I'm at the Dead Sea.
Dead Sea is 1,300 feet below sea level,
it's the lowest point on Earth.
The water is so salty, it is literally impossible to sink
and yet, they have a lifeguard.
Wow!
I can feel my body changing, all the salt.
My penis has been turned into a brined Vlasic pickle.
Be honest, am I too white?
Yes, right?
Too white.
Quick question, are you here with your boyfriend?
Okay, you're with me now.
I took off my wedding ring, they said
you can't wear jewelry in here,
so that means I'm not married while I'm in the dead sea.
Why are you covered in this mud?
You take mud from the Dead Sea
and it has all those minerals and stuff.
So you put it all over your body?
Yeah, yeah.
Is this attractive, do I look attractive now?
Attractive Israeli man.
I know, so you think I'm more attractive
covered in mud than as God made me.
I'm going to go that way and I'm going to cry.
Too late for sorry!
May I help you?
Yes, can I get a glass of red wine
and 600 glasses of water?