- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers.
Do you have a nagging feeling
that some of the people who say that they're your friends
don't really mean it?
Perhaps you feel as if they don't really want
the best for you or secretly want you out of their group
but just won't come out and say it.
A lot of the time when you dislike someone
you won't dare tell them directly in fear of confrontation.
So instead you may just let your actions speak for you
and hope they get the hint.
So if you've been wondering if the red flags
you've been seeing in some of your friends
mean something serious, here are eight telltale signs
that can help you figure it out.
Number one, their body language
towards you is closed and negative.
Have you noticed non-verbal cues they send
whenever you are together?
As much as you try to keep your true feelings a secret
there are plenty of subconscious things
you do with your body that speak volumes
about how you really feel about the people you're with.
Some examples to keep a close eye on
include crossed arms and legs, minimal eye contact,
physical distance, and using bags, pillows, desks, doors
and so on to hide behind while you're talking.
Number two they fake a smile around you.
Do their smiles reach their eyes?
Another telltale sign that someone doesn't like you
as much as they're letting on is
if they're constantly faking their smiles around you.
Most of the time when people fake their smiles,
their eyes don't crinkle and the rest of their face
stays still while they do it.
And while it can be difficult to tell
if this is just because they're tired, shy,
or feeling a little awkward,
if this person is more than an acquaintance to you already
and you notice they're still faking their smiles around you
it might be because they secretly dislike you.
Number three, they keep your conversations
short and impersonal.
Think back on the last few times
you've spoken to this person.
Did they seem in a hurry to leave?
Were their replies short and devoid of emotion?
When people secretly dislike you
they'll most likely try to avoid you
and cut your conversation short
by either giving you very vague answers
like "I'm fine" or "Not much going on"
or "It's all good" or rushing off with a flimsy excuse,
an empty promise of the next time that never comes true.
Number four, there's a distinct lack of physical touch.
while it's certainly true that some people
aren't as comfortable being touchy
or physically affectionate around even their closest friends
and loved ones, it's another thing entirely
when they're comfortable doing it
around everyone except you.
The distinct lack of any kind of friendly physical touch,
be it a hug, handshake or pat on the back is very telling
that they do not feel comfortable
letting you into their personal space.
Number five, they don't make any plans with you.
Can you remember the last time this particular person
made have plans with you or invited you somewhere?
If the answer is never
then it's probably time to take a good look
at your friendship with this person and ask yourself why.
Do you invite them to places and events
they just end up canceling or postponing indefinitely?
Do they often blow you off for the next cooler,
more exciting thing or exclude you
from their plans with other friends?
It might sting a little to admit it,
but if so, there's a good chance it's because
this person secretly dislikes you.
Number six, they rarely reach out or check up on you.
Similar to the last point,
if the communication between you and this person
is mostly one sided, then it's a red flag already.
Whether it's leaving you unread,
not bothering to return your calls
or never checking up on you every now and then
to make sure you're okay
and see how you're doing,
all of these behaviors show indifference, apathy,
and a definite lack of concern
usually reserved for the people we don't like.
Number seven, they tend to let you down
and break their promises.
As cliche as it might sound,
a common adage you hear in family and couples therapy
is if we don't have trust, we don't have anything.
Mutual trust is really the foundation
for every healthy and lasting relationship.
So if someone is constantly letting you down,
breaking their promises and not being there
when you need them to be,
and as painful as it might be to admit
all of these signs are telling you
that this person does not respect you,
nor care about your feelings.
And number eight, they don't listen to your opinions.
Last, but certainly not least,
if someone can't be bothered to listen
to what you have to say,
such as when they make decisions that affect you
without asking you first or insist on doing something
you've made very clear you don't agree with,
it's safe to say that this person is probably harboring
some ill will against you.
This can manifest in other
little passive aggressive ways too.
Like never asking you what you feel like doing
or always being on their phone while you're talking.
All these little things show that this person
is only pretending to like you
and that they don't actually value or respect your opinion.
Is there someone you think who secretly dislikes you?
Let us know in the comments below.
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The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description and below.
Thanks for watching and see you in our next video.