[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]
You-? You're the-? and the Dean was your–?
Yes, yes, and yes. And now that we've dispensed with this inarticulate sputtering,
let's move directly to the part where I turn you into a red splotch on the Savonnerie.
Huh?
The carpet, darling.
Mattie! When did you get into town?
Last night. And don't you "Mattie" me, you little monster.
From what I hear, you're up to your gorgeous neck in this mess, Sis.
Sis?
Well, there was a little disagreement over whether or not Mother was going to feed my girlfriend
to the fish-monster.
I heard. So you pried up a soul-eating sword and took a run at them both?
You're lucky the damn thing didn't obliterate you.
Now hold that thought while I take care of little miss wanna-Buffy.
Uh- Mattie, that's Laura. The- uh- girlfriend in question.
I know. And look, I'm not pretending I was overly fond of Maman and her headgames myself,
but your walking dinner date killed her. Which makes it my duty to pull her apart at the limbs.
It's the principle of the thing.
I won't let you hurt her.
Let?
Who are you kidding, kitty-cat?
Unless you have that thermonuclear sword stashed somewhere in your deshabille, you're out of your league.
Doesn't matter.
[Mattie laughs]
Oh god.
You went and fell in love with one of the marks again, didn't you?
-- Oh- No one said anything about- -- Love? Did she just say-
You little sap. But then again you were always in the middle of some one great romance or another, weren't you?
[In a mocking tone] "Oh, don't eat him he's a poet, or her, she has such a beautiful voice,
or that one, that one's just too pretty to ruin."
Or that blonde corset in the 1870's that you were head over heels for!
It was enough to give a girl cavities!
Fine. You like the nymph that much, I can hold off until you get tired of her.
That's not-
-- Look, I'm glad you're not going to kill her -- I believe
the words you're looking for are "Gee, Mattie. Thanks for being so understanding.
Especially since this mess means you had to leave Morocco for this ice-blasted wasteland
and the implosion of Maman's ridiculous pseudo-versity."
Did you know what she was doing?
You mean, did I know that she was feeding Nemo's pal down there five people every twenty years?
Oh course I did.
The Board decided that it was the smartest play ages ago. Five people every twenty years
to keep that monster asleep? More people die of dog bites every year.
Hell, more people die of me every year!
Except it turns out it's helpless.
It's not helpless. It's stuck.
And I don't know how any of us got so lucky.
But I'll be dealing with that tomorrow when the Board meets. In the meantime,
how about you and I paint the town red?
It's been a while since we've had a girl's night. Not since-
Saigon.
Now that was a party.
You really wanna be in the same state we were in after Saigon before your big Board Meeting?
And when did you become the voice of reason?
You're probably right about the Board– those old fuddy-duddies care more about Robert's rules than anything
that happened in this creepy backwater.
Well, then- business before pleasure.
Speaking of which,
since I'm not turning the cub reporter into red mist–
we need to do something about these "news broadcasts".
We can't have gossipmongers inciting panic through the only public communication network on campus.
Leaving the impression that the University isn't safe.
The University *isn't* safe.
See. If you had more experience you'd say:
"Silas is experiencing upheaval during its time of transition."
You know what? Why don't I come back and help you. Make sure you're putting out the right message.
-- Uh— I really don't think— -- No please, I insist.
God, you're lucky you're such a cute little monster.
See you soon. Oh, and try to keep the larceny to a minimum, huh?
A lot of Mother's things are literally priceless, and I don't feel like tracking it down
in some shabby little pawn shop.
Mother's things? Why would any of your Mother's things be in here?
Because you're living in Mother's old apartment, darling.
Ta!
See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices ending theme]