Hey you! My name is Thomas 'TomSka' Ridgewell. I'm Elliot Gough. I'm Eddie Bowley.
I'm Chloe Dungate. I'm NotCorry. And I'm NoahFinnce. And welcome to Muffin Time!
The game what we done made and now we're gonna play!
[children cheer] [clapping]
Oh, I got it the right way up! That was- [laughter] That really hurt... [laughter]
[inaudible gibberish] It's a card game! It's like asdfmovie but a game! Do you like asdfmovie?
Do you? Yes. Nobody asked! [laughter] How do you play the game, Tom?
Say- Do that again, I wasn't- How'd you play the game, Tom? Do it when I'm not talking. How'd you pl- [laughter]
How'd y- [laughter]
How'd you play the game, Tom? Well, Elliot- Muffin Time is a chaotic card game where anything can happen.
There are 3 types of cards in Muffin Time: TRAP CARDS, ACTION CARDS, and COUNTER CARDS.
TRAP CARDS are placed at the start of players’ turn and activate as soon as their conditions are met.
ACTION CARDS are played during a player's turn and make things happen.
And COUNTER CARDS are played whenever applicable and are players’ primary means of defence against one another.
To start the game, players are dealt 3 cards each; with the remaining cards placed between them as the deck pile.
Now, at the start of a player's turn, they can choose, if they wish, to place a trap card, face-down in front of them.
Then, they can either draw a new card from the DECK or play an ACTION CARD.
Once a card is played, activated, or discarded, it goes face-up into a DISCARD pile next to the DECK.
After a players’ turn is over, they pay close attention to see if anyone activates one of their TRAP CARDS
or plays a card they’d like to COUNTER. If someone activates a TRAP CARD or plays a COUNTER CARD at
any point, that must be first resolved before the game continues from exactly where it left off.
And as soon as a player has exactly 10 cards in their hand, they must say “It’s Muffin Time!”
and if they still have exactly 10 cards in their hand at the start of their next turn, they win! [children cheer]
Has everyone got the cards to play Muffin Time? Oh, we're playing Muffin Time right now? Muffin Time game... dot com?
Tom goes first as he's the person who suggested the game. I'm going to play 'Jewellery'! I'm going to steal
two cards from the player wearing the most jewellery. One of you three, I assume. Oh sh- You can swear.
Shit. [laughter]
I didn't know you were gonna use one of the big ones! Noah!! [laughter]
I thought you were gonna say "bum"! [laughter] 'Aw, Come On!' No! [laughter]
"Stop the current action card and force its player to discard three cards" [laughter]
"If another player forces you to discard cards, draw that many instead" I'm playing 'Oh Okay'.
'Evil Butterfly'! "Stop the current counter card and add it to your hand" [laughter]
Thank you! [laughter] [Tom screams]
Well, that's what i get for... Trying. I'm gonna play 'Die Potato' which is I force a player to
discard three cards. Corry. Ha! O- Oh... [laughter] Unless you have a counter card that can stop that.
I don't have a counter card that can stop that. Oh no! Turn over. [laughter] At least your traps safe.
'Joust Time'! "Play Rock Paper Scissors with another player and whoever wins draw three cards." Eddie!
Okay. [mumbling "rock paper scissors"] Go! Fuck! [laughter]
"All players wearing glasses draw two cards." Why, that's me and Elliot!
Elliot's not wearing lenses in his... Are you not?! [frantic crosstalk and laughter]
What are glasses really? The glass! [laughter]
I think we should let him off... Fine. Yaaaaay!
I play 'Medication', "all players who have taken medication in the last 24 hours draw two cards."
That's actually just reminded me that I need to take my meds right now. [laughter]
I mean... If you take- If you took it RIGHT NOW- Man, I hate being neurotypical...
Mmm! You are getting away with a lot of technicalities... I am less depressed now.
How has not a single trap card been activated yet? Are you complaining? No! Okay...
Well I'm gonna play 'Snake Arms' to steal one card from every boy player
I used to have boobies... So? Fuck! [laughter] I currently have boobies, whatcha wanna do about it?
'Don't Wanna Be Fat'. "Choose another player or yourself to discard five cards." Discard five cards, Tom.
Oh okay. 'What A Twist'. "As soon as you have zero cards in your hand draw ten cards."
God dammit! [laughter]
I really appreciate you. It's muffin time. 'Here Comes The Aeroplane', Tom.
"Give this card to another player, it's their card now." "No players can play action cards until my next turn."
Muffin Time. "Stop the current action and give one card to the player with the darkest skin."
Yaaay! [laughter]
To clarify... That would be a custom card- uh- made by our own Corry here...
'Little Baby'. "The youngest player has to discard three cards." [laughter] What if I only have three?
Then yeah, that adds up! [laughter]
I'm gonna play 'Magical Pony'! "Stop the current action card and add it to your hand."
That was really ugly of you. Thank you! That was my card. It's mine now.
Did you just... Complain? [laughter]
'Crybaby'. "If another player complains, they discard three cards." Too bad 'I'm A Ghost'.
So I'm gonna stop the current action card but I'm gonna discard my place traps.
It's not an action card, though. Chloe's playing a trap... I don't have this card... [laughter]
I play 'Hit The Apple'. "All players including you touch this card, the last player to touch the card discards three cards."
It was never gonna happen... [laughter] I'm on a diagonal and you knew it!
'Magical Pony'. "Draw 4 cards." [laughter] Can't... Stand you...
That was MY card. Muffin Time. Yeah. Muffin Time!
Woah! [silence]
Sorry! [laughter]
"Create a distraction and steal one card from every player you fooled."
Fuck you and your muffin time! It's Tom's go! My go?! I'll be really exciting and draw a card.
Wow! That was fun! I like this game. You should buy it.
[cash register sound] I'm not giving this back. [laughter]
This game's fun! I like- Buy this game! [cash register sound] [laughter] Woah!
This will happen every time you play Muffin Time. 'Baby Voice'! "Choose another player to speak
in a baby voice until their next turn; steal three of their cards if they fail."
Tom doing a baby voice: Okiedoke! [laughter]
'Banana Peel'. What's the card do? You put the card in the deck face up and
the next person to draw discards three cards. It's just Elmo now... [Tom laughs like Elmo]
'Oh No!' "If I can correctly guess the exact number of action card-" oh it's action cards, shit,
I thought it was just cards. Uh- [laughter]
"-in players hands, steal them all." Shit, I've done it now. Uuh, Chloe! I think you have two.
Fine. [laughter] Yay!
"If another player says your first name they discard three cards."
[laughter + applause]
Elliot is your go. Oh, you don't have any cards? You have to draw. [laughter] Oh no!
[sigh] Well, I guess i get to keep this card which is nice... Yeah!
'Screw Gravity'. "Draw three crads from the bottom of the deck."
Everyone: "Crads"? [laughter]
I've been intimidated! [laughter] You helped up play test this game, right?
Yeah! Yeah. Yeah, I lost.
Oh no! So- Tom- No... "If any player is Tom they must discard three cards."
[laughter]
Well that's a lovely custom card! That you have made with One of the blank cards. Stop asking me what they're for.
But you still recalled an event from over a year ago and you too must discard three cards!
Aw! [laughter] That's equality.
'Dog With A Knife'! "Stop the current trap card."
[Tom screams] [laughter] [Tom screams again]
'Bad Spread'. "Play this with an action card to double its effect" and then I'll play 'Rainbows'.
"Choose one color of the rainbow and steal one card from all players wearing that colour"
I have realized pink is not a color of the rainbow... [laughter] A moment too late...
I go blue! Jeans are blue. I love games! I need a card back.
How did I take three of your cards? I only took- Are you calling me a liar?! [Tom screams] [laughter]
"If another player accuses you of lying, steal three of their cards"
Give me a sec... [laughter] Give me a second!
[slurp] [splat]
Whispering: No... No... No, please! Do it, do it, yeah!
No, don't do it! Yeah, do do it. Do it. Do it.
Hey, Elliot, what's on your head? Noooo! Just ruin my goddamn life, why don't you? [laughter]
"Stick this card to your forehead and if nobody mentions it by your next turn, all other players discard three cards."
Yeeeah! [laughter] Yeah! So only I lose this round.
Noah! Hello? Noah... What?
'What?' "If you successfully trick another player into saying "what?" they discard three cards! I love to game!
'Can't Breathe'. "The player who can hold their breath the longest draws three cards."
Announcer: 3... 2... 1... Go! [deep inhale]
[Jackbox music but not Jackbox music because that'd infringe their copyright]
[snort laugh] [Noah exhales]
[Tom exhales] Not worth it. I give up.
[Eddie exhales] Okay!
[Chloe exhales] Oh wait, shit- [laughter]
I want some dramatic music over this...
[dramatic music over this]
[Corry exhales] Yeeeah!
I feel really lightheaded... [laughter]
Muffin Time! Nooo- Yes. Nooo- Yes! 'Standing Up School'!
Ah! [bones crack] Aaaah... [laughter]
That didn't feel good at all... Aah... That felt bad... [laughter] Ow...
"The player with the fewest cards in their hand by your next turn wins."
"Stop the current action card-" Don't.
"and draw one for yourself" Don't do that. And now you have nothing! [laughter]
Idiot! 'What's Their Name?' "If another player of your choice doesn't know your full name steal three of their cards."
Chloe Dungate? Full. Name. Chloe Maria Dungate? That was crazy close! Fuck! That was mad close. But no.
Imma play 'Hold This.' "Steal another player's hand and give them your own." [laughter]
Thanks Elliot. Here you go... [laughter] [Elliot cries]
'Grow Up Fast'. "All players draw up to or discard down to seven cards." [cheering]
'Only One'! "All players discard all but one card."
'Dead To Me'. "Stop the current action or trap card and force its player to skip their next turn."
[Tom blows a raspberry] Get wrecked.
My wife voices that character. There can be only one!
Alright... Yeah!
That's trivia! I get it. She's a card.
Ha! Because like saying someone's a card can also mean that.
Shut up. Oop. [laughter]
Owwie! I don't have a counter for that... There's no rules for this!! [laughter]
'Alien Invasion'. "Give another player your entire hand." I don't want it!
I can't stress enough much i don't want that... Come on! [distressed yell]
Oh no! 'Don't Beat Me'. "As soon as you have zero cards in your hand steal the entire hand of another player.
of your choice." Thank you, Eddie! But I do have a counter in that hand that's called
'Chase Me' which is that if you steal this card from me you discard your entire hand. [laughter]
But wait, there's more! Because if I have zero cards in my hands...
I draw ten! Aaaah! No!!
Whose turn is it next?! [laughter] One two three four five six seven eight nine ten!
Muffin Time! [airhorns] Yaaaaay! [children cheer]
I win! Fuck! [laughter]
All: Woooow! [clapping]
That's enough.
[Tom speaks gibberish (seemingly unintentionally)] [laughter]
Hey, if you want to get Muffin Time we got the new version of Muffin Time out now!
It's got 200 unique and crazy kooky cards! Where can you buy the game?!
Muffin Time Game dot com! It also makes a great beach ball!
[slam] [Tom screams]
Bye!!! The game! Buy it! Buy it now!! It comes in a cube!!! Buy the game.
Alright, let's all go. Are you saying "bye the game?"
It's too hot...
I made asdfmovie... Remember that?
You guys remember that, right? Buy the game.
Elliot singing: "Hey you! Thank you for the money." x8
Elliot: Thank you, Patrons. We appreciate it. Thank you! Bye!