- Oh my gosh, girl.
How did the date go?
Well...
So, what do you like to do for fun?
I enjoy various activities such as running,
traveling, bowling, meeting like-minded people,
collecting vintage pottery, forging for truffles, falconry.
I'm learning the Appalachian dulcimer
which is a traditional American folk instrument.
It was fine, but it was like my 11th grade report card.
F-minus in chemistry.
Sounds like your personalities did not match up.
No, which is why I just downloaded So Syncd,
the personality type dating app.
I love personality types.
You know, I'm an ESPN.
Anyway, all you do is sign up and take a 16 types test.
Five minutes later and boom.
I'm already getting matched up
with guys with compatible personality types.
This sounds like the perfect way to make deeper connections
with people who will really get you.
Exactly.
So Synd has a high success rate
of people finding relationships.
And a lot of people have even found
their spouse through So Syncd.
How do I sign up?
Get it for free in the app stores.
And if this were YouTube video,
when there were a camera right there
filming everything I'd say,
I'd look right at it and I'd say,
"Click the link in the description."
In the winter, I'd tap maple trees.
I've recently gotten into beekeeping.
I also like to keep abreast of news and current affairs.
Sodoku, noodling, crabbing, boxing, fossil hunting, origami.
And that's about it.
Thanks to So Syncd for sponsoring that segment of the video.
Now, for your regularly scheduled sketch.
Welcome to "Infatu8".
The show where we set up eight couples
with nothing in common and send them on a first date.
Do opposites really attract?
Ooh, let's find out.
For our first date,
we've set up a fashionista with an entrepreneur.
These two will bond over a dancing lesson.
Perhaps a little motion will be enough
to jumpstart their hearts.
All right, everybody. It's time to dance.
Who's ready for a little spontaneity?
As soon as he said the word spontaneity,
alarm bells started going off in my head.
Hey, are you okay over there?
'Cause you kinda seem like you don't wanna be here.
Why would you say that?
Well...
I don't wanna be here.
It was in that I realized
that he didn't really wanna be there.
Right, well, it was nice meeting you, but I hate dancing.
So, I'm gonna go home and chat on discord until 3:00 am.
Wait, you can't know you hate something
until you give it a fair shot.
That's not true.
I literally do that all the time.
Bye-bye.
Wait, look.
See, you already know how to do the robot.
What do you mean the robot?
This is just the way that I move.
Whoa!
Everybody look at this guy right here.
This guy can dance.
That's my boo.
Why are we still here?
Just to suffer?
Looks like that date was an undeniable success.
Let's move on to our next couple.
This time around
we've paired part-time poet with a funeral director.
Can time at the animal shelter
bring out their inner lovebirds?
Oh my gosh.
Look at all you puppies and kittens.
I wish I could take you home with me,
but that would be a really bad idea
'cause I can barely keep a cactus alive.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Tell you the truth. I was not sorry.
I had more important things to do than this date.
That's okay.
I kind of prefer being alone.
Where were you anyway?
I was just talking to the manager of this shelter
to see how we could help.
'Cause if we're not doing any work around here,
then we're kind of just looking at a bunch of animals
and that's really a waste of time, isn't it?
That was a big red flag that I missed somehow.
Working on a date?
I don't even work when I'm at work.
Yes, we should definitely work together like that.
That'll be a lot of fun.
All right, so let's head to the back room.
What kinda work are we gonna be doing?
Are we gonna be like walking the dogs
or giving kittens a bath?
The manager said not everyone
has the heart for this kind of work.
It's a rare person who can suppress their emotions
and do what needs to be done.
What do you mean exactly?
What's in the back room?
You know how to work a syringe, right?
(gasps)
(thuds)
What kind of selfish monster would deprive these puppies
of getting their Lyme disease vaccines?
I mean, what else did she think
was gonna happen in the back room?
Oh, now I see.
Okay, that wasn't supposed to happen.
Let's hope our next couple will fare better.
Now, we've set up a geologist and a baker
at a Rock 'n Roll concert.
Get it? Rock 'n Roll?
Geologist and a baker?
You don't get it?
Oh, it's like, you know a geologist studies rocks
and then a baker.
(cacophonous rock music)
Uh, this music is so good.
I wish I could marry this band.
Yeah, I agree.
The music is very bland.
I couldn't believe what he said.
He wants to marry the band too.
Like seriously, this is crap.
No, actually this is not rap music, but I love rap.
You know, this is really great.
I feel like we should get together again soon.
Like, we really connect.
Are you serious? This date is awful.
Yes, we can get Belgian waffles.
That would be brilliant.
Yeah...
Apparently, I somehow agreed to go on a second date.
That was terrible.
Well, they say love is blind,
but I guess it don't hear too good either.
(exhales)
And if you like that one,
you're not gonna wanna miss what's up next.
Ssh!
We find our next couple at the movie theater.
Can the silver screen bring together
a professional ventriloquist and a meteorologist?
Thus far, the books are better than the movie.
However, the one advantage of a movie
is you can eat popcorn while you're watching a movie.
You can't eat popcorn while you're reading a book.
It's too hard.
You get grease all over the pages.
Wait, so that guy that she just killed?
I thought he was one of the good guys.
Well, I mean there's like shades of gray.
You can't really say someone's bad or good.
But she's also one of the good guys.
Ssh, the Queen's brother
is doing an epic monologue right now.
Wait, that guy's her brother?
They were making out earlier.
Dude, just turn off your brain and watch the movie.
Just trying to make sure I'm not missing anything.
You're missing literally everything and I'm missing it too.
So, how did the date go?
This was a date?
I thought this was like a movie review show.
I knew I was missing something.
Well, you know how it is.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't uh...
Next, we head to the great outdoors with our next couple.
A mechanic and a family and marriage therapist.
Okay, so we have two trails to choose from.
A two-mile trail and a seven-mile trail.
Ooh, the seven-mile one sounds fun.
What do you think?
Two miles.
Oh, okay.
The two-mile trail it is then.
I was shocked.
He seems like such an outdoorsy guy
that he would definitely wanna go on the longer,
more challenging trail.
If I'm gonna go on a seven-mile long hike.
I wanna be by myself.
But little did we realize.
Okay, wow.
This trail is really steep.
(gasping) I need to catch my breath.
How is it still going up?
Doesn't it have to level off at some point?
We've only got a half mile.
The shorter trail was so challenging,
we didn't even have the breath to talk to each other.
I knew exactly what I was doing.
Two miles long with a 1,000 foot elevation change.
She was so gasp she didn't have the breath to talk to me.
Oh, my heart rate is 180.
I don't think I could make it.
I'm gonna die.
I just need to crawl this part.
Finally, we're at the end.
That was a terrible date.
We didn't even talk to each other.
Best date ever.
We didn't even talk to each other.
Next couple.
Our next lovebirds.
An event coordinator and a technical writer
will be looking for that spark
over a traditional dinner date.
Let's check in on them, shall we?
(enchanting music)
Surprisingly, the date was going amazingly well.
And then, the food arrived.
Oh my gosh.
You know what would make this date even better?
What if we share our food?
I'm just gonna snag one of those French fries.
Mm. So yummy.
I always like to say
if it's coming off someone else's plate,
the calories don't count. (laughs)
Would you like a bite of my salad?
Here's the thing.
Little did I know,
my entire universe was about to be rocked.
Had I wanted the salad?
I would've ordered the salad.
I mean, that's the thing about placing an order.
You get to decide what ends up on your plate.
And here's another cool thing.
You want some fries and a salad?
Guess who's a fully grown human
capable of making that decision for herself?
Like, you could order literally whatever you want
never once having to touch my plate.
Oh, and that calorie thing is a load of crap.
Not to be rude or anything.
Oh no, you're fine.
I think I smoothed it over pretty well.
It was the most rude thing I've ever heard in my life.
I think we have all learned a valuable lesson from this.
Never touch a man's French fries.
No.
Never touch anything.
Next, we matched up a college professor and a pharmacist.
Let's see if they have shot at love
at the local coffee house.
I'm looking for a girl who's just like my mom,
but a little bit closer to my age. (laughs)
You know, what's fascinating?
Dating.
Yeah. I agree.
And it's fun to get to know new people.
- Which ironic because no matter how many new people we meet
we end up gravitating towards partners
whose personality resembles that of our parents
in an attempt to repair past dysfunctional relationships.
- I mean, me and my mom get along pretty well.
We talk all the time.
And by that, I mean, she does monologues
about a bunch of stuff I don't understand.
And I kinda just make comments
that she doesn't even acknowledge.
But the interesting question is do the mates
that we select actually resemble our opposite sex parent
or do we just project those traits onto our partners
so that they may conceptually take over
that role of parent in our lives?
Yeah, I think I may get another chocolate croissant.
Do you want anything?
But of course, a lot of these concepts are 40 and so.
I'll take that as a yes.
Chocolate croissant?
That's a clear double entendre.
Or maybe a pastry's just a pastry
and he really likes pastries.
Just like my dad.
No clue what she was talking about, but she mad cute.
That was weird.
Our final couple is tackling an escape room.
Can a high school guidance counselor and a stock broker
problem solve their way into a happy ending?
All right, let's escape this room.
Start tearing the place up for clues.
Usually, I try to escape two a locked room.
Ha.
Oh my gosh, when I played the notes D-E-A-D on the piano
that chandelier by the bookshelf started flickering.
Go check those books.
Sure.
A lot of nights, I go to bookstores by myself
and just stare at the shelves for a couple hours
until they close.
I'm great at this.
An escape room for a first date?
It's like, you take a situation
that's usually a little awkward, and then you lock the door
so that you can't get away from the other person.
I pulled a book off the bookshelf
and it looks like it's got some kinda code on it.
Yes, it's a clue.
Oh, I just thought it looked like an interesting read.
Good job, player.
You're good at this.
I mean, I find hidden messages and everything.
Why not the cover of a book?
We make an excellent team.
Just like two famous people who are on a team
that everyone would know if I said their names.
We've spent literally 30 seconds together.
We weren't even really talking to each other.
I can't wait to go on so many other high octane adventures
with you in the future.
This is just the beginning for us.
I don't think you're gonna be able to escape my charm.
Hey, I think I saw a clue over there.
Where did she go?
Wait.
Did she escape the room without me?
Now, that's my kinda girl.
That was unexpected.
But seriously, if you have seen this woman,
please contact the authorities.