I am going to share with you seven things that great parents do differently, pay attention.
It's not magic or luck when you get to the end of this video, you'll know seven things
that absolutely work. Just pick two of them, pick two. Let's start with that, shall we? first off a
disclaimer, you're already doing a great job. I'm Dr. Paul Jenkins, I'm a professional psychologist.
I've worked with parents my entire career, which is pushing three decades now, and I know something
about you already. You are a good parent. I know you just heard some noise in your own head. Yeah,
about this, and that, and Dr. Paul, you don't know this, or that, I get it. Okay, and there's
some noise that clutters up our mind. But for you to be here, right now to have found this video,
and to engage the way you are right now, that tells me a lot about you. I am not here to make
you a better parent. I already think you're great. I do want you to be more confident in showing up
as a great parent. That's why we're going to talk about these seven
characteristics that great parents have. First off great parents smile. There's two reasons for
this. They smile because they have taken personal responsibility for their own happiness. They don't
depend on their children to make them happy. They choose happiness and show up differently
for their children. This takes the pressure off of the kids. It's too much of a burden to
expect kids to make us as parents happy. We're responsible for our happiness. When you smile,
it also changes the dynamics with your kids. I've said this many times in our parents seminars.
When mom is smiling, kids are thinking. Consider just how true that is because when you're smiling,
your kids are wondering. What am I missing? What's going on? What does she know that I don't know?
That's a great strategy, and it's genuine because you're in charge of your own happiness, great
parents smile. Great parents say yes. They get to yes. My creative editor for my first book Thomas
Cantrell gives a presentation about the magical power of yes. It's a word that is affirming. It's
a word that opens up possibilities, and as parents a lot of times we find ourselves saying no a lot.
No, you can't. No, stop. What if we were switch that over and say yes? Get to yes. Now, it's okay,
if you say yes when or yes if. Do you see how? You don't even need to say no at that point. Your kids
ask you for example, can I go to the movies with my friends? And your answer is yes, when
your homework is done, or yes if you can show me that you're being responsible for this other thing
in your life. Do you see? Get to yes. Yes is a powerful and affirming word that will work some
magic in your relationships, great parents say yes. Great parents do self-care. I'm reminded of
this every time I get on an airplane, and you know, when you're taxiing out on the runway,
and you're about ready to take off and the flight attendants are going through their safety routine,
right? You're familiar with it. Just in case, you've been in a coma for
20 years. They show you how to fasten a seat belt and release it good to know,
right? But there's a part in the presentation where they say if we lose cabin pressure.
These very attractive oxygen masks are going to fall from the ceiling everywhere,
and you're going to take one of those and put it on your face and stretch that little rubber
band over your head, you know the routine. They always say at that point. Look if you're
traveling with young children, or someone who needs assistance. Put your own mask on first.
Why do they say that? Because our natural tendency is to help the person that we're
responsible for. But if you're out cold in the aisle, you're just in the way,
you're part of the problem at this point. You've got to put your own mask on first
because that puts you in position to help everybody else. That's what self-care is all
about. Now, there's a lot of misunderstandings about what self-care is. Some people think that
means taking time for yourself to do things you want to do, and yes, that's part of self-care.
The much more important part of self-care that I want to call to your awareness right now
is the story. The narrative that's going on in your head about who you are and who you
are as a parent? How would you finish this phrase? As a parent, I'm just so _______.
How did you finish that phrase? And notice this, if I talk to you. The way you talk to you.
Would we be friends or would you fire me right now? You be kind to yourself.
The words that you say to yourself are the most important aspect of self-care,
and that's the part that a lot of people ignore. It's huge, get some coaching if you need it.
Find some way to be kind, and forgiving, and respectful, and compassionate, right here at home.
Where it means, the most. That is self-care, and great parents do self-care.
Great parents understand how control and maturity. Come into play when we interact
with our kids when we're doing discipline control and maturity. I've put together an
entire model about Control And Maturity. This is where all of my parent trainings and seminars
are based on this model and I gotcha on this one. it's not the purpose of this video to go into
detail about that. But I'll give you a copy, go to the URL on the screen drpauljenkins.com/stages
because we talk about stages of moral development. It's not about age,
it's about stage, and when you understand that everything changes. Once again,
drpauljenkins.com/stages I got you on this. I'll give you the materials for free. okay,
go grab it. Great parents understand control and maturity. Great parents watch Live On Purpose TV,
how did you feel when I said that? Because here you are watching Live On Purpose TV,
have you subscribed yet? Do you remember earlier I told you pick two, pick two of these things that
great parents do. You've already got one? Check it off your list, you watch Live On Purpose TV.
Great parents watch Live On Purpose TV. Great parents take care of their team.
I give four rules of parenting in our parenting seminars. Take care of yourself, we already
talked about that. Take care of the team, that's number two. Number three is love your children,
and number four is discipline your children. We give trainings on each of those as well, but we're
at the team stage right now. Who is your team? And how do you take care of your team? Incidentally,
I am honored to be on your team. As you join our family here at Live On Purpose, we are constantly
giving you the tools, and the resources, and the models, that you need to be a great
parent. Taking care of your team means that you pay attention to the relationship
with the other adults in your life. If you're married. It means, your spouse. Okay. They're on
your parenting team. You together are a team to provide what these children need. But if you're
alone, if you're a single parent. First of all, my hat goes off to you, that's a big job. But
you still have a team. You have us here at Live On Purpose Central. You might have your pediatrician.
The child's teacher, you might have a babysitter or extended family that help you out. Take care
of your team, great parents take care of the team, and finally, great parents understand their job,
and your job as a parent is to love them. No matter what, and even if. I throw that last
part in because sometimes, the no matter what's, or the even ifs, get in the way.
Are you prepared to love your children? No matter what, and even if. Even if, they hate you.
Yeah, they've thrown that at you before? Yeah. They probably don't really hate you but when they
throw that at you. You prepared to do your job love them. Even if, they say they hate you. Are
you prepared to love them? Even if, they fail out of school. Even if, they commit a crime,
or get on drugs, or choose a lifestyle that you fully disagree with, are you ready to do your job?
Great parents understand their job is to love them. No matter what,
and even if. Hey, you are a great parent. I think you've found evidence for that as you
watch this video today. Remember, I'm setting you up to succeed. Go
grab your model drpauljenkins.com/stages I'll put this in your inbox, and there's more to come,
from where that came from. Okay. I've got your back glad to be on your team.