I'm waiting for Brittany and her friend.
We're about to go to an event that is going to be promoting their new IPA beer.
I have no idea what it is, but we're here, we're out and we're having some fun.
It's Wednesday night right now, and I gotta go out from the house and do some fun.
Check this out.
See how it is.
It's pretty cool.
If you have this app called “Surkus”, you can use it to go to events, to invite
you to special events.
This is not an advertisement, just letting you know I use this app in Los Angeles.
If you live in any big city, they should have it there were the events that are happening
in the city, you'll get invited.
You get to go to more cool events if you end up showing a good attendance rate.
Check it out!
I wasn't allowed to bring my camera in because it's a big DSLR camera.
I took some footage of the place that I was at with Brittany and her friend using Brittany's
phone because she has a lot nicer camera than I do.
One thing I was thinking about, can it be difficult for guys who are shy to be able
to feel comfortable in a very intense environment?
We're in a very intense environment tonight, but I think it's all relative to a guy who
is very shy, reserved, might see the place that we were at tonight is very intense and
overwhelming.
It can be much more difficult to be able to socialize and meet people on an atmosphere
like this.
I want to give you a couple of tips that can help you out.
One of the things you have to remember is when you walk into an environment that's intense,
whether it's a club, a bar or a party, or any kind of social atmosphere, the feelings
that you're getting in terms of feeling a little more reserved, scared, self conscious,
you’re reflecting a lot on how you're acting, looking, and talking.
I want you to remember that other people, guys and girls are feeling the exact same
way as you.
I don't think that we think about that as much.
I think we are so stuck in our heads, that we don't think about what other people are
thinking.
You don't forget that you are alongside other humans.
Other people are going to be self conscious, they're going to be shy, they're gonna be
thinking about themselves.
Don't go into an environment like this and think that every single person is looking
at you and focusing only on you.
A lot of us are doing the same thing.
We're thinking about ourselves, focusing on ourselves.
Not all of the attention is on you where you may think it is when you walk into an environment
like this.
Another tip I want to give you is if you're going into an environment that's intense,
and you get overwhelmed, and you think like, how am I going to talk to anyone?
How am I going to start to socialize?
Focus on one goal at a time.
If I were you and you were to go into an environment that's overwhelming, think about one person
you can talk to.
One conversation you can have, instead of thinking that, we're gonna have to go in and
socialize with the whole part, you don't have to do that.
You're going to have multiple opportunities to be able to go out and meet people.
Think about maybe one person that you can talk to.
If you can do that by the end of the night, then you have succeeded.
We just came into Mel's diner, having a little after event snack, because we're hungry.
Another tip I want to give you for social anxiety, that feeling anxious or nervous when
you're in a heavy social environment is, the longer that you take to start a conversation
with someone, the harder it's going to get, it's going to get exponentially harder.
That's what happens when you walk into a place and you fear going up and having a conversation
with someone, every minute that goes by, it gets harder and harder.
If you haven't talked to him within 15 minutes, it's going to be the hardest it's ever going
to be.
My tip to you is the second you enter a venue where you want to socialize with, once you
meet a girl, you need to go up and start talking to anyone as soon as possible.
It doesn't matter if it's the bouncer.
It doesn't matter if it's even the friend next to you, but ideally, it's a stranger.
Anyone you can start a conversation right away.
That is going to loosen up the social muscles.
That's what needs to happen.
It's like warming up before you go to work out.
You need to warm up here too, as fast as you can get into a conversation with anyone.
Brittany said something very interesting.
We've been having a conversation here while we're eating our food, talking about social
anxiety.
She's been talking with a therapist, and she's been talking about the fact that when you
feel anxiety, when you feel an uncomfortable feeling, or negative emotion, you say thank
you.
What we try to do is we try to resist the bad feelings and what happens when you resist
the negative feelings is that you end up bringing them more to the surface and compounding that
feeling.
In order to try to get rid of a negative emotion because that's what you're trying to do, accept
it and feel it.
Stay mindful.
Feel it.
Be in the moment of what it feels like, accept it, and even say to yourself as an emotion,
thank you.
Thank you for coming off and telling you something that's important.
The more you try to resist the feelings that are coming up, the harder it's going to be.
Experience it and make it part of you and flow through it, instead of against it.