people have experienced a sexual
abuse in their childhood but you have to
remember even that equation like the
sentence is incomplete because it begs
the question if 70% of people have been
molested in their childhood what
percentage of people are child molesters
if 1 in 4 women are raped then what
percentage of men are rapists assault is
not something that just happens it is
something that is done by someone and we
have to start looking at those people
and holding them accountable and this is
a form that I wrote called hashtag you
do this is not a poem about me - after
pages and stages soaked with the trauma
of survivors I wish to say hello to the
shadows beyond the looking glass this is
a poem for the men on the other side of
the hashtag this one is for you sir
you do professor everyone's favorite
liberal teacher you too neighbor you too
driver trusted servant you do
independent film director NGO founder
you do activist feminist slogan tote bag
vendor
you do mr. poet you do mr. president you
do children's author you do Marxist
feminist academic friend of Gayatri
Spivak you do class clown you do walk
comedian you do communist party member
you do published in The Paris Review you
- organiser of literary fests you do
women's study major you do fellow abuse
survivor you too uncle you too cousin
you do star-crossed lover you too
brother
at do at do at do father I want to be
clear that the media movement focuses on
the survivor for a reason our first
priority should always be the narrative
of the victim to see what they are
comfortable with not to prescribe to
them how they should deal with or react
to their trauma to give them space to
speak to listen to their story and to
aid their healing because only from
there can reform an understanding of the
nature of assault and only then can we
move forward towards preventing it and I
want to be clear that no victim or
survivors should be forced to name their
abuser unless they are comfortable doing
so and there is a reason that victim so
often are not comfortable naming their
abuser I'm afraid that the media
movement perhaps focuses on victims not
just because they want to tell their
story and focus and give them a platform
but also because of what happens when an
abuser is named in our society what
happens when a survivor comes out with
their story and this is a poem I wrote
about that have you all heard the story
about the boy who cried wolf this poem
is called girl cries wolf girl cries
wolf and no one comes running girl cries
wolf and the townsfolk scratch their
heads girl cries wolf and the doctor
asks if the wolf had fangs girl cries
wolf and the professor asks if she has
tried closing her eyes perhaps if you do
not see the wolf the
will not see you back go cries wolf and
someone asks if she's sure it's not a
puppy
girl cries wolf and all the pitchforks
are off duty girl cries wolf and the
lunch lady asks why she fled girl cries
wolf and the sheriff asks why she didn't
when you stare long into the wolf the
wolf stares back girl cries wolf from
the librarian reminds her there are
dragons in the next town girl cries wolf
and the postman asks if she has tried
stroking it burr cries wolf in the
butcher asks if she has tried feeding it
one of her limbs girl cries wolf and the
mayor says it's a shame that she and the
wolf don't get along he remembers when
the wolf and her used to be friends
girl cries wolf and is asked if she has
been bitten girl says yes and is asked
if she has been dismembered girl says
yes and is asked if she has been
devoured what kind of town would we be
if we banished our wolves who will teach
our girls to stay out of the woods who
will teach our girls to bleed patiently
who will teach our girls sacrifice who
would teach our girls the world is not
safe if we do not teach them even the
town is not safe that even a wolf
deserves a home a roof over its head a
place at the table and a girl to eat
thank you so much
[Applause]
[Music]