Translator: Vivian Lee Reviewer: Denise RQ
I knew, from what I benefited within a business
that personal development tools encourage our efficiency
and our feeling of well-being.
At first,
I decided to pass on the techniques of behavioral psychology
to the children of my friends and the friends of my children.
Indeed, some lacked confidence in them,
and for others, they felt too little motivation.
As for the latter,
they did not know how to face their commitments alone,
they had to become more independent.
How can we reduce stress on a daily basis?
How can we accomplish our jobs and tasks with more enthusiasm and energy every day?
How do we balance our work or student life with our personal life?
More generally, how do we achieve our goals in life?
With the use of mnemonic therapy,
at any time and at least once a day,
by opening up the hand, in five steps, holding onto the five fingers,
we can relax, focus,
to make ourselves entirely motivated to the task that we have decided to do,
to get rid of irrelevant feelings or thoughts.
This technique is important as it allows the unity
between the body, heart, and mind.
How does it work?
Press, stop, I stop.
I answer to my physical needs, my sleeping requirements,
my nutrition, my need for breaks.
Let's try a little relaxation exercise together:
I encourage you to sit back comfortably in your seat,
to close your eyes, to anchor your two feet into the ground,
and by the time I count to 20,
you can imaging yourself as a bird or a fish, whichever you prefer.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15,
16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
There, you have to let go for this to be effective.
With my index finger, I point to the most important event of my day,
the one that spontaneously comes to my mind whether it is nice or not,
and I identify the emotions and the needs related to this event.
Indeed, emotions are to the mind what feelings are to the body:
they tell us about ourselves.
For me, the thing that challenged me this morning,
is the request of my son to accompany him to his rugby match this evening
and to which I replied that I had a work commitment
and that I could not go.
So I identified the emotions and the needs.
I feel guilty because I need to be a good mother,
and I feel annoyed because I need to be professional.
It is by identifying and accepting these emotions
that we move forward with more serenity in our lives.
Most importantly now, I recognize my strengths:
my qualities and my values, the best of myself.
What are the compliments that I received today?
What are the achievements of my day?
So I identify the qualities and the abilities
that I have used since this morning.
Self-esteem is an inherent need among all of us,
essential for our health,
which allows us to develop new qualities and abilities
to thrive better.
So once comforted with these qualities and capabilities,
I list my values.
My values, what is important to me in my eyes.
What is it in the pit of my stomach that motivates me,
the energy that allows me to achieve all my goals successfully?
Now ask yourself very simply
who are the two people that you admire the most?
As soon as you think of them, what are some of their values?
This can be humor, ambition, communication. What do I know?
These values likely form part of yours.
When your colleague feels proud to have achieved their goals,
it is undoubtedly their ambition which drove their success.
If they feel happy, then it will be their value of well-being.
In any case, what is important,
is to understand that when we live the positive moments,
our values are being nurtured,
just as during negative moments, our values are being broken.
For me, these are my values: love, sharing, and success,
which have been battered this morning.
Observing with goodwill allows us to discern what it is that we need to do.
On the ring finger now,
I make a promise to myself,
I respect myself as I am, with what I have and with my limits.
How do I get around things that upset me?
How do I overcome these, how do I come back at it?
I take the event that I identified with my index finger,
the unmet needs that are
to be professional and to be a good mother at the same time.
So at my ring finger there are five possible tools,
I'll take negotiation and compromise.
I have two parts to myself.
Part A that wants to be a good mother
and which corresponds to my values of love and sharing,
part B which wants to be professional, which corresponds to my value of success.
I'm going to allow these two parts to interact together
in order to negotiate a compromise.
A compromise is an agreement where everyone is a winner.
This might be,
"Don't you think that you should go to Louis' rugby match tonight?"
"No, it's impossible, this evening I have a work commitment;
I'm giving a TEDx talk, it's really important to me.
But maybe I can go with him to his match on Sunday?"
"Oh no, there's no need for you to go on Sunday,
he's going to go with his friends."
"What would you say if I promised to go with him next Tuesday?"
"Are you sure?"
"Promise."
Both sides are then satisfied, I respect myself completely.
It is by aligning our lives,
by endeavoring to meet our values that we can be the happiest.
On my pinky finger now, my gut tells me,
"I have a long-term project, a medium-term one, and a short-term one."
What is the goal I set myself now?
What do I want to do right away?
I'm going to reveal the path to success,
of which the first step is simply to focus on a SMART goal.
SMART, that is, Specific, Measurable, Achievable
Results-focused, and Time-bound
to continue moving forward in small steps according to my goal in life.
The goal that I am focused on is simply to phone up tomorrow morning
the person who I would like to change the meeting time.
so that I can be with my son next week.
This will allow me to spend time with my son, and at the same time,
not make it impossible
to achieve my professional objectives,
and to respect the person with whom I have a meeting with.
My values: sharing, success, and respect will then be satisfied.
To conclude, I would say that mnemonic therapy
allows each of us to reinvent the way in which we live our lives,
to reinforce confidence in ourselves, motivation, and independence,
the three pillars of success.
The more we use this mnemonic therapy, the more we want to use it.
By pressing, we manage stress.
With the index finger, the thumb, and the ring finger,
we can best manage ourselves
and learn how to communicate with others.
Finally, with the pinky finger, we act simply
to succeed in our goals and for the common good.
Every day, take the time to simply
listen to your needs and your aspirations.
As said by Jean de la Fontaine,
"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."
(Applause)