Hi everybody, I'm Melissa and welcome back to CloudMom.
Sometimes I spend a lot of time preparing a video.
I will get a question from somebody, either somebody I know or somebody who's written
in to the site or to one of our email accounts.
And I'll spend a lot of time, you know, sketching out what I want to answer, coming up with
graphics, looking back and making sure I've researched the topic and I haven't left anything
out.
And then sometimes I just happen to be filming and I say, you know what, there's something
I just really want to get off my chest and I start to film a video!
And you know what?
This is one of those times.
And what I wanted to sort of vent about is stress.
I have talked about stress quite a lot, um, on my site and in my videos because I do think
that taking care of kids is a very stressful thing.
And one of the things that I think makes it so difficult is that as kids change, as they
get older, you're constantly faced with new challenges that you don't necessarily feel
well prepared for.
And one of the things I haven't felt really well prepared for was the transition from
having kids go from being, you know, in the sort of 7, 8, and 9 range to now where I am.
I have a 5 year old, 7 year old, 9 year old, 11 year old, and 12 year old.
The 11 and 12 year old are starting to get, sorry, starting to get a little more independent
and they're starting to push back a lot when I might sort of make requests or demands about
what they need to be doing, like their homework.
And they can push back really hard.
And I'm not really a very confrontational person, and I've found that this sort of back
and forth with them over the course of a day or an afternoon, is really like mentally wearing
me down.
Like I just feel exhausted and like I don't really want to have this thing where I'm
constantly like insisting, or saying if you don’t do this here's what the consequence is going
to be, and all the rest of it.
So basically I feel like it's hard to just kind of maintain your, you know, mental kind
of, um, energy as a mother.
So anyway, takes me a long time to introduce this topic but I want to tell you guys what
are the things that I try to do on almost a daily basis to keep myself feeling good so that
I don't get, you know, down.
I don't get depressed.
And by the way, it's been like a really stressful time for my family because my husband is looking
for a job, and he's home.
So that's been like a huge game changer because like where as before, I and I do have help
from sitters and all that but I would be in like a good rhythm with the kids, now like
daddy's there and everybody wants to go like play on the computer with daddy or like
watch TV with daddy and I'm like ‘ahhhh!’
Like I can't sort of get anybody to settle down.
So I've also had conflict with my husband, who I love dearly, but we've had this huge
change.
So anyway, I wanted to go over what are the things that really help me sort of rejuvenate,
feel like a human being, even though for most of the day I'm just like a working mom.
And kind of just like maintain my like happiness, my sense of balance, rest and all that.
It's a pretty quick thing but I'm going to tell you what I try to do on a daily basis,
and hopefully it's helpful to you guys, ok?
First of all, I'm a huge believer in exercise.
A lot of mothers do not have time for exercise, especially when their kids are very young.
Or, you know, they work in an office and the time is just not there.
If you do have your kids in all day school and you work from home like me, try to find
an easy way that's convenient for you that you can sort of make happen to get some
exercise in there.
Whether it's like a local yoga studio, whether it's walking to work, even walking to your
bus stop, um, getting on a bike at home, or some sort of a, you know, um some sort of
a machine that you, you know, like a Nordic track or something even for 30 minutes.
Anything you can do that, you know, makes you feel better.
I even have a friend who travels all the time who brings yoga videos or has a routine that
she does with her mat, 30 minutes.
And it, she says it totally changes her situation mentally, from feeling sluggish from not feeling
good to feeling sort of happy, it helps her posture, it helps her back, helps everything.
So really try to get that exercise in, ok?
Number two.
You can't go from just taking care of your kids all day, dealing with logistics, you
know, arguing with your husband, and all that to just like work, work, work.
You need a break.
You need something in your day that you look forward to, like a little ritual that let's
you just sort of take a deep breath.
Maybe you read an article or two, maybe you call your mom, your sister, you need something
like that.
So what I do when I can, I have a little coffee place around the corner.
They know me so well that when I walk in they just basically like hand me my coffee, and
sometimes I've even forgotten my wallet and they're so adorable that they just let me
have my coffee anyway and I pay the next day.
Um, so, after I have my little yoga class, my shower, this is all in a good day, I go
there, I take like 20 minutes, I just literally sit there like looking like someone who is
like shocked, and I just drink and enjoy my coffee.
And I know that as soon as I come out of that coffee place and enter back home, I'm going
to have, you know, this craziness of, you know, emails, decisions, things hitting me,
you know, things I have to deal with, logistics, school wondering how my kid is getting home,
are they being picked up on the bus, are they getting dropped off at gymnastics, like boom,
boom, boom, boom.
But you know what?
Nobody can perform like that, being that organized, that responsive 24/7, so I feel a little rejuvenated
because I’ve had my yoga, I've breathed, I’ve taken a shower, I've had my coffee, I'm like good to go.
Ok, that's two tips, here's a third tip.
Try to schedule in, this is very hard again for working moms, but try to do it even if
it's a phone call, at least one time a week when you're going to talk to a really good
friend, or your mother, or your sister.
Where you can really talk, like you can just talk, you can cry, you can vent, you can just
connect.
Because you can't just be running around on your treadmill of a life as a mom and not
have that sort of emotional connection and support from the people that really matter
to you, it is too isolating.
Do not stay isolated.
Reach out, make a plan for coffee, make a plan for lunch, a drink after work if you
can swing it, or a phone call, or even better a Skype to get that face to face contact so
that you can feel connected.
Ok, two other tips, and I have talked about this in other vlogs.
Try to eat dinner as early as possible.
Um, we were in a bad rhythm where I was eating dinner with my husband when he used to get
home from work at like 8 or 9 and I could not sleep.
I then tried to start eating with the kids much earlier; 5, 6, its really, really helped.
Everything, I have my like orange, my dessert, my tea, I'm like done.
And then I have some time to like get the kids in bed, get myself organized for the
next day, which is going to be my next tip, and really get a better night's rest because
I'm not dealing with all this like digestion of like a big dinner at 9 o'clock.
That's number three tip.
Number four tip, get everything you need to do to get organized so the morning can be
less stressful for you, ready the night before.
And just look at it as a nice ritual sort of a relaxing thing, put out your clothes,
your gym bag, your work bag, everything like all nice, set up and ready to go.
And number five, try to read.
Not TV, not Netflix, not, you know, Amazon Videos, try to have a book that you love,
try to read every night.
15, 20 minutes, something that takes you away, something that's relaxing where there's beautiful
language.
It is going to help you sleep, it is going to help you feel connected, it is going to
help you feel like you're stimulating your brain, it is going to give you another channel.
And it's not going to interfere with your sleep the way that looking at a screen would.
So anyway, those are just 5 tips with dealing, to deal with feeling overwhelmed, mentally
exhausted, tired, and sort of disconnected and maybe even like a little blue as a mom.
And I hope they're helpful to you guys, they're really basic tips, I have plenty more that
I'll think of I'm sure soon.
Thank you so much for watching my videos, I love all of you to death.
Keep the questions coming, I'm doing my best to answer them.
Busy, busy time for me with five kids getting older and like tons of homework and all the
activities and everything else going on.
But I am so grateful for you guys following me, supporting me, and I can't wait to see
you back here again on CloudMom really soon, and have a great day.