One way I know that I'm a bona fied introvert is that my favorite kind of time is alone
time.
But when I go through periods of spending a lot of one on one with myself I do start
to wonder, how much is too much alone time?
One highly publicized study recently published in the Journal Science suggested that just
six to fifteen minutes is too much alone time for a lot of adults.
The researchers conducted a couple different experiments, the first of which involved people
just sitting by themselves in a room without any form of distractions, no cell phone, no
TV, no books, et cetera, and around half of those participants rated the experience as
unpleasant.
In the followup experiment there was one form of entertainment in the room which was a button
that participants could press that would then shock them.
Going into this experiment all the people said no no no, we're not going to shock ourselves,
that's crazy.
Once left to their own devices, sixty-seven percent of men and twenty-five percent of
women chose to shock themselves, which the researchers found surprising because you would
think that in today's fast-paced constantly connected world, having a little time away
to ourselves to be with our own thoughts should be a pleasant prospect right?
But it's actually the methodology more than the results of that study I would argue that
gets us to that answer of how much is too much alone time.
Studies on solitude have never and probably will never be able to calculate one particular
across the board threshold for how much is too much time spent by our lonesome.
What really makes the difference is our perspective on it.
If we feel like we are actively choosing to take time apart hence using phrases like alone
time, then the results are usually positive.
If we feel like we're being socially isolated against our will, as in the case of those
study participants who were shocking themselves just to kill the boredom of it all, then the
results are usually more negative, that's when alone time starts to bleed into loneliness.
It's the difference between this--[singing cheerfully] I think I'm alone now---and this---[singing
sadly] All by myself.
What's even more fascinating is that this very concept of alone time as a thing that's
okay for us to look forward to is a relatively new concept.
Up until the late 1990s the long-standing logic was that humans were such innately social
creatures anything more than just a little bit of time by ourselves would inevitably
breed loneliness and despair and feelings of isolation.
It wasn't until the turn of the millennium that social scientists started noticing, 'Huh,
alone time can actually and paradoxically in a way, make us better social creatures.'
Research has found that being able to spend time by ourselves actually improves our capacity
to empathize with other people so that means that once we're ready to go back out in the
world we get along better.
Hopefully.
One final caveat on how much alone time is too much alone time, researchers stress that
yes, choice in the matter is important, if we feel like we're choosing to be alone than
usually it's all good but also pay attention to whether you're using alone time as a tool
of avoidance.
Then it might be good to force yourself out of your comfortable alone time bubble and
deal with whatever it is you're running away from.
While it's so true that sometimes we can do our best work on ourselves away from other
people, personal improvement that demands us interacting face-to-face with other people,
which can be terrifying but the good news is after you're done you can go right back
to alone time.
I don't know about you but that's awfully comforting to me.