*SFX of a clock ticking rapidly and iOS notification sounds*
SHUT UP!
Ian: Oh uh, do you have the time?
Anthony: Yeah yeah, it's uh, it's 12:15.
Noah: It took 1.5 seconds for you to check the time!
Anthony: You timed that?
Noah: With this stopwatch on my all new Apple Watch!
Noah: Just one of the amazing features it has.
Ian: Doesn't the iPhone already have a stopwatch?
Anthony: Yeah, who the hell wears a wristwatch anymore?
Noah: The better question is who doesn't.
Ian: Newborn babies.
Anthony: Someone with two broken wrists.
Ian: A guy with no arms.
Anthony: People with really small clock phobias.
Ian: Pretty much everyone, really.
Anthony: Why are you even so excited about this thing?
Ian: Yeah, its just another useless Apple product they want us to ''think we need''.
Olivia: That's a really sexy watch.
Olivia: Too bad you guys don't have one to cover your fat, ugly wrists.
Ian: Okay, we got your stupid watch now. What can it do?
Noah: You can tap on it, and your friends will feel the tapping.
Anthony: That is really creepy.
Ian: Is Apple trying to bring back Morse Code or something?
Noah: Uh, it can send a heartbeat.
Ian: Why would you wanna do that?
Noah: So you know your friends are still alive?
Anthony: Okay, why wouldn't my friend just send me a text, or call me?
Ian: Yeah, or they can send you a picture of them not dead.
Noah: .... I gotta go.... Pee!
Noah: It's just a quick tinkle!
Noah: Uh, why don't you fellas stay there, ha?
(building burning and screams in the background)
Noah: Our plan didn't work.
Keith: But she fat shamed their wrists into getting the watches, right?
Noah: Yeah, and they still think they're lame.
Keith: They won't after you let them know you can run home appliances with it.
Olivia: Only the internet-enabled ones, like your TV and, um... y-y-y-your TV!
Keith: That's right.
Anthony: Why would I wanna turn my TV on while I'm not at home?
Ian: Yeah, that's almost as pointless as sucking a fat man's nipples for milk.
Noah: .... I'll be back!
Anthony: What kind of a metaphor was that?
Ian: Okay, it's not a metaphor, it's a simile, and I may have tried it once..... I-I-I don't recommend it...
Noah: They didn't care at all! They just... talked about sucking on some fat dude's nipples.
Olivia: (seductively) Go on....
Keith: Alright.... Time to pull out the big guns.... (starts struggling with the watch)... How do I get to the fitness app again?...
Olivia: Hold two fingers on the screen for two seconds.
Keith: Okay... One, two...
(Ultimate Assassin's Creed 3 Song starts playing)
Olivia: Wrong app, idiot!
Keith: Damn it! I'll hold it for four seconds... Woop, nope, those are my nudes... Three seconds.... O-O-Olivia?...
Keith: Olivia! Those my baby pictures, my momma the only person supposed to see those now! No!
Noah: (panting and out of breath) .... Look...... It shows your heart rate.... And how far you've walked... Along with how many calories you burned, and... I just ran 14 miles... Because my piece of shit car broke down!... Ha!....
Ian: That's great and all, but I really don't care about fitness, do you?
Anthony: No, I'm perfectly fine with dying at 30.
Noah: Come on! (runs off clumsily with sweat pouring down the back of his shirt)
Keith: Yeah, we got nothing else.
Noah: Then what did we spend the last five years developing?! It's a $350 piece of garbage!
Olivia: The gold-plated one cost me $5,000.
Oh, come on! Apple used to be a place for innovation, not gimmicky bullshit for rich people!
Keith: Yeah, but we like money.
Noah: You guys getting this Morse Code tap?
Keith: Oh, yeah.
Olivia: What does it say?
Noah: It says go f*ck yourselves! (flips them off and leaves)
Noah: Fine! Heh.... You guys win! Okay? This thing sucks big fat floppy dicks! Alright? I'ma draw you a picture and send it to you to show you exactly what it looks like! Ha! Ha ha!
Ian: Hold up, man. You can draw pictures of dicks and send them to your friends on this thing?
Noah: Yeah! Who cares?!
Ian and Anthony: THIS IS THE BEST INVENTION OF ALL TIME!!! YEAH!!!!
Ian and Anthony: DICKS!!!!
Ian: That was our Apple Watch video! Woo, high five!
*Random gibberish*
Anthony: So yeah, you guys might have noticed these guys in a bunch our videos lately.
Anthony: What are your guys' names?
I'm Keith Leak!
I'm Olivia Sui!
I'm Noah Grossman!
Ian: So, so we've been reading the comments, you guys love these guys, WE love these guys...
Anthony: I don't blame you, cause i love all of them!
Ian: So we want to bring them in to the Smosh family.
Anthony: They've been helping us make videos lately, and they're amazing, they're gonna help us do a bunch more content.
Anthony: Make sure you guys check out all their stuff they got going on right now, we're gonna put a bunch of stuff in the description below!
Anthony: We got their Instagrams, we got the Twitters, we got the vines!
Ian: Begin stalking them like crazy!
Ian: Let's all say bye so we can get to the incard!
Everyone: BYE!
Ian: Well, since there's five of us sitting on a couch, i guess you could say we're all... FRIENDS!
*Everyone starts clapping*
*Random gibberish*
Ian: Click ''subscribe'' to see all of our lovely faces in your feed.
Ian: Best part is, it's totally free unlike that gold Apple Watch that's worth $17,000.
Anthony: Yeah that wasn't even a joke, they seriously have one that costs that much, look it up.
Ian: Yup, and if you wanna see bloopers from this video, and watch us draw ''questionable things'' on our Apple Watches:
Ian: Click the video on the left.
Anthony: And, if you wanna see Siri try to kill us, click the video on the right.