How To Sound Smarter Than You Actually Are [0:00:00]
[Music] So, back when I was getting my MBA at business
school, I remember going to a networking event and the conversation being way over my head.
Now, it’s not that I was stupid, I was a military officer.
I’ve led marines in the combat, but I did not understand this jargon that these guys
from Bain Consulting from McKinsey what they were going back and forth on, and I didn’t
know how to talk at this event.
So, in a situation like this, how do you speak without sounding stupid?
Well, gentlemen, that’s what we’re covering in today’s video.
Tip number one and this one is easy.
Stand up straight and keep your chin up.
By doing this right here, you are going to be perceived as stronger more confident and
therefore, actually more intelligent.
You haven’t even said a word, but you look the part of an intelligent person.
Tip number two, actually listen to people.
Believe me, the vast majority of people don’t, they’re waiting for their chance to speak.
When you listen to somebody, you actually start to get pick up little bits here and
there.
You can piece together in general what’s going on and that leads to the next part which
is you ask deeper better questions, questions that show that you’ve actually been paying
attention to what that person said.
Now, this is a bit more advanced, but one of the best ways that you can ask questions
is to actually summarize what you understood that person to say and then ask a question
that calls for clarification of something specific.
And, this leads me to the next point which is to steer them in a direction that you are
more comfortable of talking about things.
And, my particular example I was able to steer the conversation when I was talking with these
consultants at Bain about, “Hey, I know that you guys work with the government.”
They actually had a section of that consulting firm that works directly with the government
especially in support of the military, naval bases.
I was able to get into that and talk to them more about that.
Now, the guys I’m talking with in particular, they don’t work in that part of the company,
but they, oh, this guy understands this.
They were able to talk about some of their friends that are part of that division, they
could make connections.
But, notice, I steered the conversation into the direction of something that I’m more
knowledgeable about.
I understood the military.
That’s my background.
I was able to start highlighting my background.
So, all of a sudden I’m able to sound more intelligent.
I’m able to keep it in an area that’s more about what I know.
Now, this next tip requires a bit of practice, and that is to speak expressively.
And, I’m not talking about overdoing it and going all over the place, but you don’t
want to be a robot.
You don’t want to just stand there and speak in a monotone voice and say the same thing
again and again because people aren’t going to follow this.
No, you change it up.
Not only are you using your hands, but you’re also going to use, you know, maybe step back,
you can adjust you can mimic somebody’s body gesture.
You don’t want to do it so bad that they could pick it up.
But, most people unconsciously, they’re going to like someone that’s mimicking them,
so that body language right there.
Next up, when it comes to adding emphasis, when you say something you may be pause or
you say it a little bit louder, you go down you go up in your voice.
Again, you got to make sure it makes sense.
You can’t just use talk loud all of a sudden for no reason at all.
No, people are going to think you’re crazy.
But, you practice this.
Maybe go to toastmasters.
Go and just engage with people, but all of a sudden when you can be more expressive in
the way that you speak people assume that you’re more intelligent.
Next up, don’t be drinking alcohol, don’t hold a drink.
There’s actually it’s called imbibing idiot bias.
Yes, this is a real thing.
But, apparently if you’re holding a drink especially one that has alcohol, the other
person perceives you as less intelligent.
So, you go to these networking events, you go out to parties, maybe you go to an interview
at the party, it’s perfectly fine.
Unless, it’s actually one that is a networking event, you’re going to meet people who are
interviewing you because understand they’re always interviewing you.
So, you’re at that dinner and it’s paid for by the company, should you order wine?
Probably not, just simply go with water.
Also, keep the meal to a minimum.
Don’t order the most expensive thing that are on the plate.
The point is people are making judgments of you and when we see someone with alcohol in
their hand, someone that’s drinking alcohol, we assume that they are less intelligent.
Now, if you’re going to be giving a presentation, you’re going to be talking with people and
you want to appear more intelligent, leverage the glasses, unless, you don’t wear glasses,
then of course don’t do it.
But for a lot of you guys, you’ve got the options, you’ve got contacts you’ve got
glasses, don’t be afraid to use this.
There are many studies out there that talk about basically the way the glasses frame
the eyes, all of the sudden people are more likely to look at your eyes which by the way
is another point looking at people in the eyes maintaining good eye contact which this
help all of a sudden, you come off as more attractive.
And, yes, there is even research that shows basically harder frames thicker frames draw
more attention to the eyes.
This is all good.
Now, what about crutch words?
I’ve talked about this before.
We use crutch words when we’re reaching for something to say.
Our mind basically isn’t able to keep up with the speed of our mouth.
So, a couple of things here - speak slower.
[0:05:00] That right there you don’t -- you want to
be careful with it.
If you speak too slow, they may think you have some type of learning disability.
And, in general you want to speak at about the same rate as everyone else in the conversation.
You can slow it down just a bit to add emphasis, but what you don’t want to be doing is throwing
in crutch words.
So, what happens if the conversation is going in a direction that you don’t actually know
what they’re talking about?
All of sudden you realize you’re in territory and you are completely lost.
What to do here?
One is don’t open your mouth.
Keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I love that saying.
But, the point being is you don’t have to speak you don’t have to talk, you can just
simply listen.
Now, if people are asking for your opinion, ask questions.
Ask them to clarify say, “Hey, you know, I honestly don’t know enough about the subject.
This is something I’m not an expert on.”
That right there actually deferring and avoiding it by simply saying, “Hey, I actually don’t
know that much about this.”
That is okay, and it’s better than trying to fake it.
That’s what you don’t want to do.
Now, if you are giving a presentation, one thing that you can do is you can bring in
graphs, you can bring in charts, you can bring in statistics.
I actually do this all the time in my videos.
You notice?
I talk about stats, I talk about research, I talk about numbers.
And I oftentimes borrow credibility because I cite a study coming out of Harvard, coming
out of Stanford.
The point is whenever you can do this, you’re borrowing authority and whenever you put the
stats up there, you put up the numbers even if it’s something that you could say it
and you think that people would understand.
When you use a chart, when you use a visual like that, people are just like, wow, this
guy actually took the time and they just assumed that you know what you’re talking about
and that you’re more intelligent.
Now, these next two are actually kind of funny, but I wanted to put them in there.
So, if you’re writing something out, you can actually add your middle initial and people
will perceive your writings as more intelligent.
Yes, there is a study on this and I actually thought that was kind of interesting.
Now, you don’t want to probably introduce yourself as, “My name is Antonio O. Centeno.”
I couldn’t find any research on that, but, yeah, if you’re going to write down and
you’re desperate for coming off as more intelligent, then feel free to put in your
middle initial.
Another thing is to understand your accent.
A lot of you guys from all over the world, we all have an accent and people perceive
people from different countries you know in different ways.
And, believe me in the United States, we love the Brit.
English, we definitely think are more intelligent, the Scottish more intelligent.
Australians when I hear that accent, I think fun I think party.
But, understand that there are some accents if you’ve got a Russian accent and you’re
speaking English, it is something for some reason they pigeonhole these guys as the bad
guys.
Just understand that there oftentimes is a bias when it comes down to accents.
So, what video to watch next?
Eye contact, I was about to get into it more and then I realized, you know what?
I’ve got a whole video on this.
And you want to watch this video because we talk about the right formula, the amount of
eye contact you want to have with people.
I break out the exact percentages whether you’re talking to an individual, whether
you’re talking to a few people, whether you’re talking to a hundred people, the
exact, yeah, the way to do it.
So, go check out this video.
I will link to it down in the description.
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